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scared after lsd month ago

Hey Sam,

I'm sorry to hear about your experience - which is particularly unfortunate as LSD can be one of the most enlighting, cleansing, refreshing and renewing of all the psychedelic experiences. I have taken thousands of doses of Acid over the decades, and a few times I *completely* lost my mind. The most severe experience was similar to yours. I had flashbacks for many, many months (you can read about the experience within this post - but it's a long post - you might find it too much to read the whole thing http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=445374).

It was in fact this experience that got me into LSD so seriously as I felt I either could never take it again - or I needed to face my fear and understand what happened to me. It took me a *full* year before I was no longer afraid, and felt that I had completely healed - and I did LSD a number of times during this year (at least 20). Each time I felt I was a little closer to being whole again. The experience itself was the *ultimate* bad trip - so devastating that I lost my memory - completely - in the middle of it. Total amnesia on acid.

Anyway - where I am going with this is that the one thing that I discovered is that while LSD is an incredibly powerful psychological drug, it is, as far as I know (and I am *very* experienced), physically harmless. LSD cannot damage your brain permanently - but sometimes we forget how powerful our brains are - and what our imaginations and fear can put us through. I know in getting over my flashbacks - which were debilitating at the time - part of the solution was getting the confidence to stop being afraid of what had happened to me - *knowing* that the sensations were not real and learning to trust that.

No matter how horrifying and annihilating the experience was for you - it is now just a memory - one that you have to learn to live with and as someone else said earlier - accept as an 'accident' that happened to you. Try to really believe that you have not been physically harmed by this - given the amount of LSD that I have taken over 30 years, I can guaranatee you that it really can't physically injure you.

Something worht consideing very seriously though, was mentioned by a few others in here - very delicately. Do you perhaps have any form of genetic mental illnes in your family? Because while LSD is generally quite tolerable by most - given its profound psychological nature, it *is* possible that it triggered some latent mental condition in you. If this is the case, perhaps seeking psychiatric help might be beneficial to you (although I personally have an innate mistrust of psychiatrists).

I agree with the other comments in that I think that this experience is likely to fade into the background as time goes on - and bear in mind that these other effects - the repetition - could well be something unconnected to the LSD experience - but which your fear is connecting it to.

I have made several posts - pretty much all to do with extremely bizarre - almost insane experiences. Perhaps reading them will help to reassure you that you can undergo experiences like this, and fully recover. I really have been there - way over the edge - several times - but I have always recovered - and grown from the experiences, and at almost 50 years old, with thousands of doses of LSD, Psilocibin, DMT, MDMA and other drugs under my belt - I feel that I have recovered from any and all of the negative experiences that I have had - and I remain quite, quite sane (well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.. :-)

If there is anything that I can share with you that would ease your concern - I am always happy to share anything useful.

Peace,

tmp

I'm so glad you posted this here man. I will just tell you this here since the original thread has a million posts.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write your experience man. Not too many people would've done that. The only drugs I've ever done is mdma,nitrous and weed. (although I never really smoke week.) But I really enjoy reading peoples experiences on drugs ESPECIALLY psychedlics (I'm dying to try some). I've tried the whippets a few times myself and was pretty disappointed when you told me there not as good as they were years ago.

My first time trying whippets was around 5 years ago. A friend had me try 1 of his and I was amazed. It was 5 a.m. and I drove my silly ass all the way to wal-mart to purchase 10 more. I realised after about 6 cans the feeling is no where near as intense. And like the other guy said, I almost felt like a headache would be kicking in soon if I didn't stop. So now if I do get any whippets, (which is almost never) I'll buy 3 and enjoy those next few amazing minutes I'm going to have. After reading your thread, though, I'm off to wal-mart to pick up a few things and you better believe some whippets will be put on the list!
 
I'm so glad you posted this here man. I will just tell you this here since the original thread has a million posts.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write your experience man. Not too many people would've done that. The only drugs I've ever done is mdma,nitrous and weed. (although I never really smoke week.) But I really enjoy reading peoples experiences on drugs ESPECIALLY psychedlics (I'm dying to try some). I've tried the whippets a few times myself and was pretty disappointed when you told me there not as good as they were years ago.

