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Saying, 'Thank you' after receiving a compliment?

I almost never say thankyou. Even if a friend shouts me a feed, a session, a bus fare or what ever, i just dont. I dunno why.. it just feels wierd, i mean its not like the person doesnt know i am grateful, and saying thanks always just feels so forced. I guess my friends are use to this and thus dont care.. im pretty sure ive explained it to them before.

If its a stranger though, like 'oh hey you dropped your wallet' or i ask for the time and they give it to me, ill say thanks.
 
i generally say thank you if it's something that i had something to do with, ie performance.. but if someone compliments me on an outfit i'll probably say something smart ass like "i know!" because, well, i didn't create it.. i just bought it.

i generally detest being complimented because i hate having to say thank you. i just like being left alone.
 
internet compliments don't bug me.. creepy IRL compliments do which is what i seem to get all the time. it's a face to face thing for me :)
 
Any girls with big boobs ever notice that men always like to point out lint that is on your boobs? My usual response is "uhhhhh, thanks."
 
AmorRoark said:
I honestly don't try to make a big deal out of unimportant formalities. That's might just be me.
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I absolutely do not think 'thank you' is an unimportant formality.

I don't give compliments or gifts because I need social validation, but if it's apparent the person is not grateful (because they don't say thank you or something similar, since that's how most people express gratitude), I will probably think twice about complimenting or gifting again. Not because I'm offended, but because it doesn't make sense to give something that doesn't seem to impart anything positive on the person you're giving it to.

I say thank you only when I mean it sincerely, but I'm not stingy with it because, really, I think there's a lot to be grateful for in our daily interactions with people. Nobody has to say or do anything nice for anyone else, but they do, so if it makes you feel good or helps you out in some way, why not take the second it takes to express gratitude?
 
China Rider said:
People who fire compliments at anyone for very basic things are fishing for manipulation or is trying too hard for social acceptance IMO.
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Or perhaps they have no reason to hate you and thus sincerely see good things about you?

Is that so hard to believe?

I give compliments up and down on an internet forum. I have nothing to gain by manipulating people I never met who are continents away, nor do I have much to gain from "gaining social acceptance" since I'm already "Accepted" here.

I find it appalling how some people mistake sincerity for weakness or manipulation. Much much much appalling than someone responding to a compliment with "thank you", that's for sure... :\

p.s. To tie in to the OP, when I compliment someone, I expect absolutely nothing in return. Whatever reaction they give is good for me. Giving compliments and gifts are in and of themselves fulfilling actions. I feel very sad for people who think of gifts and compliments as business.
 
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Kul69 said:
Seriously, if you live on the east coast how do you finish a conversation when purchasing stuff? I have to know because I think I'm being put on an "eject from store" list at most places. Should I just start being like, "GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK AND DONT STEAL ANY OF IT!" then when they hand it over count it in front of them then quickly look up at them with a cold glare before storming away?
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I've lived in Philly, NYC and now CT and I always say thank you when I get my goods. I've never noticed anyone acting strange because of it.

....

On a somewhat related note, why do some guys refuse to let a girl hold the door open for them? I'll open and hold back the door and often the guy will make a hand gesture for me to walk through the door. I guess they're trying to be polite and have me enter the room first, but it's pretty awkward if I've already opened the door for you. Maybe they just want to look at my ass ;)

Then there are the guys that will allow me to open the door for them but they'll touch the door while walking through as to assert they're completely capable of opening the door themselves.
 
Lysis said:
I tend to get annoyed by things worth getting annoyed over and someone saying "thank you" is not one of them.
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I understand what Arsey is saying.

If someone says I am handsome, should I really say "Thank you?" I didn't do anything. I was born that way. I'd rather someone compliment something I have accomplished or achieved.
 
^ I agree that a compliment that is based on looks alone can feel awkward to say 'thank you' for, however, I still think, as a matter of common courtesy, you should still acknowledge the compliment and say a simple thanks.

I remember reading in some trashy magazine (a compendium of social etiquette 8)) that if someone compliments you the best thing to say is a simple thank you. A lot of people, women in particular, will tend to brush off a compliment and say something self deprecating. eg Someone says, 'great dress' and the person will say, 'oh this old thing? I don't really like it. I think it makes me look fat.' etc The advice was that people need to learn to accept compliments for what they are; a random kindness from a friend or stranger.

