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Sexy Job

Cohesion, have you been married for a long time? For some reason I thought you were a single mom. It doesn't sound like you're happy or this is a marriage of convenience. Either way, this sort of job isn't for a married lady in my opinion. Even for a single girl, after the fantasy fades I can see it turning problematic.

Say even the most highly sexual woman decides to work for this man. There's going to be days where you don't feel like giving him head. What if you're having a bad day or your child gets sick and you have to stay home with her? His sex-doll is expendable, not unlike any other job. If you are seriously considering taking this job, have an attorney go over this contract.

If indeed, he is a legitimate CEO for a large company, what about the other employees? I don't see them treating you as an equal. He's told you his previous "secretary" was with him ten years, maybe to make it sound more legit. But I doubt he can keep people that long. You've already been made aware that you will not be able to sue him afterwards for PTSD and other stuff. Just red flags all over, Craigslist being the first one.

Seriously, the man is a freak and it doesn't sound like a secure/legitimate job. Like notagain said, this guy could pull some shit on you that you can't anticipate or expect you to blow his colleagues too. You could tire of this just as quickly as he can. Fuck that! You can find something that offers stability without compromising your dignity.
 
I'm not married and neither my boyfriend nor I have any kids. If either of us were to enter into an arrangement of this nature, the other would be totally heartbroken. It's such a huge breach of trust, Cohesion. Others have raised the issues of safety - those are huge too. If this guy is paying for your apartment, then he's going to know where you and your child live. That to me is terrifying. Mandatory sex even when you don't feel like it?! YIKES!

T.Calderone also made an excellent suggestion about a background check. Here's an initial tip: go on the Secretary of State's website (for your state) and type in the company name or his name. This is free and it is public record. It will show at least his position in the corporation - whether as director, CEO, both... or none of the above. A private detective will be able to tell you even more if you're willing/able to hire one.

Ask to talk to his former secretary, maybe? If he balks, sign #1 that he's less than aboveboard.
 
There's no way your husband would be up for this, yet you really want to. Do the guy a favor and just end it before you break his heart with something so fucked up.
 
^
I hate to ask, but is the movie on Netflix? So sorry for being off topic.

It's not...I looked for it recently. Great movie, though.

I really don't have anything else useful to add except to say that Cohesion is a very thoughtful person and I am sure that she is weighing all of this input carefully.

Very interesting thread and situation.
 
Reverse the situation, What if your husband was in the position of your boss and got him self a never ending slew of play things? How might that make you feel? I am pretty sure that you might be a tad pissed. And this says nothing about what it is going to do to your child, think this might be a bad situation to expose her to? If you were single, and had no child this would be a different situation then hell if you want to subject your self to that kind of degradation ( and I see it that way I may be old fashioned but I think you should have enough respect for your self to be treated better then some whore )then go for it. Sooner or later the fantasy will wear thin and you may be in a really shitty situation, where you have all of your actions controlled ( after awhile the guy will get more controlling after all he has bought and paid for you and will treat you as such) and this has cost you a husband and a child, and what little self respect you have for your self. Hell I am all for crazy sex but this just seems to come with a big price tag, and I am not talking money. Besides if this guy can have that kid of cash to throw around he cant find any one that will do this with out begin on the pay roll?
I donno if I was your husband this would kill me, and the longer it went on whit out me know the worse the blow would be, he would loose what ever dignity and self respect he had. Any way, all I can say is weigh your options and if you go for this job let your husband go, save him the heart ache. This is just my opinion, and I am not judging, I am just putting my self in his shoes.
 
EDIT: Could I call a quick timeout to raise something that has become . . .

rampant throughout the thread. Everyone has made up his own version of the story (based on very minimal facts) and has reacted in line with that story. But, we don't know the real story. There's too much missing. All of the assumptions about the marriage, infidelity, the domestic situation, how Indian men behave, how a daughter might react ... they're all just made up. We've created a fiction around this situation that may be wildly inaccurate.

