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Saying, 'Thank you' after receiving a compliment?

C

China Rider

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 30, 2007
Messages
11,451
Anyone else think this is a retarded social norm?
Not just compliments, but birthdays and holidays as well....
Is this sort of social validation really that important to you people?

Do you get offended if you tell someone they look nice or say something to make another person feel 'special' and they don't return with a thank you?

I don't know, maybe i'm just emotionally cold...
 
If someone pays a compliment, I usually try to tell them something about how I came across whatever they're complimenting. I find "thank you" to be tough to transition from and can kill a conversation.
 
I think it's rude not to say 'thank you.' It's all well and good to claim you think it's unnecessary, but the whole thing about rudeness is it doesn't really matter what you think, it's how you're perceived by the other person in the conversation.

IMO this is just an issue of very basic manners. Why wouldn't you want to say thank you?
 
up all night said:
I think it's rude not to say 'thank you.' It's all well and good to claim you think it's unnecessary, but the whole thing about rudeness is it doesn't really matter what you think, it's how you're perceived by the other person in the conversation.

IMO this is just an issue of very basic manners. Why wouldn't you want to say thank you?
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Agreed.
 
Kyk said:
If someone pays a compliment, I usually try to tell them something about how I came across whatever they're complimenting. I find "thank you" to be tough to transition from and can kill a conversation.
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Well said. I alwaysh ated this, but I could never articulate exactly why.

Also, it irrritates me when people say "thank you" to things that aren't compliments.

This happens a lot in poker. Sometimes KK runs into AA and the guy with KK says, "nice hand." That is not a compliment. Yet the person with AA will often say "thank you." I don't understand this.
 
I dont think I'd ever get irritated if person says "thank you", no matter what. Even in the above poker situation, it just seems like a polite thing he wants to say which is better than keeping quiet or not acknowledging it maybe? :p Not worth it getting annoyed over, IMO.

I honestly don't try to make a big deal out of unimportant formalities. That's might just be me.
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If someone just won my chips at a poker table because he got lucky, and then he says "thank you" to someone who says "nice hand," It annoys me.

The person who said "nice hand" is annoying also, but that is a topic for another thread (one about the stupid and annoying things people do at a poker table).
 
Saying 'Thank You' is showing the person you respect and are grateful for what they have taken the time/energy and said to you. If you didn't say anything in return to the compliment or whatever the conversation entailed, I think that it would insult the person giving you the compliment. I find it as a form of respect for yourself and for others in the most simplest form.
 
Saying 'Thank You' is showing the person you respect and are grateful for what they have taken the time/energy and said to you. I find it as a form of respect for yourself and for others in the most simplest form.
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^I agree wholeheartedly with this part pp <3
 
If I compliment someone and they just say "Yes" or some shit like that it just feels awkward like they don't appreciate or want you to compliment them and it makes me feel less friendly towards them.

I grew up on the west coast of the US and thank you, your welcome, please, etc are all very common there in basically any conversation especially if it's somewhat impersonal like you're talking to a store clerk or whatever.

Now I live on the east coast and when I say thank you if someone helps me in a store or holds a door or whatever they get all weirded out and flustered. It's really strange to me. What the hell do people say on the east coast to close a conversation?

It's gotten to the point that if I pay for something in a store I just take my change and walk away. Every time I say, have a nice day, or thank you, or whatever the person just gets this look like I've stabbed them.

It was so refreshing to go to Los Angeles and Seattle recently where after every fucking conversation I could have a back and forth of thanks, your welcome, have a nice day, you too, etc. Just such a nicer/cleaner way of "finishing" a conversation.

Seriously, if you live on the east coast how do you finish a conversation when purchasing stuff? I have to know because I think I'm being put on an "eject from store" list at most places. Should I just start being like, "GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK AND DONT STEAL ANY OF IT!" then when they hand it over count it in front of them then quickly look up at them with a cold glare before storming away?
 
mariacallas said:
I dont think I'd ever get irritated if person says "thank you", no matter what. Even in the above poker situation, it just seems like a polite thing he wants to say which is better than keeping quiet or not acknowledging it maybe? :p Not worth it getting annoyed over, IMO.



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Yea exactly....I think its more about acknowledging the compliment....and that you took it as a compliment....

For example, If i told a girl she was very attractive....Some women might be offended for whatever reason.....If they say thank you, then that means they took it the way i intended....

Also its kinda like accepting someone....If they compliment you that means they are interested in you (not just sexually...more of a friendly thing) and if the person you complimented responds positively, then it means they are also accpeting you......
 
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I live on the east coast and when I get done paying at the store I say, Thanks, have a good one.

Actions are way louder than words, so when someone does something for me of course I will thank them. But, if someone comes outta no where and says " oh great job on ________" etc. I just kind of just nod and smile and walk away....
People who fire compliments at anyone for very basic things are fishing for manipulation or is trying too hard for social acceptance IMO.
 
Kul69 said:
If I compliment someone and they just say "Yes" or some shit like that it just feels awkward like they don't appreciate or want you to compliment them and it makes me feel less friendly towards them.

I grew up on the west coast of the US and thank you, your welcome, please, etc are all very common there in basically any conversation especially if it's somewhat impersonal like you're talking to a store clerk or whatever.

Now I live on the east coast and when I say thank you if someone helps me in a store or holds a door or whatever they get all weirded out and flustered. It's really strange to me. What the hell do people say on the east coast to close a conversation?

It's gotten to the point that if I pay for something in a store I just take my change and walk away. Every time I say, have a nice day, or thank you, or whatever the person just gets this look like I've stabbed them.

It was so refreshing to go to Los Angeles and Seattle recently where after every fucking conversation I could have a back and forth of thanks, your welcome, have a nice day, you too, etc. Just such a nicer/cleaner way of "finishing" a conversation.

Seriously, if you live on the east coast how do you finish a conversation when purchasing stuff? I have to know because I think I'm being put on an "eject from store" list at most places. Should I just start being like, "GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK AND DONT STEAL ANY OF IT!" then when they hand it over count it in front of them then quickly look up at them with a cold glare before storming away?
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This post really made me laugh. (I mean that in a good way).

I am not sure though. I usually say thanks, but I rarely pay attention to their reaction. You could try saying outlandish and riduclous things. I bet you'd get some phone numbers that way. =D
 
Kyk said:
I find "thank you" to be tough to transition from and can kill a conversation.
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that's funny, i find "thanks" and a smile to be the best segue :)

i'm with what purepremium said. giving a compliment is either just a way to start a convo or an open sign of respect. either way, it takes an effort. whenever i meet people who don't give basic thanks for everyday things like compliments or holding a door open instantly makes me think of them as self-absorbed. someone takes an effort to make your life marginally better by boosting your ego or lightening the load and all it fucking takes to show appreciation is a six letter word.
 
thujone said:
that's funny, i find "thanks" and a smile to be the best segue :)

i'm with what purepremium said. giving a compliment is either just a way to start a convo or an open sign of respect. either way, it takes an effort. whenever i meet people who don't give basic thanks for everyday things like compliments or holding a door open instantly makes me think of them as self-absorbed. someone takes an effort to make your life marginally better by boosting your ego or lightening the load and all it fucking takes to show appreciation is a six letter word.
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I was just talking about compliments.

There are many, many other situations where a "thank you" is appropriate and yes, even expected.

.. Nice ass, btw. :)
 
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