My first time trying whippets was around 5 years ago. A friend had me try 1 of his and I was amazed. It was 5 a.m. and I drove my silly ass all the way to wal-mart to purchase 10 more. I realised after about 6 cans the feeling is no where near as intense. And like the other guy said, I almost felt like a headache would be kicking in soon if I didn't stop. So now if I do get any whippets, (which is almost never) I'll buy 3 and enjoy those next few amazing minutes I'm going to have. After reading your thread, though, I'm off to wal-mart to pick up a few things and you better believe some whippets will be put on the list!

Hey - thanks for the comment. I had found a place online that claimed to have the highest quality pure NO2 (clearly they knew what rthe market was, but I forget the anme now - something like 'easy whip' but that's not it. I will track it donw. I just found another called "purewhip" that makes the same claim.

I used to use ISO for years - but they changed the formula over two years ago - along with the other brand oin the local stores. What I find with these is that they start OK - but for me niotrous is an ever expanding experience where each hit builds upon the last. Every so often you reach a Peak and have a blinding exstatic euphiric revelation in which the meaning of the universe all becomes crystal clear - a bit like sitting in God's throne for a moment - understanding absolutely everything. I have always found this insight ot be hilarious (hhence the laugh in laughing gas) and usually end up in a fit of uncontrollable hysterics. But one leveled out, I can start again - and round two has similar characteristics to round one, only it is being build on a preexisting platform, so the insights - while a repetition of round one - are even deeper - and so on.

With the crap in the stores now - after about 3 hits it goes no further, no matter how much you do - and I find I get a headache, and most importantly very disappointed.

So I finally have a bit of cash and want to order some online - and hope with all my heart that I can get the real thing - which goes 10 takesas far and takes you way deeper. I will most definitely start posting again - as the most uncvanny aspect of nitrous is that while the detail of the momories fade really rapidly when you come down and usually you can only remember a few of the points and none of the sunstance - when you do nitrous the next time, all thememories come flooding back, and sometimes after as little as a few hits - I am back in the space I was in before - and the mysteries are revealed again.

I think that it is the consistency of these memories, and the fact they always make the same kind of sense - that had me finally take the leap of faith that I was unable to prove in any scientific way - and that is that the Nitrous experience is valid. It is not just random hall;ucination (despite the dreamlike quality). There is knowledge within Nitrous - old knowledge - intriosic universal knowledge. Even back in the 1800's it was acknowledged that Nitrous provided a truesense of the deeper connection of all things.

I spent much of my life documenting this, and trying to draw a coherent picture of the nature of this truth. I did not complete my work - owing to my abuse and subsequent brain damage from the nitrous. But I am older and wiser now, and my life is full enough that I will not go using Nitrous as a means to escape unhappiness, but rather as a psych-spiritual tool exclusively. I figure once a month is a safe practive for me - and those times can be big oones (maybe 6 - 10 boxes) which I can make to last several hours if I do it on top of acid.

Speaking of which - one final point - if you are going to do Gascid (Nitrous on acid) do *not* do the nitrous for at *least* 4 hours after dropping the acid (dose dependant). On a mild dose of acid, starting the nitrous after 4 - 5 hours is probably good if you have alot of notrous. If you have less nitrous I would wait abit longer. On a strong dose of acid (say 200 - 300mcg) don;t start the nitrous till at least the 6th hour.

The reason for this is that acid by nature deconstructs your psyche, and then reconstructs it - minus the flotsuym and jetsum bullshit - like a mental enema. If you do the nitrous *before* the reconstruction is properly uner way, then the nitrous experiences will be incomplete - and when the NO2 rund out - it will likely be at the exact point that yuou should have *started* taking it.

Even waiting until 8 hours can be perfect - as by then the 'trip' part of the acid is alomost over - everythig has resolved into acid clarity, but all of the physical and visual stuff is still there. personally I find this the very best time to do it - aslong as the dose of the acid was strong enough.

And now I am *really* hanging to do some NO2 again. It's been years and it's the most important psychedelic synergy in my life.

Be well - don't overdo it

tmp
 
Incredible. Please explain how something like that happened? What's the story behind that one?

Yeah - I'll second that question. According to Peter Stafford's Psycehedelics encyclopedia, the biggest dose of acid ever taken was 40 mg - sniffed inadvertantly by a chemist who believe it to be cocaine (that's like 400 100mcg doses). He was supposedly in a coma for 3 days, after which he made a full recovery.

I'd be intereste to hear the subjective effects of a dose so powerful (several mg). Did you trip in the standard way - or did it become something else?

tmp
 
^ There is also a report of someone who thought crystal LSD was methamphetamine and injected something ridiculous like 320 mg. 320,000 micrograms! Only LSD overdose that I know of.
 