I have to ask, for the people that don't like saying 'thank you,' what do you say instead? It would seem strange just to ignore it, and probably make the complimenter feel really awkward.
 
I usually just suck it up and say thank you. But if I can, I will instead tell them something interesting about whatever it is they complimented.
 
Fjones said:
I understand what Arsey is saying.

If someone says I am handsome, should I really say "Thank you?" I didn't do anything. I was born that way. I'd rather someone compliment something I have accomplished or achieved.
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I always say something funny like "Tell me someting I dont know!"

I really hate when people ASK "Do you know how beautiful/smart/etc you are?" Um...yeah? lol
 
SigmaSis03 said:

I absolutely do not think 'thank you' is an unimportant formality.

I don't give compliments or gifts because I need social validation, but if it's apparent the person is not grateful (because they don't say thank you or something similar, since that's how most people express gratitude), I will probably think twice about complimenting or gifting again. Not because I'm offended, but because it doesn't make sense to give something that doesn't seem to impart anything positive on the person you're giving it to.

I say thank you only when I mean it sincerely, but I'm not stingy with it because, really, I think there's a lot to be grateful for in our daily interactions with people. Nobody has to say or do anything nice for anyone else, but they do, so if it makes you feel good or helps you out in some way, why not take the second it takes to express gratitude?
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We need more people with attitudes like THIS. <3

Thank you for this post. :)
 
I see both sides of this argument, and I think its complicated.

Like in SigmaSis03's scenario, what if she compliments or gifts someone and they Aren'T grateful. Then when they don't say 'thanks' she becomes prejudiced against them.

If you think about the layers of manipulation in that 'simple' exchange you can understand why so many people are bugged by the whole thing.

For me, it's three fold. Thank you, I'm sorry, and I forgive you. All three of them are such bullshit, double-think political rubbish. Gratitude shouldn't need a 'beat your dumb ass over the head' level obvious expression like 'thank you' It is straight up indelicate- even among strangers, unless they're completely drunk or on pcp or something. And the same for Sorry and Forgive. We can tell when someone is sorry or when someone holds a grudge, and there is NO correlation between what is said, and the reality of the situation.

But I second guess- Does the fact that I have trouble with this all mean my brain is running a cycle behind everyone else who naturally parses this sort of manipulative political speech? Does it mean I'm a killjoy or overthinker who fu*ks up natural, easy exchanges like Kul69?

The only thing I'm sure of is that Jamyshd's wrong- seeing the way he compliments people, i've never seen someone so desperate to make people like him on an internet forum!

;) =D
 
I got fussed at so much growing up for not saying thank you that now i feel incredibly rude if i don't say thank you......after every compliment......
sometimes i feel awkward about it.....
thinking maybe i shouldn't say thank you.....but then it would eat me up if i didn't.
 
^^ Yep same here. I wouldn't worry about it too much (easier said than done).
If I'm in a situation where I feel that i should say thank you but it feels kinda awkward, I just say a quick "thanks" and move along with the conversation.
Done and dusted :)
 
I agree with everyone in here who is pro "thank you".

But I'm curious, to those who have this thank you problem, what do you say?

On a somewhat related note, why do some guys refuse to let a girl hold the door open for them? I'll open and hold back the door and often the guy will make a hand gesture for me to walk through the door. I guess they're trying to be polite and have me enter the room first, but it's pretty awkward if I've already opened the door for you.
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It's not about logistics it's about being polite I was always raised to ope-
Maybe they just want to look at my ass
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Shit. Busted.
 
Good post, Jamshyd.

I like to give compliments, and I say 'thank you' a lot. I'm big on the niceties and formalities in general, because to me and most people they're more than just routines to go through that mean nothing, far from it. I feel they go a long way in fostering friendliness and kindness between people. Of course, some people are way too extreme about it which is annoying. But if I do something for someone or compliment someone it's nice to get a thanks in return.

To those saying they don't bother with formalities, I 'get it' and have met plenty of people like that, but the fact is that you come off as aloof and a bit of an asshole to the rest of us when you don't bother. And in my experience, these kinds of people are more likely to be legitimate assholes and not just people operating outside the conventions. It's little things that can be reflective of much bigger ones, and that's why I feel simple kind and friendly smiles and words are important.
 
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