@puke I think about injecting Heroin dozens of times in the course of an average day. You can look at that as weakness or as strength depending upon how you see that glass, half full or half empty. I tell a lot of people the story of getting out of the shower in the morning.
Heroin; Opiates in general, had weakened me to the point that the idea of getting out of the hot shower and experiencing the cold air on my skin caused me to freeze with trepidation. Should I get out, should I stay in? Maybe another 10 seconds, maybe another 30, no, you´re weak, get out now, but I can´t. 15 minutes goes by and you realize that a simple, every day task is enough to break you with anxiety.
Again, you can look at this as strength or weakness. We all had to overcome these thiings. Nobody threw me a ticker tape parade for getting out of the shower. Furthermore, most people see getting clean in general as ¨what you´re supposed to do anyway¨; not worthy of praise in any respect.
I am very happy @Troppo
Believe me, when I was 20 years old and had just joined Bluelight, I was never discussing the values of a ¨program¨. I had a mostly nihlist view of life in general and using Heroin helped me maintain that general feeling of apathy toward everything.
Mark Twain said something like, ¨when I was 13 my parents became stupid, when I turned 20 they became smart again¨. That is so simplistic, but I look back on my life with that lens. I really didn´t know shit.
Anyway, I recommend going every day. I think you should be very proud of what you´ve done thus far. Don´t ever rest on your laurels though man. You don´t necessarily need to go to an in-person meeting. Just open your laptop and take in a one hour meeting at some poiont in your day. I work two jobs and I still find time to go 5 days a week. I´m not flexing, I´m saying, I´m very busy, lazy and disorganized, but I manage to do it, so you can too.
An hour a day is nothing, You should feel proud of yourself for taking the first steps. Now fully immerse yourself in your program, whether SMART, 12 steps or a mixture. I attend a Buddhist group called Refuge Recovery. There are so many different ones out there, everyone can find a place.
Good job man. Keep up the good work. Always move away from isolation and toward connection.
Heroin; Opiates in general, had weakened me to the point that the idea of getting out of the hot shower and experiencing the cold air on my skin caused me to freeze with trepidation. Should I get out, should I stay in? Maybe another 10 seconds, maybe another 30, no, you´re weak, get out now, but I can´t. 15 minutes goes by and you realize that a simple, every day task is enough to break you with anxiety.
Again, you can look at this as strength or weakness. We all had to overcome these thiings. Nobody threw me a ticker tape parade for getting out of the shower. Furthermore, most people see getting clean in general as ¨what you´re supposed to do anyway¨; not worthy of praise in any respect.
I am very happy @Troppo
Believe me, when I was 20 years old and had just joined Bluelight, I was never discussing the values of a ¨program¨. I had a mostly nihlist view of life in general and using Heroin helped me maintain that general feeling of apathy toward everything.
Mark Twain said something like, ¨when I was 13 my parents became stupid, when I turned 20 they became smart again¨. That is so simplistic, but I look back on my life with that lens. I really didn´t know shit.
Anyway, I recommend going every day. I think you should be very proud of what you´ve done thus far. Don´t ever rest on your laurels though man. You don´t necessarily need to go to an in-person meeting. Just open your laptop and take in a one hour meeting at some poiont in your day. I work two jobs and I still find time to go 5 days a week. I´m not flexing, I´m saying, I´m very busy, lazy and disorganized, but I manage to do it, so you can too.
An hour a day is nothing, You should feel proud of yourself for taking the first steps. Now fully immerse yourself in your program, whether SMART, 12 steps or a mixture. I attend a Buddhist group called Refuge Recovery. There are so many different ones out there, everyone can find a place.
Good job man. Keep up the good work. Always move away from isolation and toward connection.