I repeat everything I heard said all the time about a second after each word is said. I thought it was a normal way of comprehending and remembering what's said. It gets "louder" the closer I'm trying to listen to something (like the big reveal at the end of a mystery movie). It never really bothers me, so if it keeps happening you'll probably get used to it. I think it probably happens all the time we just don't pay attention to it usually. Tripping just increased the volume so now you notice it.
 
I actually must addmy 2c worth here. I *also* experience this phenomena of things repeating - wither that said by others or my own voice/thougts. AT time it has bothered me and even had me concerned - other times it's just like a background noise. I agree that this probably happens all the time - but we're just not aware of it. Then something happens to draw it to your attention, adn suddenly it's there - ongoing.

I know that I had several DMT experinces where i could hear an echo of everthig I said - quite uncanny. Like I would say "One" and about 250 milliseconds later would quite literally hear the word "one"being repeated to me in my own voice. This would somewtimes last fro a few minutes. Not just haring a thought - but actually hearing it with my ears. I have some theries on this that relate to the nature of time - but that's another tangent for another day.

I just found it interestingthat this happens to me - and yet I have not really brought the cxonsciousness of htis to my attention until reading these posts.

tmp
 
Silly Sam it sounds like you had a blast, I don't understand what's the issue that's not called a bad trip it's called some good shit. LSD mixed with some MK ULTRA CHRONIC, let me self experiment, hehehe.
 
I actually must addmy 2c worth here. I *also* experience this phenomena of things repeating - wither that said by others or my own voice/thougts. AT time it has bothered me and even had me concerned - other times it's just like a background noise. I agree that this probably happens all the time - but we're just not aware of it. Then something happens to draw it to your attention, adn suddenly it's there - ongoing.

I know that I had several DMT experinces where i could hear an echo of everthig I said - quite uncanny. Like I would say "One" and about 250 milliseconds later would quite literally hear the word "one"being repeated to me in my own voice. This would somewtimes last fro a few minutes. Not just haring a thought - but actually hearing it with my ears. I have some theries on this that relate to the nature of time - but that's another tangent for another day.

I just found it interestingthat this happens to me - and yet I have not really brought the cxonsciousness of htis to my attention until reading these posts.

tmp

Please elaborate on your theories and how they relate to the nature of time. Always intrigued by the interesting theories that come to mind when on psychedelics, or from the integration of psychedelic experiences.
 
I had found a place online that claimed to have the highest quality pure NO2

I know its probably just a typo, but for harm-reduction's sake I'll take a second to make a note:

Nitrous oxide is N2O, while NO2 is nitrogen dioxide, a very toxic gas.

Always make doubly sure you're acquiring the correct one, people! Stay safe. :)
 
I know its probably just a typo, but for harm-reduction's sake I'll take a second to make a note:

Nitrous oxide is N2O, while NO2 is nitrogen dioxide, a very toxic gas.

Always make doubly sure you're acquiring the correct one, people! Stay safe. :)

Got me! You are of course quite right. And it was odd, as when I typed it it looked wrong - must have been a moment of dyslexia. But good to point it out. Definitely don't want to disseminate bad information.

I stand corrected.

:-))
TMP
 
A Brief Story of TIME...

Please elaborate on your theories and how they relate to the nature of time. Always intrigued by the interesting theories that come to mind when on psychedelics, or from the integration of psychedelic experiences.

Ooh - this is probably the biggest metaphysical thread that exists for me (the other being infinity). I could actually write an entirely separate thread on Time - several threads - a book, really. I'm working on my first at the moment (book) so Time will have to wait until I have more of it.

Time... it's *Huge* - the topic. I *can't* really write a short response - although I will try to zoom in on the thought that specifically pertains to what I wrote about the 'echo' on DMT.

It's important to point out that I don't believe in time. Time, as Douglas Adams put it (or was it Stephen Hawking), is something that we humans invented to explain the fact that everything does not all happen in the same place at the same time - else we would all just go mad.

However, I actually believe that everything *does* all happen in the same place at the same time - and this statement alone would take pages and pages and pages of context to have it make any kind of sense.

Obviously I have to accept time as a reality in order to function in the real world, or I'd *really* piss people off a lot. I also have two very distinct postures in terms of expressing most of my psycho-spiritual beliefs.

