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Sex Partners

Infinite Jest said:
20 partners at 18 is more than average, I'd think, though plenty of people have had more. The only things to worry about are firstly, if you're safe (using protection, not doing anything you don't want to do) and secondly if you're having fun and not hurting anyone else. If so, I don't see why you should be worried :)
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This. But don't de-value yourself, if you give it up too freely are easily you won't feel good about yourself. less is more sometimes.



Monkeybizness said:
welcome to bluelight :)

i shall be honest
20 partners at 18 is pretty high its nothing to be ashamed of (always try to keep your sexual history to your self )
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and this. People do judge, and future partners may be put off or worry that they are just another 'notch on your bedpost'. If you meant someone you want a LTR with you can tell them in time, and by then it won't make a bit of difference.

And just to echo everyone else - STD's are very real, very out there and very catchable =D
 
Infinite Jest said:
20 partners at 18 is more than average, I'd think, though plenty of people have had more. The only things to worry about are firstly, if you're safe (using protection, not doing anything you don't want to do) and secondly if you're having fun and not hurting anyone else. If so, I don't see why you should be worried :)
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This. But don't de-value yourself, if you give it up too freely and easily as you won't feel good about yourself and will need to 'recover' from this phase in your life if its too excessive. less is more sometimes.



Monkeybizness said:
welcome to bluelight :)

i shall be honest
20 partners at 18 is pretty high its nothing to be ashamed of (always try to keep your sexual history to your self )
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and this. People do judge, and future partners may be put off or worry that they are just another 'notch on your bedpost'. If you met someone you want a LTR with you can tell them in due course if its relevant, and by then it won't make a bit of difference.

And just to echo everyone else - STD's are very real, very out there and very catchable =D
 
Monkeybizness said:
welcome to bluelight :)

i shall be honest
20 partners at 18 is pretty high its nothing to be ashamed of (always try to keep your sexual history to your self )

the problem i see here is that you have had 17 RANDOM partners who you only had sex with once ?
and youv actually had sex very few times
why?
there is nothing wrong with being single and having fun sex , but the problem is who are you having sex with having a high amount of partners is not safe for your health mainly nowaday you HAVE to becarfull with who your fucking around with . always use protection and watch you cute butt ..

im 22 and have had around 8 or 9 partners 1 boyfriend serious relationship but i have had sex i swear over 6,000 times so much i dont even know !!!so much sex !!!, and im into so many Kinks its ridiculous .. i am currently in a relationship but if i was single now knowing my self sexually and my weird strange fetishes i wouldnt be able to sleep with just ANY guy
if i dont see myself fucking the guy repeatedly i will not waste my time nor my vagina.

oh and each and every guy i have laid my touch on has respected and bonded with me and i was not in a relationship with them nor did i wanna be in one .. and also had multiple sex partners at times

sexs gets better as you get to know and trust your sexual partner , sex the first time is usually not that great . with the same person you can experiment and lean new things . if not your count just goes up but you knowledge of the actual act of sex is very limited you dont learn to appreciate sex you just fuck
having alot of partners does not make you good in bed , what does is your knowledge of sex LEARNING
what caused it to be just a one time sexual encounter ? was it you or was it the guy ?
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Well those other guys were not RANDOM. I have know them for a while and it just happens. But when it comes down to the act, some guys are good and other are not. I feel like a heartbreaker at times because most of these guys want actual relationships after we have sex and if they are no good i just cant even talk to them and feel horrible -___-
 
artic said:
Well, welcome to BL.

That's quite a few partners for your age. I don't think it is necessarily something to be ashamed about, but you might want to do a little soul searching. Why do you feel the need to have sex with so many different people? What went wrong in the relationships you had? Why did you have sex less than once a month with those people you trusted enough to go out with? Seems like there is more going on here than you are telling us.
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Its not like i feel the "need" to, it just happens. With the relationships I have had all end because they move away for college and it just doesn't work out. Dating was difficult for me at times considering how much time i had to dedicate to the other person. I had AP classes, sports, clubs, college classes, and volunteer work that i was all really committed to in high school. There simply was no time. But after my last relationship, I had dropped volunteering and club activities and tried to just have time to have fun....and basically i met other people.
 
ech0s85 said:
thats kind of a lot.

for me and a lot of guys i know, a girl whos fucked a ton of people is usually disqualified from being considered girlfriend material. I wont respect you any less and will still hang out and hook up with you or whatever.

But especially at your age nobody wants a girlfriend who some of their friends and half the guys they meet at school have hooked up with. its no good knowing so many people have been there, or worse hearing people talk about the shit they did to her.
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I have never had sex with anyone who goes to my school now...They have always been older than me, i just have know them since I was younger because they were juniors or seniors when i was a freshman.
 
az8 said:
Well those other guys were not RANDOM. I have know them for a while and it just happens. But when it comes down to the act, some guys are good and other are not. I feel like a heartbreaker at times because most of these guys want actual relationships after we have sex and if they are no good i just cant even talk to them and feel horrible -___-
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Well if its someone who're simply 'good' in bed right from the off that you're after, then you have no choice than to do as you do, keep picking guys up, and moving on when they're not.

And that means you have to accept you're gonna get through a hell of a lot of sexual partners - but the good news is the older the guy, the more experienced, so the better he'll be and the success ratio will improve.

So what exactly is it you want or are searching for? If you can figure this out you may be able to recognise bad habits that you need to train yourself out of, such as seeking acceptance through sex (thats just an example).