Whatever the case, I think that if the audience is going to pepper Cohesion with aggressive and uncomfortable questions, it would be fair to let her answer them herself. Can't we just reserve judgment for now? And maybe not call her a whore?
 
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What makes you pretty sure? Because that's how you'd feel?

I don't mean to pick on this one post. It's rampant throughout the thread. Everyone has made up his own version of the story (based on very minimal facts) and has reacted in line with that story. But, we don't know the real story. There's too much missing. All of the assumptions about the marriage, infidelity, the domestic situation, how Indian men behave, how a daughter might react ... they're all just made up. We've created a fiction around this situation that may be wildly inaccurate.

Whatever the case, I think that if the audience is going to pepper Cohesion with aggressive and uncomfortable questions, it would be fair to let her answer them herself. Can't we just reserve judgment for now? And maybe not call her a whore?


1- Yes you did mean to pick on this post other wise you would have spoken in a more general fashion and quoted more then just mine. If you disagree with my post that's fine, great part about the inter net we can discuss things with differing opinions, hell I joined the Army to make sure that other have this right.
2- Yes it is based on how I would feel I stated that in the post.
3- I said nothing about Indian men in my post reread it and frankly correct your self on that matter.
4- whore: noun derogatory
noun: whore; plural noun: whores
1.a prostitute. a promiscuous woman.
verb
verb: whore; 3rd person present: whores; past tense: whored; past participle: whored; gerund or present participle: whoring
1.
(of a woman) work as a prostitute.
"she spent her life whoring for dangerous men"
synonyms: work as a prostitute, sell one's body, sell oneself, be on the streets

So yes the usage of the word is correct when applied to this situation only if she takes the job, as it will be sex in various forms for money. I never out right called her a whore but rather asked would you want to be treated as such, so again if your going to call me out on it read my post.

5- It would be naive to think that her husband would not be adversely effected by this situation, any male would be, and based on the posts on here it is a very fair assumption based on simple human nature and observation thereof. I think most women if their husband did this would also feel badly about it. If you are going to deliberately take me to task, and make an example of me in front of the forum, separate what I said from what every one else said and take me to task for what you disagree with in my post.

6 - I never made mention of Indian men in my post, a few other posters have but I did not, because frankly It was not relevant to any thing. Race rarely is, the only time I will bring race up is in the description of a person for classification, in one of my papers, dealing with specifics relating to the race and implication and bearing on my paper. I take offense to this greatly, specifically because I have a good many friends of varying races, and fro future knowledge I am part Native American Diné to be exact so I do not make assumptions based on peoples race as traditionally between my Native American Heritage and the fact hat my other racial background is Scottish ( MacGregor a clan that was outlawed for a period of time) My back ground has a rich history of persecution, and my girl is A Russian Jew, and we all know about that quagmire so having some one imply that I mad a comment that may have been construed of as racially bias really chaps my ass.

7 - As you stated we have all made assumptions. you included, next time you plan to make a point about a group as a whole don't use a single person as an example. And make sure you read a post and make your response about that post not read one and hammer him fro every ones post.

8- The whore situation, I never called her directly a whore, see # 4 again. Also I would never call a woman a whore regardless of the situation, even if she was in fact one. it is a degrading term, and frankly one I find distasteful especially when sexuality is a complicated issue and sensitive, and one should not be judged based on their choices in said arena. I just feel that the guy with which this business proposition is being considered will treat her as such, seeing as men with that kid of background of having such toys, often feel that when they buy some thing they can treat it any way they want. She is already seeing the controlling aspect of this in clothing and the specific demands he has. I will say this again, if it was just her, she was single and had no children then hell go fro it, if she is into being treated like that turns her on. I have a few fetishes my self. But seeing as she has a husband, and a child, this may have a spill over effect, well it will have a spill over not might. Even if she can compartmentalize her life this has ramifications, I speak from experience trying to keep what I did away from my loved ones, while I was deployed over seas.In the long run it leads to having emotions that cant go any where and can turn sideways and crop up in strange ways, as will trying to hide this from her husband or child. And if she is open there is still going to be issues between her and her husband and child.

