I think I need to move on and try to do something different. I can't imagine life in this environment for too long anymore.
Live your life for you, hon. I see your posts here a lot, as you see mine and reach out compassionately.
We cannot change others, as we both know. We can perhaps make them THINK, but that's all, and the evolution needs to come from their will.
Sometimes we wait around for someone else to grow with us. And we may die waiting. We don't want that.
So, I say, do the things in life you want that are good, healthy, positive for YOU. Sometimes, this action is enough to shake up and wake up that someone we've been waiting for to stop acting foolish, and they follow your lead. You lead by action and example, and they may follow along and you get what you want and you're both better for it. And they realize they've been so stuck in their rut that they wish they'd joined you sooner on this exciting path of healthy growth and maturity.
On the other hand, they may not follow you to higher ground. In this case, you will now have a taste of that LIFE, that VIBRANCY, that COLOR you've been longing for because you took action. And if they don't follow, and you've made all of these great changes, it will not only become more clear what course of action to take regarding the other person, but, if that action is saying goodbye to them, it will not be as hard because instead of separating and facing gloom and loneliness, you are instead freeing yourself into an already improved version of your life. I hope I put that well enough
I understand your frustration. It's so hard when you want to be a loyal person, and although remain an individual, know that you are part of a duo, a team, bonded by and founded on love, trust, mutual desire to grow, etc.
But, unfortunately, things don't always go the way we wish they would.
Take charge of your joy, your power to create. I'm trying to. So hard.
It's worth it.
All the best, feel better Xo
Peace.