On the one hand I look at things from the perspective of a corporeal sentient mammal - a being that has a beginning and an end - is born and dies - believes in time.

On the other hand I look at things from the perspective of an eternal being who was always here and always will be, who does not believe in Time and subscribes to both Richard Alpert's statement "Be Here Now" and my own - "Everything Is Happening".

My personal position subscribes to Einstein's theories of infinte multiple universe's in which every action plays out in every possible combination and configuration, and that every possible combination of every possible outcome actually exists in its own timeline (OK, dammit, I knew this was going to happen - I'm going to have to explain how the universe works, and I have to pull it off in under an hour or I'll burn my dinner).

This means for one, that if we ever find a means to travel in time, then going backwards and changing something in the past is *not* going to have the butterfly effect and ripple forward through time, changing our present - because for one (the obvious one) if we go back in time and change something then that thing was already changed - and the now that is, is the now that always was and will be. All that our action in the past that we travelled to and affected does, is to spawn the first of another infinte thread of potential timelines in which our meddling in the past will be a manifest aspect. Our actions will not affect *this* timeline - which is immutable (given that there is no time and everything that has happened and will happen is in fact just happening) - and our traveling back within it is essentially a pre-determined self-fulfilling prophesy.

So according to this theory of infinite timelines/universe's/whatever - the universe *has* to be static (there is no time) - and rather than our journeys as we perceive them (temporal and linear) being either the passage of time flowing by us - or we moving through the passage of time - we are instead constantly crossing laterally through these infinite groups of timelines.

The Persian Flaw of this theory - the standard paradox that exists in all things related to time and infinity - is that if there are an *infinite* number of timelines, they could not all have already happened, nor would they be able to at some point already have happended - at least not in a static universe.

But I have no intention of trying to explain the paradox that essentially holds the universe together, without which we really *would* all go mad (if for the sake of understanding anything I am trying to say, we pretend for the moment that time *does* exist, and that we have already all gone mad).

But there is a point that I am getting to - and it is the response to the question posed - and it relates to the topic that came up about things repeating - and my mentioning the DMT experiences in which I could hear an actual echo of something that I said out loud - and that this echo seemed to have a fixed amount of time elapse before it repeated.

So from here on it gets a little complicated - and in the hopes of actually being able to finish this thought (which I should not have done before supper) I will adopt the perspective of the corporeal sentient mammal for whom time does exist ( at least supper time does, because I can smell its impending existence in my stomach).

The question that asks itself is this: When is now? As in what is the finite unit of time that can be said to be now - the moment - the point (location) and length of the moment (duration) in which I exist. And when can it be said to have passed from that moment into the next moment.

It was neccessary to have first illustrated the multiverse theory to be able to make this next bit make any sense. I can see the answer - and the point that I am attempting to make so clearly in my mind, but it's tough to explain in words. I will phrase much of this as assumptions. This is not to say that I am stating that I am right, or even that I neccessarily believe any of this to be true, it's just an easier context from which to write.

How I see it is that there is *no* now. If think back of the concept of a 'unit' of time - say the 250 milliseconds it took for my DMT echo to echo - just as a yardstick, then it is not that we live in the moment for 250ms and then enter the next moment - but rather that the moments themselves overlap to some extent. So if you look at yourself at being point zero (where point zero is the 'nowest' that it can be) then a part of us also exists in minus one (the immediate past) and part of us exists in one (the immediate future).

In this model there simply is no absolute 'now'.

To connect this model to the multiverse theory, it can also be considered that as versus traveling forward/backward through time, we are laterally traversing the closest fields of the temporal multiverse, and we could see how our presence in more than one finite moment could directly correlate to our state of existence in the multiverse. This is to say that we exist very briefly in more than one universe at any given moment - as we likewise exist in more than one finite unit of time in any pair of universes in the multiverse.

Relating this to the echo effect that spawned this rampage of drivel, lets take a very brief look at consciousness as it pertains to time (assuming for the moment that it (time) exists). Something happens (the event). When that thing happens we perceive it before we process it. At the moment that we perceive it we have not yet formed a reaction of any kind to it. A similar analogy would be the one of speaking. We think the thought before we say the words that express it. The pure thought - before any brainwork - is the baseline - ground zero. Then before we actually say what we are going to say, we very briefly think the words that we are going to say before we actually say them. This is the second temporal point. Finally we say the words - the expression of the subjective emotional response to the event - the third temporal point.

