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She knew things were getting bad when ... ( a one-sentence long short story)

She knew things were getting bad when in the throws of passion with her cheap dildo, it slipped and the words "always use a sex toy with a flared base" echoed in her mind.
 
she knew things were getting bad when she finally found the only specs she had ever truly liked after 9 years but one arm had fallen off so she tried to super glue it back on, but the glue failed to exert any adhesive effect except upon her tongue, which got stuck to the roof of her mouth, so she attempted to free it by drinking just a tiny bit of paint thinner, which didn't work either, but did make her vomit, mainly through her nostrils since she couldn't open her mouth properly.
 
MrsGamp said:
she knew things were getting bad when she finally found the only specs she had ever truly liked after 9 years but one arm had fallen off so she tried to super glue it back on, but the glue failed to exert any adhesive effect except upon her tongue, which got stuck to the roof of her mouth, so she attempted to free it by drinking just a tiny bit of paint thinner, which didn't work either, but did make her vomit, mainly through her nostrils since she couldn't open her mouth properly.
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ps the above is entirely autobiographical - this actually happened to me today.
 
MrsGamp said:
ps the above is entirely autobiographical - this actually happened to me today.
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Jesus fucking christ, don't drink paint thinner, that can and will literally kill you. Next time get online to poison control or something. Yeash.
 
BK38 said:
Jesus fucking christ, don't drink paint thinner, that can and will literally kill you. Next time get online to poison control or something. Yeash.
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Well, tbh I thought it was methylated spirits, which ain't great either but people do drink it ...but yes it was pretty stoopid. panicked slightly. didn't want to go to a GP with such a
dickheaded problem ...over the course of 30 mins the glue on my tongue and lips sort of flaked off ...
 
MrsGamp said:
Well, tbh I thought it was methylated spirits, which ain't great either but people do drink it ...but yes it was pretty stoopid. panicked slightly. didn't want to go to a GP with such a
dickheaded problem ...over the course of 30 mins the glue on my tongue and lips sort of flaked off ...
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Yeah, no kidding. I'd rather someone think I'm an idiot than have the flesh literally stripped from my mouth. Next time, maybe swallow your pride instead of bloody paint-thinner? Anyhow, I'm not trying to give you a chiding, but ffs, that's almost Darwin-award levels of self-preservation.
 
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