Don't
@chinup... Hang in there. I'm sorry you don't feel well. You know the cravings come in cycles. We are just so used to fixing unpleasant feelings and experiences with chemicals. It is our brains default setting but this will pass.
Using would just immediately reignite those cravings. Those pathways are already hard wired. It always finds a back door in and before you know it you've lost everything. I traveled this road many times. I had over a year and fell.
Life has ups and downs but we don't have to use. It is never the solution. To borrow an AA saying... "There is nothing a drink couldnt make worse."
You are a beacon of light in this thread.... Lady of light to be precise
It's selfish but I need you. I feel like you are a friend and your influence and success means so much to me. I love you because as an addict I know you so well. It would truly break my heart if you stumbled. I cheer you on and in doing so I am inspiring my self forward..... Virtual HUGS sweetheart.
Hey CH... Hang in there buddy. I was diagnosed with PTSD and I suffer with quickly shifting mood swings. I have always hid it and projected confidence, while wearing a happy mask but t Iv started to get more in tune and real with myself. I no longer run from those feelings and if learned to sit with them and view them objectively. I am much better at coping than I was in the past. Same goes to you buddy. I need and love you. You walked the path and showed others the way. Life can kick our ass sometimes and your going through so much but things can change so quickly when we are ready. Hang in there. You have come so far.
I got payed today and treated myself to a little gabapentin. Still not sleeping and it really affected me today. I don't know if Im ready to be completely clean. I just know what I can and can't do.
I'm waiting on LSD I'm supposed to receive next week. It has honestly been instrumental in my personal growth and recovery. I don't plan on stopping psychedelic s anytime soon. I am actually planning a South American Ayahuasca retreat and kicking myself for not doing it on my 2 trips to Columbia. Instead I spent all the time I wasnt site seeing with hookers drinking, smoking pot, popping pharm pills and consuming copious amounts of cheap blow. It was debauchery to an extreme.
I'm so happy to be where I am in life. It's been a tough road but I wouldn't change my experiences for anything because they have made me who I am and I love that person today..
Love you guys.