9- I am frankly more concerned about her having to deal with some one that has the kinna money to indulge sixths kind of passion. I hope for her sake that this guy is just into sex, and not the darker side of shit. And before you go off about BDSM being a choice I am fine with it, I just think a guy that has this kind of cash can get carried away with his control. That and you have to ask your self about a guy that has to pay for his pleasure daily. I am thinking sex addict, though I am not in a position to judge and if I were I still would not to each his own.

10- The point being that while yes every one here mad assumptions, including your self there grace. You are the only one that chose to take a single person and their post, and bash them, fro their post and every one else post. Did I blast Cohesion yeah a little, but not nearly as baddy as a lot of other posters did, and with no where near the venom of other posters as well, yet you chose to single me out and hammer me fro making assumptions. And frankly I take deep exception to some one saying "What makes you pretty sure? Because that's how you'd feel?" Yes it is, but does this in any way invalidate the opinion? Or my feelings in such a fashion? I can ask you a similar set of questions what gives you the right to call me to task, when the OP posted this in hopes of getting varying points of view in order to help her make a decision that I am sure she is agonizing over? Or perhaps you figured because I wasn't nearly a vulgar and mean spirited as other posters that I would not reply? Or take offense to begin called to task?

I will say this again, I hope that she makes a decision, with all the facts. Not just one based on the its your life do what ever you want mantra some people pus. The fact is it is not just her life, she is sharing it with a husband and a child, and while doesn't mean she can't do it it means she has other people to factor into the equation this means that some times when your life is bound to some one else you have to take that bond with a hefty amount of respect and weight when weighing out a decision. The fact that you think it is not fair assumption based on the information provided to us that her husband would take this badly, well then that's your opinion, and I sure as hell wont bad mouth you fro it because in a way you are right we need more information then we are given in order to give better advice. What we got is what we got.And there are a bunch of cats on this board that will back me up when saying if this happened to them they would take it badly, and that the OP needs to look at it from not just her needs stand point but that of her husband and child, and the fall out it will create. And if she still wants it go fro it, but cut the poor bastard free and let him nurse his wounds instead of basically begin cuckolded or let him have a few women on the side and see how that makes her feel. That was all I was saying. Despite being blasted fro the rest of the crap you hit me with.

To the OP- just look at it from your husbands point of view. And I wasn't judging you just giving my advice ( fro a point similar to your situation).

TO the rest of the people on the forum sorry for the long ass reply post, but it just rubbed me the wrong way and I felt it necessary to air my grievance.
 
It was an ad on craigslist so just keep that in mind. We all know that millionaires are constantly posting there looking for their next slut.
lol

Big bucks just call escort services and find the lady he wants.
 
The thread name, "Sexy Job" reminds me of Stewey's sexy parties.

LOL i can see him in the silk pajamas and captains hat lol

Rich ppl can be cheap. but if the guy is willing to purchase outfits and multiples of each and what have you. But I digress I donno just how real this post is or if it was just a crazy ass can we rile people up post. The person who called em out just pissed me off. But I digress. If I offended any one with my post I do apologize. or if I hijacked it That was not my attention.
 
Yes you did mean to pick on this post other wise you would have spoken in a more general fashion and quoted more then just mine. -snip-
Yikes!

Neoprimitive, you may not be in a mood to hear this, but I actually didn't mean to single out your post at all. That said, I went back to take a second look, and I see where you're coming from. So, I've done some repair work, which I'll describe in a second.