The same can be said of a reaction. Something happens (the event). We perceive it, but have not yet processed it. This is the first temporal point. Then we feel an emotional response to what has happened. This is the second temporal point. At this stage there is no measurable difference between these two temporal points. In our multiverse construct these two temporal points are each in their own timeline - yet at this stage both timelines are still identical, as any and all difference is perceptual. Then we think the thought that will manifest itself as our reaction - the third temporal point. We have now existed in three separate temporal units, yet nothing is manifest to differentiate between universes. In this case, two new timelines have been spawned, but are currently identical. Finally, we react. - And in this moment - the fourth temporal point - the newly spawned timelines become as unique as the number of possible reactions we could have had. amd we cease existing concurrently in all multiverses and timelines.

What I am trying to get at is that we think of 'now' as being static - but 'now' actually happens before we react to it. And our reacting to it takes more than one unit of time.

If you extrapolate this very simplistic model of units of time, and accept that we inhabit more than one unit at any and all given times, then you can see that we might be in several units of time concurrently, just to a lesser degree, and that each unit of time spawns its own timeline, but two identical timelines will only exist for one unit of time - from perception to reaction, and reaction is the wildcard that can spawn an infinte number of potential new timelines. Each of these new timelines comes as a pair (perception to reaction) - so at every moment in which we exist, we always exist in at least two timelines (universes) and also in at least two units of time concurrently.

This is a little like marrying Newtonian physics with quantum mechanics in that this model operates on both the assumption that time does not exist (and instead there is a non-temporal multiverse), but *also* on the premise that time does exist, but that it is non-finite, and we can and do occupy a minimum of two temporal points almost simultaneously.

And this brings us right back to our starting point - and a highly theoretical and in all probability unlikely explanation of why Sam's been hearing an echo.

So perhaps when we hear our own thoughts or someone else's words repeated, this is because we are a) experiencing a second unit of time overlapping the first, and b) we are briefly simultaneously existing in two different timelines/universes. We are hearing the words a second time because any two adjacent timelines in the multiverse are in every perceivable way identical to one another - and the temporal displacement of existing in both the now and the impending now, allows us to briefly exist in both universes separated solely by a single unit of the temporal present.

I have absolutely no idea if I made any sense of any kind to anyone. Perhaps asking metaphysical questions of me is just a bad idea all round.

If I believed in time I would apologize for having just wasted some of yours...

affectionately,

The Merry Prankster.
 
^ Definitely resonated with me which is why I pressed you to elaborate lol. Gotta love the inherent paradoxical nature of a finite being defining the infinite nature of the universe. I'm glad that others have come to realize the paradoxical nature of reality, presumably with a little help from psychedelics.

I simply think that reality must be a pardox in order for a finite being to perceive it in binary terms. If reality was not a paradox there would be an answer. If there was a definitive answer to the universe it would be absolute. If the universe could be explained in absolute terms it would be static nothingness because if the entire universe was absolute it would be indistinguishable to our mind which works in binary terms. It would exist, but our binary perception would have no way of perceiving it because it would be completely absolute, a black void, a white void, a red void, whatever... without any contrast there would be no way for our finite minds to perceive reality.

It all comes back to the yin-yang. If all of reality was black, it would be nothing to our minds as it would be indistinguishable and likewise if all of reality was white, or red, or maroon it would be nothing as well. Here is one of the fundamental paradoxes. If you take black and white they are both inherently independent as they are opposites. But without white there is no black and vice versa, so they are dependent on the other for the their distinguishable existence through our perception. So they are independently dependent. This is the basis of how we perceive reality. Interestingly these opposites do not work in opposition to one another, but rather in a reciprocal symbiosis. It's rather uplifting to understand the benevolent nature of opposites on the most fundamental level as they do not work in opposition, but rather in symbiosis. This is why the black in the yin-yang has a seed of white and the white has a seed of black. Because they are both extensions of the same uniting force behind existence. Much like you mention that there is no point in time, but all moments blend into eachother. Such is the same with grey matter. Infinite gradient connects everything. We are all one experiencing reality subjectively.

And I agree with your thoughts on time. I'm often found in the depths of a psychedelic experience proclaiming that time perpetuates linearly in circles, simultaneously lol.

The paradoxes go on, change is the only constant, all is one, as above so below, time progresses forwards in circles, opposites work symbiotically, and their is a fine line between a genius and an insaniac!
 
