Seeking help to overcome my addiction to Meth

[needmethhelp]

8? My name is Allison. I will be 38 in 2 weeks. I am a single mom of 3...they are 17, 14 and 11. I have bipolar disorder, PTSD, borderline personality disorder and socialized anxiety disorder. I began using pain killers as an escape at 15 and in my early 20's I went on to shooting heroin and snorting powder cocaine. I added on crack and soon was arrested with heroin and powder. I was sent to 28 day jail treatment then drug court for 2 years. I relapsed after and had to go to rehab 2 more times but finally got clean for 4 years. My meds stopped working and I became suicidal about a year ago. I was introduced to meth and the first time I fell in love. I literally had an orgasm the second I shot it. At first I only shot once every few days. then on to once a day, twice a day....and so on. I ended up at about a gram a day or more and barely got anything out of it. I was having sex so recklessly. My paranoia was outrageous. I admitted myself into the psych ward 3 times between last June and last month. I went all of a week when i got out. I just cant handle the withdrawal. Please can someone give me some advice on anything that may help before I lose my kids and everything that means anything to me? Please....

 

[Tweek420]

I just recently learned to kick my meth habit. First you (of course) have to want to quit, because saying you want to and actually wanting to in your heart are 2 completely different things. And you have to do it for yourself, not for anyone else, because I learned that that shit don't work. After I decided it was time to stop, I just cut off all Ties to the dope: people, places, neighborhoods, etc. It's a hard task but it works. I myself am not 100% clean by any means. I Still Drink, smoke Pot, Take pain pills from time to time, hell I even do dope every now and then, All that. Its about gaining self control more than anything. I think the hardest part about me thinking about quitting the dope was thinking, damn, I'm going to have to be sober for the rest of my life?? Fuck that lol (I thought to myself).... anyway, just sharing what worked for me. Hope this helps. Good luck girl

 

[Tweek420]

P.S. if the withdrawal is what you can't handle, get you some good weed, and just get stoned until the withdrawal is complete. Marijuana is a miracle drug.

 

[needmethhelp]

I have smoked some good weed with my boyfriend. It has helped but I get so hungry and gaining weight makes my depression horrible. It's a vicious cycle. Thank you.

 

[needmethhelp]

Tweek420 I'm so glad to know someone else can't imagine going the rest of their lives without using any drugs. I don't feel normal without them, I look at happy people and think what the fuck are they on?

 

[Tweek420]

Girl don't ever feel like you're alone, every addict is scared if being sober the rest of their lives, that's why they don't want to get clean lol. Ever willingly gone to an NA meeting? I'm not saying that going there will keep you Clean ( I've been going to them since 2012 and still ain't clean lol) BUT that's where I go when I start to feel alone. Everyone there automatically has something in common with you, being an addict that's trying to quit the shit and get their life together. And those "happy" people you speak of, aren't really as happy as they appear to be. Everyone has bullshit going on in their lives, some people like you and I like to get high when times get tough and other people are blessed to be able to simply deal with life as it comes. That's a huge thing for me, I'm like oh poor me my life sucks, or my husband yelled at me today, some asshole cut me off in traffic and ruined my day, so I'm going to get high now. But all those things are merely excuses to get high. I hope you have someone around you that's going to call you out on your shit when you try to make excuses, because you will do it lol. Anyway I'm sorry if I'm rambling, i just woke up a little bit ago so my mind isn't all there yet lol. And I apologize for the late response. Though I do not know you, I have faith in you. You can do it. Stay strong

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I didn't have a hard time stopping my meth use - but I understand how you feel.

Do you have anyone who can support you getting clean? Parents maybe?

I would delete and block #'s from your phone. I would also consider moving away from where you are if your dealer is in close proximity or you know how to track them down.