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Sex isn't what I thought it'd be

Gormur said:
I'm primarily a visually-minded type of person, so this isn't a subject I think about often. The first time I had unprotected sex I realized I didn't want to do it again. I'm definitely a sexual person but if I could describe it, it was like it wasn't meant to feel the way it did. I guess if you're a guy, like me imagine what it feels like when you spit in your hand and jerk off to it. Now imagine jerking off with lube. Vaginal sex is like spitting in my hand to jerk off to. Like, you know how the spit starts to dry out and it just doesn't feel nice at all. After the girl got wet it was even worse and I was about to come because it didn't feel good. I don't know how to explain that last sentence, haha.

I'm starting to think enjoying sex is connected to the runner's high. I'm not a person who gets endorphin or adrenaline rushes by being human. I need to become a superhuman with various substances. Then at least my entire body feels good and I don't care about this stuff. I guess at this point it's not about caring but being slightly concerned that I'm supposed to care or want to have sex. No doubt I like everything that leads up to sex, find women attractive. I have these wild sexual fantasies but they involve females I don't know and have never seen in real life. Basically they appear out of nowhere and have astral sex with me. This is a more recent thing, like over the past five years

I think it's weird that I like this more than sex. I also prefer to masturbate over having sex. Don't get me wrong, I've pleased women sexually. That's all it was though and after a while I'd had enough. I guess there's always Cialis but I don't know. Is that supposed to get you interested in sex itself? It probably still wouldn't feel good to me. Cheers
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You need to connect to your primordial, animalistic self and not have human sex if that makes sense. There's like human level sex, then there's wild animal sex. We are animals, after all.
 
So wait, you've had sex with 2 people, but how many times have you had sex?

I ask because it's not at all uncommon for the first few times to suck, or at least be not as good as it will eventually get. For men and women alike.
 
It takes time to become desensitized where the guy cums real quick. Then the two start to signal and communicate. I would suggest having him go in for a second or two and then stop and repeat until you both feel pleasure.
 
JessFR said:
So wait, you've had sex with 2 people, but how many times have you had sex?

I ask because it's not at all uncommon for the first few times to suck, or at least be not as good as it will eventually get. For men and women alike.
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Around 90 times but that was over 1 1/2 years and it was a long time ago when I was 19, so from 19 to 20; once I turned 21 I was single and wasn't having sex with anybody
 
The Wizard of the Creek said:
If you don’t mind me asking, what drugs/meds do you take regularly? It might be helpful and at least we can rule them out as something that might cause sexual side effects? As for the other stuff, maybe changing things up in the bedroom with a bit of an adventurous cosplay and toot job might be helpful?

You state that you have only been with 2 women before and both looked pretty similar to each other (same kind of physique)? Are you in a committed relationship at the moment? If you are, is your partner aware of this aversion to how pussies feel? If not, please be careful how you discuss it with her. She might think that this pussy problem is something wrong with her, like she might think she has a bad vag.

Tried anal before with either one? Did you like how that felt?
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Just lithium, tobacco and an occasional drink. I didn't care for anal when I tried it but I could try again one day if that person is into it. No, I haven't been in a relationship in 17 years. Maybe I don't like functional relationships so it makes the sex feel bad, at least I've thought about that a lot :)
 
Gormur said:
I'm primarily a visually-minded type of person, so this isn't a subject I think about often. The first time I had unprotected sex I realized I didn't want to do it again. I'm definitely a sexual person but if I could describe it, it was like it wasn't meant to feel the way it did. I guess if you're a guy, like me imagine what it feels like when you spit in your hand and jerk off to it. Now imagine jerking off with lube. Vaginal sex is like spitting in my hand to jerk off to. Like, you know how the spit starts to dry out and it just doesn't feel nice at all. After the girl got wet it was even worse and I was about to come because it didn't feel good. I don't know how to explain that last sentence, haha.

I'm starting to think enjoying sex is connected to the runner's high. I'm not a person who gets endorphin or adrenaline rushes by being human. I need to become a superhuman with various substances. Then at least my entire body feels good and I don't care about this stuff. I guess at this point it's not about caring but being slightly concerned that I'm supposed to care or want to have sex. No doubt I like everything that leads up to sex, find women attractive. I have these wild sexual fantasies but they involve females I don't know and have never seen in real life. Basically they appear out of nowhere and have astral sex with me. This is a more recent thing, like over the past five years

I think it's weird that I like this more than sex. I also prefer to masturbate over having sex. Don't get me wrong, I've pleased women sexually. That's all it was though and after a while I'd had enough. I guess there's always Cialis but I don't know. Is that supposed to get you interested in sex itself? It probably still wouldn't feel good to me. Cheers
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Hi -

A woman's point of view here ...... In our society I think lots of men feel that they should be ready to go 24/7, want almost any kind of sex at any time and that it will just be fantastic. Well, a lot of men do feel that way and that is how it is for them, but EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.

I cannot help but wonder if you might be a man who needs to feel a serious emotional attachment to a woman before you can enjoy your sexual experiences. In other words, you want to actually get to know them, feel that sexual attraction, and want to then make love and not just have sex. Any man can have "sex" and so can a women. It is a mechanical exercise. But, to really care about another human being and feel an emotional connection can make having sex awesome. Most of the time, a truly satisfying sexual experience with another human being should be a "journey" and NOT just a "destination" for both parties.

