• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Sexuality as a weapon.

M

max_

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 15, 2011
Messages
576
You will have to agree with me when I say that women's sexuality is much more subtle than men's. I have come to realize that all day long women are using it to get what they want whereas men, even if they try have a much harder time getting away with it unnoticed. Women can do stuff like gently touching your arm or getting too close for comfort. Had a man do such a thing he would look like a total macho idiot. I myself would agree with that.
I've just turned 21 and I have a decent body plus I've been hitting the gym a lot. And on top of all that I have been horny as hell lately so I probably have been sending some "macho wannabe" signs out there (I plead guilty if you will). The thing is that I've been a victim of women all my life and since I began uni it has become sort of a bother. Even my teachers get all "too close" on me, like touching me or pressing their breast against my back when they are looking at my notebook or that sort of stuff.
Today we where all drinking from my thermus and a girl asked me if she could put sugar on it (knowing that I don not like sugar on my tea) and she tocuhed my arm while she asked. I have yet to learn how the hell to say no to this kind of pushing and needless to say we all end up drinking sweet tea.
My questions to you are these: How do I manage to say no? How do I do to not get stepped on? How do I stop feeling intimidated by this kind of behavior?
And most of all: How do I use my own manhood to do the same to them???

Thanks bluelight I hope you have some good advice for me.
 
Respond sexually to them. When they put their arm on your arm, take it as a cue to give her an arm resting on her shoulder (or something, I can pull these things off correctly IRL but explaining it is hard as fuck). If she flirts, you flirt. If a girl is using her sexuality as a weapon against you, with no interest in pursuing it further, she will back off, and then worry. If she is using her sexuality to actually have sex with you, then she will only get closer, and both of you win. Seems worth drinking a little sweet tea for. I think that, for the most part, you are taking honest advances the wrong way.

I have no idea what to do with regards to professors resting they titties on your head. I suppose being able to rub your titties on everything you want is one of power's many rewards.
 
yea a lot of women do this
its important to know to stand to your convictions when its important, and to be aware theyre doing this to get what they want and they wont have sex with you
 
Yes, attractive women use their sexuality to attempt to get what they want and start conflicts with it. It is a weapon and I would consider flaunting it without it being backed by any real effort to connect with someone in a meaningful way is sociopathological.
 
max_ said:
You will have to agree with me when I say that women's sexuality is much more subtle than men's. I have come to realize that all day long women are using it to get what they want whereas men, even if they try have a much harder time getting away with it unnoticed. Women can do stuff like gently touching your arm or getting too close for comfort. Had a man do such a thing he would look like a total macho idiot. I myself would agree with that.
I've just turned 21 and I have a decent body plus I've been hitting the gym a lot. And on top of all that I have been horny as hell lately so I probably have been sending some "macho wannabe" signs out there (I plead guilty if you will). The thing is that I've been a victim of women all my life and since I began uni it has become sort of a bother. Even my teachers get all "too close" on me, like touching me or pressing their breast against my back when they are looking at my notebook or that sort of stuff.
Today we where all drinking from my thermus and a girl asked me if she could put sugar on it (knowing that I don not like sugar on my tea) and she tocuhed my arm while she asked. I have yet to learn how the hell to say no to this kind of pushing and needless to say we all end up drinking sweet tea.
My questions to you are these: How do I manage to say no? How do I do to not get stepped on? How do I stop feeling intimidated by this kind of behavior?
And most of all: How do I use my own manhood to do the same to them???

Thanks bluelight I hope you have some good advice for me.
Click to expand...

Hahahaha. this is like some feminist meme, it is so stupid.

a "victim of women". classic. yeah, it isn't like the most important political movement for women is also routinely put down and criticized by people in power and people like you all the time or anything.

women use their sexuality to get things because they were forced into doing that in the days women didn't work and stayed at home all the time. it is just a horrible, engrained, sexist activity that occurs because society is fucked. women are obviously more likely to work in the sex industry in some way, for example, unless one is a hooker or porn star. women are also just taught from the day they are born that they can use their "assets" to achieve success. this is not a ruse against men, to trick them into doing things for them.

you feel tricked because you are a douchebag who doesn't realize his relationship problems with women have nothing to do with the fact that they are women. and so you think you can "exact revenge." it's disgusting, and also completely devoid of any personable responsibility. pretty convenient to blame an entire gender of people, huh? how convenient.

if this is a serious post: did it not occur to you that men do this also? unhealthy men in unhealthy relationships, or maybe just guys who are okay with casual sex having casual sex?
 
Lots of females use sexuality as a weapon as do many males.

How to say no? Use your confidence. You have to just say no. Unfortunately no one can give you confidence over the internet, that's just something you have to come up with yourself :)
 
a "victim of women". classic. yeah, it isn't like the most important political movement for women is also routinely put down and criticized by people in power and people like you all the time or anything.
Click to expand...

And? Is he someone in power? What kind of person is he anyway, that you already some defined category for similar persons? Lot's of political movements are put down and criticized by people all the time, it's no biggie.

women use their sexuality to get things because they were forced into doing that in the days women didn't work and stayed at home all the time. it is just a horrible, engrained, sexist activity that occurs because society is fucked.
Click to expand...

How do you justify extending the past experience of a large population to a current individual to whom it does not apply?

you feel tricked because you are a douchebag
Click to expand...

How is he a douchebag. He may very well be, buuut, based on his bluelight posts, I have no reason to conclude that.

and so you think you can "exact revenge." it's disgusting, and also completely devoid of any personable responsibility.
Click to expand...

