shall i continue?

[citizen cained]

ok so i have been dating this girl for a few months now and tbh it hasn't really gone to plan so far, we used to be somewhat ok (she has a few bad points) but now we argue fairly regularly like once every 2 days mainly coz she will be upset about the smallest things for example she will have a go at me for using "your" instead of "you're" in chat, she will call me retarded and seriously mean it (although i think that in her head, it is neutral and she doesn't think it upsets me at all) it's getting on my nerves she just pics holes in everything and being round her is like treading on egg shells sometimes if i say the most benign thing she will flip. I am not in love with her yet and i don't think i will ever be unless this stops but I am willing to give it a chance as apart from the nit picking, we get on fine and she is a nice girl.

What i am asking is how do i respond when she nit picks? i have tried to say "it's not a big issue" and have tried to ignore her or change the subject when she starts (which works sometimes), should i be more firm? so instead of saying "sorry i got it wrong" i say "that is how i do things, get used to it" or should i just give her an ultimatum: "stop nit picking or i am gone"

 

[alasdairm]

ok so i have been dating this girl for a few months now and tbh it hasn't really gone to plan so far, we used to be somewhat ok (she has a few bad points) but now we argue fairly regularly like once every 2 days mainly coz she will be upset about the smallest things for example she will have a go at me for using "your" instead of "you're" in chat, she will call me retarded and seriously mean it (although i think that in her head, it is neutral and she doesn't think it upsets me at all) it's getting on my nerves she just pics holes in everything and being round her is like treading on egg shells sometimes if i say the most benign thing she will flip. I am not in love with her yet and i don't think i will ever be unless this stops but I am willing to give it a chance as apart from the nit picking, we get on fine and she is a nice girl.

What i am asking is how do i respond when she nit picks? i have tried to say "it's not a big issue" and have tried to ignore her or change the subject when she starts (which works sometimes), should i be more firm? so instead of saying "sorry i got it wrong" i say "that is how i do things, get used to it" or should i just give her an ultimatum: "stop nit picking or i am gone"

what does she say when you talk to her about it? how important is your poor spelling to you?

alasdair

 

[max_]

^^ This, did you talk to her about it?

I went to the park today and overheard a couple arguing sooo loudly and they seemed so upset. I don't understand why people stay together if instead of enjoying they're just suffering each other.

 

[Fawkes]

[...]she will call me retarded and seriously mean it[...]

i don't know that i'd want to reach a compromise or talk out an issue with someone that insulted me with name-calling, especially when that person was supposed to be my partner who respects me and cares for me. if she were only hyper-critical and nit-picky my advice might also be to talk with her about it, but that she's simply being verbally abusive and unconstructive is a huge red flag to me. maybe other people don’t find it so weighted, but in my relationships, calling someone you care about “dumb” or a “dick” or some other offensive term, is a big no-no.

 

[footscrazy]

I can't see why you're even with her. It doesn't sound like she makes you happy, and if you're not in love with her now I don't think it'll happen in the future.

 

[Jblazingphoenix100]

She sounds like she's uptight.

She sounds like she needs a serious deep-dicking.

Give it to her...and lay it down that you hate her nit picking and won't have it anymore. Man up.