First, though, let me just explain that I've been following this thread pretty closely over the last couple of days, and I've been thinking more and more that Cohesion has been getting the short end of the stick, here. In fact, this has turned into a big pile-on, which I think has made her flee from the thread altogether. Your post just happened to be the most recent when I decided to jump back in. I used a very small excerpt from it as an example of what I thought (and still think) has not been particularly fair to her -- i.e., all of the assumptions we have been making about her personal situation. And I emphasized "we" in my post in the hopes that everyone would understand that I was speaking generally. Actually, I thought I made that pretty clear.

Doesn't matter ... if you and the world have a different perception, well then that perception is really what carries the day. I understand that you feel I did you wrong, and I take that pretty seriously. So, in an effort to work this out, I made the following gesture: I went back and edited my post to exclude the part of your post that I quoted; and I deleted my questions that referred specifically back to what you said. Then I replaced that bit with a simple introductory phrase. I left the rest of my post as it was because it truly was general enough to stand alone and didn't depend on your post at all.

I still don't feel any differently about the larger matter (i.e., I continue to think Cohesion deserves the benefit of the doubt until we get sufficient facts to sway us some definite way). But, I shouldn't have piggybacked on your post -- particularly because it wasn't necessary to do so. I hope that helps. And my original post is still preserved in your response (as a quote), so anyone can refer back to it to figure out the misunderstanding and why you were compelled to respond so strongly.
 
First, though, let me just explain that I've been following this thread pretty closely over the last couple of days, and I've been thinking more and more that Cohesion has been getting the short end of the stick, here.

I still don't feel any differently about the larger matter (i.e., I continue to think Cohesion deserves the benefit of the doubt until we get sufficient facts to sway us some definite way).

You think she's getting the short end of the stick? I'd say that goes to her husband actually.

She deserves the benefit of the doubt regarding what exactly? Cohesion has stated that she intends to deliberately cheat on her husband over a period of time for money, and hide it from him. This is not a once off drunken mistake we're talking about - this is calculated, ongoing deceit. No remorse or guilt evident, and absolutely no respect for her partner, her marriage, or herself. In fact, she's excited! She stated that life has groomed her for this "epic" opportunity! Lol, goodness. Shoot for the stars huh?

Cheating is abhorrent, and this situation is particularly disgusting. I fail to see how the condemnation of such deceit is unwarranted? I don't understand how Cohesion is being wronged here? I feel that the responses in this thread are completely justified, and if she takes them on board, it could save her and her family a world of pain.

We should all strive to act with integrity and honesty. The act that the OP is considering is the polar opposite of that. Her actions have the ability to absolutely destroy the man that she is married to. Not only that, but if he does find out, the chances of successfully co-parenting her child go down the drain. The pain and bitterness this man would feel may very well be permanent. The child will then suffer for life as a result. I won't even get into the potential problems this arrangement may cause for her personally (you reap what you sow)...but innocent parties are at risk here.

Cohesion - your actions have the ability to completely destroy another person, a person who you claim to love and who loves you in return. Your daughter will suffer greatly if this ever comes out (and it may very well - don't fool yourself). If your daughter finds out (your husband may be pissed enough to tell her), then she will never, ever look at you the same again. She may even cut all contact with you permanently.

What you are proposing is beyond selfish - it is absolutely disgusting. The fact that you have even taken it this far warrants divorce IMO. You are putting your family unit at risk for some clothes, some cash, and some possible sexual fulfillment. All that, but you won't divorce your husband, no? You want to fuck another guy, have him spoil you and fuck you, but you're greedy - you want your husband too. Ugh, seriously. Selfish beyond belief.

If you want to be a prostitute, go for it. Divorce your husband first. Do what you will, but at least have the kindness to let him go before you do this. If you're so unsatisfied, why remain married? To use him? Nice. Sort your shit out before you lose your family and destroy those you love.
 