^ Another post I made in the DMT thread was about the value of something within infinity. You can not take a fraction out of infinity, so from one view everything has a value of zero percent. Everything is nothing, as it has no percentage within infinity. With this line of reasoning life is rather bleak and pointless, without meaning. We are nothing and we have no meaning.

From the other perspective without everything within infinity it would cease to be infinite. Therefore everything has never-ending value within infinity. Without every speck of dust within infinity it would cease to be infinite. Therefore we have infinite value within infinity. I subscribe to this notion as it creates a sense of infinite meaning. We are everything and we have infinite meaning.

And both are correct, just different ways to look at it. One is a negative, pessimistic hell. The other is a positive, optimistic utopia. You decide. Heaven and hell are but different perspectives of the same thing. Heaven and hell are the same!

How's that for paradoxes?
 
^ Another post I made in the DMT thread was about the value of something within infinity. You can not take a fraction out of infinity, so from one view everything has a value of zero percent. Everything is nothing, as it has no percentage within infinity. With this line of reasoning life is rather bleak and pointless, without meaning. We are nothing and we have no meaning.

From the other perspective without everything within infinity it would cease to be infinite. Therefore everything has never-ending value within infinity. Without every speck of dust within infinity it would cease to be infinite. Therefore we have infinite value within infinity. I subscribe to this notion as it creates a sense of infinite meaning. We are everything and we have infinite meaning.

And both are correct, just different ways to look at it. One is a negative, pessimistic hell. The other is a positive, optimistic utopia. You decide. Heaven and hell are but different perspectives of the same thing. Heaven and hell are the same!

How's that for paradoxes?

LOL - I really like your logic. I spend a lot of spare thought pondering this stuff. One of my first truly sentient memories was as a kid - looking up at the stars and thinking "how can they go on forever?" It was my first confrontation of probably the fundamental of all paradoxes and truths. My fascination with Time has also been around as long as I can remember - it's always been my favourite genre of science fiction. I love playing with the paradox, because it seems that I get closer and closer to 'figuring it out' - despite the fact that I know it is unoutfigurable. It's funny, because it's pretty much this paradox that holds the whole universe together (much the way our perception of time is what keeps everything making some semblance of sense). But isn;t that odd - something so seemingly simple is unfathomable, and yet it is this simple, yet unfathomable truth is the very thing that makes everything else make sense. I guess that means that if the fundamental premise holding all things together is not real, then absolutely everything that we think we know about everything has to be completely wrong. The only possible answer is that both are right (also embodied in Yin/Yang) and that Heaven and Hell have no choice but to be the same thing.

I found my answer about 15 years ago. I'd been thinking it all the wrong way round. I was thinking macro when I should have been thinking micro. It's a lot easier to wrap your brain around an infinity that keeps getting smaller than it is an infinite largeness. I was introduced to Fractals by a mathematician friend of mine in Ontario. I must assume that you are familiar with the Mandelbrot Set, given your obvious bent in this direction. The mandelbrot set is, among other things, a mathematical model of infinity - but unique in its nature, in which the 'shape' of the set is found everywhere within it, but each instance slightly different to the last. This model very much goes hand in hand with my description of the multiverse. I found that by playing with the math, you could change the 'universal constant' of the set, and render it in every possible permutation of its shape. I was one of the first people making fractal animations, and discovered that by animating this manipulation of the 'seed', it was possible to observe forces in motion - identical in behaviour to the force of gravity in our own universe. I cite the Mandelbrot set as being "smaller than a breadbox - and bigger than the universe" as where matter breaks down at the subatomic level, mathematics does not - and it is possible to observe true infinity in motion without the paradox ever becoming blurred to the extent that it no longer makes sense.

In order to accomplish what I wanted, I had to pretty much write my own software to interface an Fractal program that could render single images, but not automatically save and manipulate these images. I'm a musician, and I wanted to use the Mandelbrot set as my palette to paint psychedelic videos to my own music. Given the technological and software limitations of the time, the project of making my first fractal video took, including the composition and recording of the music, two years from conception to completion. It was at the time, without any question, the most detailed exploration of the Mandelbrot set in existence. Three years ago I made Chaotic Energy, using state of the art computers and software, and while the difference is totally noticeable, "CHAOS" - my original video - still stands out as a masterpiece.

