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Septsober - The September gettn and stayn sober thread

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Thanks trip :) <3

Day 26 and my appt. is today. I feel like I'm drowning in anxiety. I don't know what this fear is. I guess the fear of having no control. If only I understood anxiety and then I could overcome it.
 
I think anxiety is a really uncomfortable emotion that is there to make you feel uncomfortable until you identify and change something in your life. it telling you that there is something that needs to identified and changed. Is it generalized anxiety?


EDIT: man I love exercise..
Tennis-5.jpg
 
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I agree with what neversickanymore is saying... that anxiety is something that's there to tell you that something in your life needs to change. I used to have THE WORST anxiety ever and thought I would never be able to manage it without benzos or opiates. I was never addicted to benzos, but I did have a prescription for them at one point, and whenever I'd have a bad anxiety attack I'd take one under the false assumption that there was no other way to manage the symptoms. So it's not much of a surprise that my anxiety never went away, I was just masking it. That is until I stopped using benzos, and subsequently opiates (the reason I stopped my benzo script... didn't "need" them anymore once heroin entered the picture), to manage my anxiety and started getting to the root of WHAT was making me anxious.

The answer isn't always apparent, but I can pretty much guarantee you that there is an underlying cause. The nice thing about anxiety is that even though it makes you feel out of control, in reality you actually have way more control over it than you think :) That, or you're mistaking another emotion for anxiety. Like for me, I have a hard time distinguishing between anxiety and impatience. I'm better at it now, but before, I'd be waiting for a call or a text or for something to happen... and I'd think I was just feeling anxious... when actually it was just me being impatient, and all I had to do was have a little bit of understanding that I just needed to give things time - not everything can always be about instant gratification.

So my best advice would be to examine each area of your life carefully and pay VERY close attention to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Cuz once you can identify that, you can start taking steps to either fix it, make it better, or simply accept it, depending on the situation. :)

Anyway, this week keeps getting better and better. I have been noticing a huge amount of synchronicity in my life this week, like so much that it's almost ridiculous lol. And it's all happening in an area of my life that I've been putting A LOT of dedication and intention into... so... law of attraction ftw, no joke haha that shit is real!!
 
I think anxiety is a really uncomfortable emotion that is there to make you feel uncomfortable until you identify and change something in your life. it telling you that there is something that needs to identified and changed. Is it generalized anxiety?

I can't tell is there a difference between generalized anxiety and just anxiety?


I agree with what neversickanymore is saying... that anxiety is something that's there to tell you that something in your life needs to change. I used to have THE WORST anxiety ever and thought I would never be able to manage it without benzos or opiates. I was never addicted to benzos, but I did have a prescription for them at one point, and whenever I'd have a bad anxiety attack I'd take one under the false assumption that there was no other way to manage the symptoms. So it's not much of a surprise that my anxiety never went away, I was just masking it. That is until I stopped using benzos, and subsequently opiates (the reason I stopped my benzo script... didn't "need" them anymore once heroin entered the picture), to manage my anxiety and started getting to the root of WHAT was making me anxious.

The answer isn't always apparent, but I can pretty much guarantee you that there is an underlying cause. The nice thing about anxiety is that even though it makes you feel out of control, in reality you actually have way more control over it than you think :) That, or you're mistaking another emotion for anxiety. Like for me, I have a hard time distinguishing between anxiety and impatience. I'm better at it now, but before, I'd be waiting for a call or a text or for something to happen... and I'd think I was just feeling anxious... when actually it was just me being impatient, and all I had to do was have a little bit of understanding that I just needed to give things time - not everything can always be about instant gratification.

So my best advice would be to examine each area of your life carefully and pay VERY close attention to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Cuz once you can identify that, you can start taking steps to either fix it, make it better, or simply accept it, depending on the situation. :)

Anyway, this week keeps getting better and better. I have been noticing a huge amount of synchronicity in my life this week, like so much that it's almost ridiculous lol. And it's all happening in an area of my life that I've been putting A LOT of dedication and intention into... so... law of attraction ftw, no joke haha that shit is real!!