Maybe he wants revenge on the individuals who do it to him on not on 3.5 billion more or less arbitrary humans. Is it possible "revenge" here means "I want to do the same thing back to them?"

if this is a serious post: did it not occur to you that men do this also? unhealthy men in unhealthy relationships, or maybe just guys who are okay with casual sex having casual sex?
Click to expand...

How is casual sex using it as a weapon?

Actually, I have hard time understanding the whole concept of sexuality as a weapon. A Browning M2.50 cal is a weapon, i.e. it's an inanimate, concrete object designed to cause harm to people without their consent.

Sexuality is however, an abstract concept which is a property of living organisms, and is as far as I can tell here, no one is talking about non-consensual acts which cause harm. Abstract concepts which are properties of other things can't meaningfully be called weapons anyways. Is velocity a weapon? I mean sure, high velocity objects impacting you can harm you, like a bullet. But, the concept itself is not tangible in any sense and is not instrincally linked to deliberate harm.

JP: You seem mighty butthurt in your post, u mad bro?
 
How do I manage to say no? How do I do to not get stepped on? How do I stop feeling intimidated by this kind of behavior?
Click to expand...

You stop being a clingy attention whore and demanding constant stimulation from every aspect of your environment. Sure, if you say no she probably won't touch your arm again. Your problem is that you see this as some sort of tragedy. It isn't.

Jean-Paul said:
[some callous bullshit]
Click to expand...

I agree. He's being whiny and petty. You, on the other hand, are being a complete asshole. OP isn't making social commentary or trying to slander 3.5 billion people, he's asking for help in his day-to-day life. This is not the time to bring up political issues, however important they may be: the balance of power in society has no relevance to the functioning of one single human mind.
 
atara said:
You stop being a clingy attention whore and demanding constant stimulation from every aspect of your environment. Sure, if you say no she probably won't touch your arm again. Your problem is that you see this as some sort of tragedy. It isn't.



I agree. He's being whiny and petty. You, on the other hand, are being a complete asshole. OP isn't making social commentary or trying to slander 3.5 billion people, he's asking for help in his day-to-day life. This is not the time to bring up political issues, however important they may be: the balance of power in society has no relevance to the functioning of one single human mind.
Click to expand...

i have a harsh way of wording things sometimes, definitely. i can be harsh with people. but don't sit here and tell me sexism isn't a "day-to-day life" issue.

there's a great blog to bring awareness to that issue, for people who are ignorant but i can't remember the fucking name just now. =/
 
I spent several years of my life almost completely isolated from human contact and I am very awkward with men and women now. What I am asking is this: When I have a girl pressing het body against me (whether she is being honest or manipulative) what the heck should I do with my own body? Should I stay as still as I can as I do now? Should I ignore it and just move as I would if she weren't there? Should I press back?
What would the best answer be if a girl is teasing me saying stuff like "can I keep this pen I borrowed from you?" "Can I pour a ton of sugar in your thermus?" "Are you coming with me and my (other) moron-boy-toy-dude to study for the midterms?"


And for the record I don't think men or women are better or worse and I honestly don't know who is ""winning"" the battle of the sexes lately and I don't carew I jsut want to get laid and start building some kind of healthy relationships with both men and women
 
i dont believe sexism against women is a serious issue in the developed world,if there is any sexism its in laws regarding fathers rights,so stop your whining jean paul!!
 
Just because a girl touches you it doesn't mean she's expressing anything sexual towards you.
A touch is usually meant as an expression of sympathy.
Watch girls/women talking among themselves. They are constantly touching one another.
This is the way they communicate. Men often have some big fear of touching one another, which is really quite silly.
So relax and stop being so obsessed.
You should get out more and mix more with women. You might start to understand them after a while.
 
3 said:
Respond sexually to them. When they put their arm on your arm, take it as a cue to give her an arm resting on her shoulder (or something, I can pull these things off correctly IRL but explaining it is hard as fuck). If she flirts, you flirt. If a girl is using her sexuality as a weapon against you, with no interest in pursuing it further, she will back off, and then worry. If she is using her sexuality to actually have sex with you, then she will only get closer, and both of you win. Seems worth drinking a little sweet tea for. I think that, for the most part, you are taking honest advances the wrong way.

I have no idea what to do with regards to professors resting they titties on your head. I suppose being able to rub your titties on everything you want is one of power's many rewards.
Click to expand...

Best advice in the first post. You have nothing to complain about if a girl is flirting with you "to get what she wants" and you do exactly what she wants without even trying to manipulate the situation. If you flirt back and then she backs off, she's an evil bitch. But since you said you're young and I'm gonna assume you're not butt-ugly, 99% of the time girls will keep flirting.
 
I guess that what I'm asking here is how to use body language. I have no idea what to do or when to do it. Back to a question that is still unanswered: What should I do when a girl presses against my back? How am I supposed to act? How do I smartly ask someone to massage my shoulders? (given it is a girl who is already a friend and I feel comfortable with her touching me how do I put it out? should I grab her hand and put it on my neck? Should I verbally ask her to do it?) any hints you have to share?
 
I guess that what I'm asking here is how to use body language. I have no idea what to do or when to do it. Back to a question that is still unanswered: What should I do when a girl presses against my back? How am I supposed to act? How do I smartly ask someone to massage my shoulders? (given it is a girl who is already a friend and I feel comfortable with her touching me how do I put it out? should I grab her hand and put it on my neck? Should I verbally ask her to do it?) any hints you have to share?
Click to expand...

Usually, it's gonna go like this:

*She touches your back*
"Hey baby, why don't you come massage me"
"Oh ok"
*Pulls off your pants and starts sucking your dick in class*

Nah, just kidding. Real life is (slightly) different from porn. Every situation is different so specifics aren't helpful but just do something. If she touches you, simply looking in her eyes and smiling can send the right message.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top