Given this exchange of messages, I choose to share with you my alter ego - FractalGod. My work with Fractals says more than I could ever put into words. I have put all of my videos up there - about 20 or so - all choreographed to my own music, except for the currently featured video for which I used a song that was my favourite last year. I suggest watching CHAOS first - and then CHATOC ENERGY(Full) next - to contrast the different stages of technological evolution. Actually the featured video is possibly the most awesome of the lot, but it's the one and only video that does not use my own music. Bear in mind that the online versions do not compare the originals - which are fullscreen, high quality desktop versions. It is hard to fail being impressed by this work, given the nature of the object I was working with - although I like to think that at least a reasonable portion of it is my own artistic talent.

Please do check this out. It makes me a little nervous to expose my real identity on Bluelight, but in this case, I think the connection between our chat and my art is worth the exposure. If you're interested I do have DVD's of the desktop versions available - and feel free to spread the word. I have invested 15 years, and thousands - possibly tens of thousands, of computer hours creating this stuff (mercifully much of the initial sequence creation being automated), You;ll find my channel here:

http://www.youtube.com/fractalgod

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

The vids are all between 2 and 9 minutes long, so it won't suck up your whole day (unless you're on acid, in which case you won't want to do anything other than watch them over and over again.

Enjoy,

TMP
 
Hey Love Sex Desire,

As fascinating as our conversation is - if you want to continue, perhaps we should move it to a more appropriate thread so as not to detract from Silly Sam's need for compassion in this one...

TMP
 
^ Definitely resonated with me which is why I pressed you to elaborate lol. Gotta love the inherent paradoxical nature of a finite being defining the infinite nature of the universe. I'm glad that others have come to realize the paradoxical nature of reality, presumably with a little help from psychedelics.

I simply think that reality must be a pardox in order for a finite being to perceive it in binary terms. If reality was not a paradox there would be an answer. If there was a definitive answer to the universe it would be absolute. If the universe could be explained in absolute terms it would be static nothingness because if the entire universe was absolute it would be indistinguishable to our mind which works in binary terms. It would exist, but our binary perception would have no way of perceiving it because it would be completely absolute, a black void, a white void, a red void, whatever... without any contrast there would be no way for our finite minds to perceive reality.

It all comes back to the yin-yang. If all of reality was black, it would be nothing to our minds as it would be indistinguishable and likewise if all of reality was white, or red, or maroon it would be nothing as well. Here is one of the fundamental paradoxes. If you take black and white they are both inherently independent as they are opposites. But without white there is no black and vice versa, so they are dependent on the other for the their distinguishable existence through our perception. So they are independently dependent. This is the basis of how we perceive reality. Interestingly these opposites do not work in opposition to one another, but rather in a reciprocal symbiosis. It's rather uplifting to understand the benevolent nature of opposites on the most fundamental level as they do not work in opposition, but rather in symbiosis. This is why the black in the yin-yang has a seed of white and the white has a seed of black. Because they are both extensions of the same uniting force behind existence. Much like you mention that there is no point in time, but all moments blend into eachother. Such is the same with grey matter. Infinite gradient connects everything. We are all one experiencing reality subjectively.

And I agree with your thoughts on time. I'm often found in the depths of a psychedelic experience proclaiming that time perpetuates linearly in circles, simultaneously lol.

The paradoxes go on, change is the only constant, all is one, as above so below, time progresses forwards in circles, opposites work symbiotically, and their is a fine line between a genius and an insaniac!

Maybe you know this, but for the chinese white is evil and black is good (yin . yang).

But my point was the following: in a popular creation of our universe theory, there was perfect balance between matter and antimatter. SOme event, at some point, led the universe to unblance itself so that our universe is made mostly of matter.

"The earliest phases of the Big Bang are subject to much speculation. In the most common models, the Universe was filled homogeneously and isotropically with an incredibly high energy density, huge temperatures and pressures, and was very rapidly expanding and cooling. Approximately 10−37 seconds into the expansion, a phase transition caused a cosmic inflation, during which the Universe grew exponentially.[33] After inflation stopped, the Universe consisted of a quark–gluon plasma, as well as all other elementary particles.[34] Temperatures were so high that the random motions of particles were at relativistic speeds, and particle–antiparticle pairs of all kinds were being continuously created and destroyed in collisions. At some point an unknown reaction called baryogenesis violated the conservation of baryon number, leading to a very small excess of quarks and leptons over antiquarks and antileptons—of the order of one part in 30 million. This resulted in the predominance of matter over antimatter in the present Universe."