I read a thing recently about the rats and morphine study which I identified with a lot (it doesn't have to be about opiates I can identify with it about any drug/addiction really): It's not the morphine, it's the size of the cage

Basically someone did a study where they gave rats (who were contained alone in small cages morphine for something like 56 days to establish dependency/addiction) and then gave them a pump I'm assuming 2 water bottles 1 laced with morphine and one regular water. The rats chose the morphine water.

Then someone did another study to disprove this by again administering it for 56 days but instead of confining them in small cages and isolation they provided the rats with other rats, the ability to mate, a stimulating environment. This person found the rats chose the plain water and enjoyed doing rat things instead (though for a short time they experienced WD effects). Which reinforces in my head that a person who feels alone/isolated/missing something will turn to a drug but if given an enriching environment will choose the environment instead.

I can identify a lot of things in my life that cause anxiety. I moved to a new state (no real life friends). I miss my parents and visiting them, I think that is a big cause of my anxiety as well. That tied in with suddenly becoming a homeowner and having all of these responsibilities is overwhelming. I feel as though if those things were fixed I would be able to progress so much better.

Identifying is hard, I think I'm beginning to identify the problems but I have yet to know the solutions to them. Acceptance may be what I have to do.

Thank you guys for those responses :) <3
 
Love that rat study.. I think it makes a lot of sense.

Just checking in. Doing well. Feeling the same as before. Quite content with life right now.

No time to be bored lately. Boredom is a trigger.
 
Thanks so much for posting the study=D

EDIT: I dont point this out to attack the article or the study.. its findings are amazing and dont hinge on this incorrect statement so just to point a little mistake in the article so when we talk about this we know.. "We all learned this in DARE class. About the rats in a cage who can self-administer morphine who get addicted to the stuff, and then just hit that lever until they die." The thing they are referring to was an experiment where an electrode was attached to a rats brain and every time the rat pushed on a lever it received a electric stimulation to the pleasure center and was not self administering morphine.. It produced and effect more similar to a very strong stimulant rush.. and yeah the rats literally pushed the lever two time a second ignoring their babies, food, and water until many died of exhaustion.

I guess by generalized I was referring to pretty much constant anxiety.. compared to more of a specific anxiety like social anxiety.. also since im off the benzos I have significantly less anxiety but so many things have changed with me.. the drugs, professions, how I think and percieve life, how much less seriously I take life.. But i also noticed in the good things about getting off drugs thread that allot of people list significantly less anxiety.. kinda funny that one of the main reasons allot of us thought we liked drugs and we all have so much less off the drugs.. wonder if when we take the benzos if the gaba system has tolerance just like the dopamine system just allot less pronounced.. thus after we take the benzos if it just doesn't increase or anxiety up to compensate for the drug and thus make us more anxious all the time..

Your system will return to normal after a bit.. kicking benzos Is hard rite.. your doing great Hero<3
 
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Can we do a study on neversickanymore and the tunnel thing? I'm thinking there's got to be something up with tunnels. Maybe I have a phobia of tunnels...huh...I am gonna look that one up!

luv you neversickanymore and keep the tunnels up!!!
 
Well here it is...

It generally falls under Claustrophobia or as Agoraphobia, which is not the fear of open spaces (as is the common misconception). Agoraphobia is defined as the fear of being in a place that is hard to get help in and escape from. Fears of lifts, tunnels and small rooms come under this.

http://www.phobialist.com/

I'm totally agoraphobic.
 
Thanks alien=D=D=D.. so good to see you.. no really<3<3<3

cow+abduction+lamp.jpg


You are almost to the light at the end of all the tunnels.. the pain intervention dr I saw and explored this concept with stated that the opiat receptors shut down a little after seven and a half months.. plus it pushes hard again right before it's done, just like before but in as different context.. although mine turned off a little before this at about 4.75 months I now for a fact that it pushed really hard for me at the end and I almost gave up.. that would have been the worst mistake in my life.. you're totally right alien just a little more patience...








lighttunnel.jpg












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24 more mostly enjoyable hours down.. =D<3





 
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The weekend is getting closer and I'm starting to obsess over the thought of using speed :-/
Hope I can ditch this stupid idea
 
Love that rat study.. I think it makes a lot of sense.