Or it may be as simple as you don't want any kind of emotional intimacy and just love the cock - in which case keep on as you are, and stay safe :)
 
az8 said:
Well those other guys were not RANDOM. I have know them for a while and it just happens. But when it comes down to the act, some guys are good and other are not. I feel like a heartbreaker at times because most of these guys want actual relationships after we have sex and if they are no good i just cant even talk to them and feel horrible -___-
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this is what happens when you dont select your partners wisely , jumping in bed with just any friend or what not is not the best choice if you took a little time to judge character maybe it would work out better for you .

i have found myself in very awkward situations because the guy i jumped in bed with was a total FAIL i put my self out there and for what? a lousy lay , another guy i just fucked , im not looking for notches im looking for pleasure the fear of putting myself out there and being disappointed is what stopped me from serious whoring around. i want good sex i want to be satisfied not just treated like a cum doll .

you have a count of 20 guys who you will most probably regret alot later when your older not because of the way they treated you or what not but because it was a true waste of your vagina.
you still have ALOT to learn right now in the ages of 18 - 20 you will find your self wanting to be very promiscuous. be smart be wise , if the sex your having is not making you feel good , satisfied , you feel dirty , used , or feel the need to validate yourself through sex then you need to to check yourself before you wreck yourself .. you sound weery of the count you have now if it wouldn't bother you then you wouldn't be on here asking us what we think
oh and in the real world out side of high school/high school group of friends GUYS ARE DIFFERENT they are strangers not friends
just trying to give some girl advise honest to shit
 
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Hi OP, I'm 31 now, had about 35 partners by the time I was 19 just due to being adventurous and free spirited about sex. Obviously this number is higher now, though not as high as you would imagine due to spending the next 10 years in monogamous relationships... I've never been treated badly, disrespected or called names. Never felt guilty and the very few encounters I've regretted were the ones that happened because I knew the guy really wanted me (and in some cases, had feelings for me) and I was just bored and curious about what fucking them would be like or wanted to feel desired, and just ended up hurting them without meaning to.

I don't know about men, but most women keep learning about their sexuality well beyond our 30s so you're still very early on in your sexual journey. And being sexual with different partners is a great way to learn. You're right, however to wonder about only doing it once or so few times with one person, especially boyfriends. Even when I was at my most promiscuous, I still had regular fwb and some I've been sleeping with for years, on and off.

I reckon that at the moment your finding the newness of sexual encounters exciting, and you get turned off sexually when your partners become familiar. I used to be like that too. I agree that if there's no crazy sexual connection there's no point doing it again, and some guys suck at sex without even realising it. I also reckon you should just keep rolling with the new experiences life brings until you do meet someone who fucks you soooo well you just can't have enough of him, and this will happen. 20 partners isn't that much in that sense.

I also think the fact these guys were already friends makes them a great safe choice to experiment with, but there isn't necessarily the kind of "OMG" sexual tension factor there is with a new unfamiliar mysterious lover. You'll know when you meet someone you're truly sexually compatible with, and I can guarantee you'll do it with them more than once!
 
What constitutes as a partner?
I'm a bi sexual female.
I've fooled around w men without intercourse..
I've fooled around w females without fingering them, or oral..just made out and saw their tits.
So...My numbers could vary a lot..
 
What counts as sex (in guy's mind / in general):
If you do oral sex = sex. It counts.
If you're inserting fingers, tongue or objects into a hole on another person, its sex.
If someone is having an orgasm, it counts.

See tits = not sex. Kissing = kissing, not exactly sex. doesn't count.
 
I only count sex partners as men I have had PIV sex with, I don't count the guys I gave handjobs/blowjobs to in their parents basement when I was a teenager.

I'm 26 and have had 20 partners: one 4 year relationship, some one night stands and several long term friend with benefits/fuck buddies. Among my friends, I'm on the low side.
 
LOL! Sorry Queenbee - but blowjobs are sex. It counts. Penis In the Ass doesn't count? That's catholic school girl work-around type thinking.

Here is an easy way to really consider it legally "sex". If anything you did with another human being is enough to put a 30yr old man in prison, if you were 13 years of age... that counts as a sexual act.
Hence, a 30yr old can kiss a girl in a not-family way and not be charged with a crime. But feeling her cheat or boobies will get him arrested.

So, general rule is, if a girl doesn't count blow jobs, then triple her real number... (She might have lost count anyway)
 
Your 'general rule' is horse shit. Even if I do count guys I've given head/handjobs to, my number goes up to 23. I've never done anal, so that doesn't bump my number either.
 
I didn't say it was my general rule. :) Each their own when it comes to anal... :)

Hey, if you wouldn't do it with a friend or a co-worker... its sex.
 
No... you don't fuck your friends. FWB are not the same as your friends usually. Think I would go to my some of my best male friends of 20+ years and say "suck my dick?" and it not be sexual?
So lets say you have some guy friends and you play video games at your place and you even have parents there in the same room. Some of your friends say, "HEY BEE - Come suck our dicks" as innocently as saying "do you have any more chips?" and nobody cares as its no different than non-sexual such as getting a new bag of chips, or talking about the weather.

If someone handed you a glass of water, you drink it... its not a crime.
If a friend or co-worker handed you a glass of milk with sperm in it that you were not aware of, that IS a sex crime and you can press charges.

You said blowjobs don' count, but it was enough of a sexual act that you choose to ignore it... but ask any man, "is it sex"... and yeah, it is. Its not home base - but he'll still take it with a smile.
 
i dont care of having sex with someone i just met..i just care bout how often my penny blows!
 
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