She deserves the benefit of the doubt regarding what exactly?
All of the missing pieces. All of the facts that we don't have and that are necessary for a complete story. All of the facts that we've just made up in order to tell some version of a complete story -- like the one you went on to tell in the remainder of your post. It doesn't take a genius storyteller to fill in the blanks in an obvious way, get all righteous and indignant, and spew it out. A bunch of people ahead of you in line did precisely that. And you all talk as though Cohesion has been super-clear about this whole thing and there's nothing more to know, here. If everyone's satisfied, then OK -- you're not going to listen to anything further. But, I think reasonable minds could want to know much, much more before making a decision on this. It seems to me that we don't know more than we do know. In fact, many of the details have come from other members and from posts outside of this thread(?) SMH.

Listen, your argument isn't with me. We may very well have similar views on infidelity. Hell, I may have stricter standards than anyone else on BL with regard to infidelity -- who knows? And who cares? That's not the point. What I apparently have is a willingness to reserve judgment and to wait for complete information ... which might just boil down to the one or two facts that make me take another look at the situation and say, "oh, now I get it. Makes complete sense when you put it that way." Can't anyone else imagine a situation in which Cohersion posts again and says, "guys, I didn't tell you this before, but..." I can think of dozens of ways to finish that sentence that would turn this situation upside-down.

Look, I'm not trying to turn this into "12 Angry Men," alright? Maybe you all figured this out accurately right from the start, and I'm going to admit that you were right all along. But IDK ... am I the only one who has ever jumped to a conclusion and been wrong about it? Congratulations if you haven't.
 
I will respond to this in my night. I'll clarify everything. I feel partly responsible for the fallout due to my unstructured approach, and I knew better. Sorry about that.
 
I’m going to have to start with a disclaimer. I didn’t expect this type of response but indeed I lost my reasoning for a few days. I come to BL to discuss high-risk encounters in my life rather anonymously. I’ve been known to share less than flattering information repeatedly and I’m going to continue to put myself out there. I come… to access… our beloved Hivemind regarding these high-risk encounters with sex, drugs, and life.

It was totally cool with me that you guys dug in and displayed my shiny case of shit. Including @poopie @95land @Benny @Psyduck @Llama @dopemaster @Notagain, others… Most everyone’s response I could agree with in some and in major ways.

The job isn’t going to happen for so many reasons.

First and frankly, due to all the sexual excitement and vigorous shaking (a.k.a. stress) in my lower body, believe it or not… antibodies for HSV-2 have disturbed my skin. As a result I’m sober now, even ill. I have had the virus but have been in denial for 2.5 years. Incidentally it is only these last few days that I am enduring the acceptance process of having HSV-2. It should go without saying that I would not be acceptable in aforementioned job. Now I am untouchable and totally struggling with that. So please be kind.

It is significant to me that my body has intervened when I went for "too much". It's more significant that I created the need for that intervention. Indeed, the virus extracted from a dangerous situation has intervened to halt a dangerous situation.

@ T. Cald – To answer your question, I am a single parent. I did get married this summer, though he lives out of the country. The Visa process usually takes about a year but it will be longer for us.

Everyone made such excellent points. I wish this job really would manifest for me in some completely workable, moral, comfortable way, but I think many of us would on a fantasy level. The Secretary is a lovely movie and see it if you have not.
 
^You're not "untouchable." STD's happen. You seem pretty intelligent and introspective and I believe you'll find a way to live and flourish despite that virus.
Somehow, someway, despite all the unprotected sex I've had and all the dope I've shot, I'm still disease free. I really don't know why. It's a crapshoot.

You say the virus made the decision for you but wouldn't you have ended up saying no, regardless of that?
I think that was the right decision and I admire that you can put yourself out there and ask for input on issues/situations that most people wouldn't dream discussing. Anonymous or not.
Seems more than anything that you might be dealing with a lot of loneliness? Hopefully things will work out and your husband can head over soon.
I know you mentioned he needs some work in the bedroom department but perhaps you can learn him some shit and he can be a big part of making the virus you contracted not such a "be all end all" in your life.
Good luck. Be careful with yourself.
 
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