Just checking in. Doing well. Feeling the same as before. Quite content with life right now.

No time to be bored lately. Boredom is a trigger.

That's awesome. Keep yourself busy man!!

Thanks so much for posting the study=D

EDIT: I dont point this out to attack the article or the study.. its findings are amazing and dont hinge on this incorrect statement so just to point a little mistake in the article so when we talk about this we know.. "We all learned this in DARE class. About the rats in a cage who can self-administer morphine who get addicted to the stuff, and then just hit that lever until they die." The thing they are referring to was an experiment where an electrode was attached to a rats brain and every time the rat pushed on a lever it received a electric stimulation to the pleasure center and was not self administering morphine.. It produced and effect more similar to a very strong stimulant rush.. and yeah the rats literally pushed the lever two time a second ignoring their babies, food, and water until many died of exhaustion.

I guess by generalized I was referring to pretty much constant anxiety.. compared to more of a specific anxiety like social anxiety.. also since im off the benzos I have significantly less anxiety but so many things have changed with me.. the drugs, professions, how I think and percieve life, how much less seriously I take life.. But i also noticed in the good things about getting off drugs thread that allot of people list significantly less anxiety.. kinda funny that one of the main reasons allot of us thought we liked drugs and we all have so much less off the drugs.. wonder if when we take the benzos if the gaba system has tolerance just like the dopamine system just allot less pronounced.. thus after we take the benzos if it just doesn't increase or anxiety up to compensate for the drug and thus make us more anxious all the time..

Your system will return to normal after a bit.. kicking benzos Is hard rite.. your doing great Hero<3

Very interesting stuff about the rats, thanks for clarifying that NSA. Honestly from how you explain it, it seems as though I have generalized anxiety now. Before taking benzos I had it occasionally throughout the day usually triggered by something. Do you think once I'm off them it will turn from generalized back to occasional which I should be able to at that point identify and handle? I hope =D And thanks nsa <3 The support has been unbelievably helpful through all this, from you and from everyone <3. I wouldn't be able to do this alone.

The weekend is getting closer and I'm starting to obsess over the thought of using speed :-/
Hope I can ditch this stupid idea

trip, you are strong buddy, don't give in! Don't put yourself in a situation. Stay at home and draw (me a tripped tripnotyzm papillon avatar :P ;) ). But seriously! Be strong I know that feeling of an upcoming event that will possibly involve a drug, especially a DOC and a setting for that DOC. Just be strong. I will be here to talk that night if you need it. Anything to get you through it!

Day 41

Insomnia.

Weed/meth/porn withdrawal blows.

I suspect it's mostly the weed and porn.

<3 Keep it going strong buddy.


Much love to everybody!!! This month is going good for everyone. We need strength in numbers lets keep it going!!!! <3
 
Adlib is still around :) see the dark side!
Hope you're doing well mate.
It's been a bit rainy here too. Pretty nice and lush I think
 
^^congrats. Been a while since I popped into SL and figured id say hi. I have a bit over 20 months now and 3 weeks nicotine/tobacco free today. Keep at it my friends. Seems just like yesterday Octsober was going on. Best of luck and wishes to everyone. You always have a choice, just for today stay clean.
 
^^congrats. Been a while since I popped into SL and figured id say hi. I have a bit over 20 months now and 3 weeks nicotine/tobacco free today. Keep at it my friends. Seems just like yesterday Octsober was going on. Best of luck and wishes to everyone. You always have a choice, just for today stay clean.

Thanks :)

Hella cool about the 20 months free of cigs! I figure I"ll mention that as well but I'm 8 months on the 21st clean of tobacco/cigarettes.

Just for today :) <3
 
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