The other way of doing things has not worked for you. So, you might want to reevaluate and try a different approach to this issue. Just my two cents.
 
God damn I’m glad I’m old and not part of said new era click! Y’all forgetting the most fundamental truth about our fucked up species. Better to give than receive.
I guess it’s due to std worries and such, but reading this makes me really pity a lot of you.
Sex is meant to be an expression of love between two people. If it just ain’t doin for ya, maybe you’re using it for the wrong reason. Bandaid. As just another “ high”. Piss poor replacement for something else missing in your lives.
I read on here so often stressing to test your products, only trusted sources. Maybe should value your emotional health as much as your physical well being.
I’m old; when young I let my cock take me places a sane man wouldn’t dare go. The poor guy should have fallen off, but other than a case of pussy fleas, unscathed.
Married in my early 20’s. After 15 yrs div/ and eventually remarried.
Long story short, 2 partners in 20 + yrs.
And I’ve had more ass than a toilet seat. You want good sex? Give good sex. I’ m a man, so I don’t learn real quick, admittedly. Practice, practice practice. And no porn star or professional, no stranger whatsoever, compares to learned carnal knowledge with someone you care about.
If you prefer a ‘wank’ to real lovins, as we say down here, “ Bless your Heart”
As for me, fuck that. Rather be a Twisted Monogamist.
 
You need both for balance @mdx92129 It's been awhile for me and biology is starting to take hold of my sex drive. You can only hold out so long. Then there are those that use sex as a drug. So, harmony.
 
For me kissing or wanting to kiss somebody is love but fucking is carnal. It's just what you do. I think it should feel good but maybe it doesn't for everybody
 
Before I became a full-blown junkie, I think sex was my junk. Sex and alcohol.

Nowadays I think sex, overralll, is ridicously overrated.There's also a societal-pressure to almost be a sexual predator.
I feel you man. The last time I fucked (may), I found it physically exhausting, little rewarding and soon and she got off, I got, the cum dried and it felt cheap and stupid.

Evolution made it pleasurable and made us "connect" (ya'know, "soulmate-sex") through a primitive ritual so we would reproduce.
Sex is great when adding say, 2C-B, MDMA, maybe LSD if you're prepared to be freaked out by your dick and the vaginal opening.
Oh, and def fucking n punching. Having a chick ride you and clock so you almost pass out at climax is amazing.
Sex and violence, UNDER CONSENT OFC, is beautiful. I can't be particularly violent, like punching, but man do I love a woman with a firm ass and steady hook.

There are far better highs, and far better ways to connect with people you may happen to fall in love with.

I hope to meet someone who's asexual and fucks my mentally instead. God, that would be rewarding. Discussing books instead of tinkering at each others privates like kids.
On the other hand, going down on a chick and making her squirm or getting head is always at treat.
 
Gormur said:
For me kissing or wanting to kiss somebody is love but fucking is carnal. It's just what you do. I think it should feel good but maybe it doesn't for everybody
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Amen. If I'm in love I find kissing to be tantalizing as fuck. Absolutely amazing.
 
yeah it's not what I tought it'd be after wearing a condom. No point.
 
Gormur said:
My testosterone seems fine but I've never had it tested. I mean it seems fine because I'm interested in sex and get myself off whenever I feel like it.
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What do you think about or fantasize about that gets you off
 
neversickanymore said:
What do you think about or fantasize about that gets you off
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I imagine that I'm fucking this chick and she might like it but she's silent all the way through. Well that's happened to me before and we both got off around the same time. All other times I remember getting her off then getting myself off except once when she sucked me off and I came in her mouth. I don't like oral though because her teeth rubbing against my dick made it go numb and I couldn't enjoy it. Pussy is better since I can shove my dick in all the way
 
This thread and replies is crazy to me.

How could masturbating ever ever be better than sex..

Lay off the porn. It makes sex better. Not to OP im just saying. I personally don't masturbate.

Sex and spiritual enlightenment are the only thing thats better than drugs to me.

Sex for the first time completely blew the hype away for me. Basically became addicted to it. Gf and I had sex 3x a day everyday for basically 7 years. Now I have a wife I have sex with 3x a day every day. Testosterone estradiol and dht plays a huge role in sexual desire among other things.
 
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Porn doesn't do anything for me sexually. I do watch lesbian and masturbation porn sometimes but mainly out of boredom. There's a good moment now and again. I just think it's normal to be curious like that though. I can definitely do without that kind of stimulation/entertainment. It helps time go by faster though

Maybe some people have dick problems, like maybe I do. I'm not sure. It seems like I know what gets me off and that's basically all I care about. Pussy hasn't felt good for me. It's the opposite, really. Imagine jerking off with wet sandpaper. Then I think maybe it isn't supposed to be good. It's just for procreating, which is true to an extent so I suppose in the end it doesn't matter all that much
 
I feel sex is so-so at best if I have no love for my sexual partner. I don’t plan to do it again unless there are strong emotions on my part at the very least toward my partner.
 
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