[35]

From wikipedia, statement which is itself referenced from Kolb and Turner, chapter 6.

So that's my input into it...
 
Maybe you know this, but for the chinese white is evil and black is good (yin . yang).

But my point was the following: in a popular creation of our universe theory, there was perfect balance between matter and antimatter. SOme event, at some point, led the universe to unblance itself so that our universe is made mostly of matter.

"The earliest phases of the Big Bang are subject to much speculation. In the most common models, the Universe was filled homogeneously and isotropically with an incredibly high energy density, huge temperatures and pressures, and was very rapidly expanding and cooling. Approximately 10−37 seconds into the expansion, a phase transition caused a cosmic inflation, during which the Universe grew exponentially.[33] After inflation stopped, the Universe consisted of a quark–gluon plasma, as well as all other elementary particles.[34] Temperatures were so high that the random motions of particles were at relativistic speeds, and particle–antiparticle pairs of all kinds were being continuously created and destroyed in collisions. At some point an unknown reaction called baryogenesis violated the conservation of baryon number, leading to a very small excess of quarks and leptons over antiquarks and antileptons—of the order of one part in 30 million. This resulted in the predominance of matter over antimatter in the present Universe."

[35]

From wikipedia, statement which is itself referenced from Kolb and Turner, chapter 6.

So that's my input into it...

Hey DragonFly,

You seem pretty informed on this subject. I have read a fair bit on it as well (I think Hawking was one of the more detailed description, but a number of years back I recall reading a book - or some of it - called something like "The first 60 seconds" (only it defintely wasn't 60 seconds - could have been 3 minutes - or even 3 seconds - maybe you know th work).

Anyway, what I am wondering here is how accurate and how theoretical is this. Let's forget for the moment that whether time exists or not as it has little relevance in the Big Bang Theory. Let's also forget that even in time exists now, it most certainly did not exist at the formation of the cosmos. Clearly no-one had invented a clock as no-one, mortal or Deity had invented anyone at all - so pretty definitely no-one who could invent a stop-watch, which would have been neccessary to take note of when that guy Barry O Genesis screwed up his recipe and ended up with Quark Soup instead of antileprechauns, muttering to himself 'no matter...'

OK - I know - my quantum humour is pretty cheesy. Oh - that one was OK - but it was accidental.

So sillyness aside - how accurate is the extimation of time passing and universes being born? Given that so much of our science it theoretical and un proven, are we seriously to believe that we can actually attempt with success to define how many seconds it took for utterly unimaginable expansion, convcersion, mutation and all other things ending in "ion".

And how is this hypothesis arrived at. The big bang theory - while extremely plausible, is still, nonetheless, a theory. Can we really, without even knowing for sure whether it actually happened or not, assume to know something like the state of the emergent universe to the accuracy of seconds?

I actually ponder the Big Bang fairly frequently (although I must admit that I am not very well informed on the science, and it seems like yet another of the great - if not the *greatest* paradox - one which I still haven't anywhere near fully grasped - is how so many diffent kinds of atoms and subseuent elements all came from what was predominantly all hydrogen or something. I should probably have read up before writing any of this - bu I think I can still pose the question from a podium of ignorance.

It seems to me like other than the heat and pressure, there was not a lot of variety in the initial matter that diluted into the universe ( I think is was mostly hydrogen). So given that there was nothing outside the expanding universe (as small as it was back then) for it to interact with, break down and form the rest of the atoms needed, where did it come from. Sorry - I know that this is a bit off the point of your post, but I am curious.

Peace,

tmp
 
I take Cid quite regulary and now I have visual patterning when I smoke Cannabis, This first started after my first 2C-E experience.

Do you think there is a connection to Cannabis stimulating effects latent from 2C RC's? Similar to you, after I took 2C-I a couple times, I would get a stimulant sensation that would go along with it. One I've never really had much before, I can concentrate and type a lot better, but I get a body load/racy energy feeling like I'm on 40-50mg of Ritalin/Concerta.

The re-activated symptoms might be different, but I'm pretty sure it is connected to smoking weed. Sometimes I feel so racy, its hard to interact with people, I want to pace and jump from one thing to another.

Anyone else had Cannabis bring up after effects (some time after taking a 2C Research chemical?

The ones I hear most frequently associated are 2C-E and 2C-I.
 
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