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Say something you can't say to their face

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why do you always push me to be in uncomfortable group social gatherings.. i need my alone time and ive been having aa hard time getting shit together lately but when i talk about it you condescend me and i feel even more pressure. plus your plans always change and you canceled like 3 times this month so whatevs
 
Fuck you, you lazy bitch. You think that you being a girl means that you don't have to do shit don't you? But that's not how life works. Next time I won't help you, but watch your downfall with satisfaction.
 
You don't take care of yourself. You seem to have no true goals or ambitions that you follow through with. Your de-motivation is catching. I am disappointed that you gave up your career. You need constant drama, never seem to be happy with yourself so in turn you neglect yourself and your family. Your not who I met and never will be again.
 
I have heard these almost exact words so often. Disappointing your beloved ones will catch your feelings eventually.:\
 
If I could do one thing in the world, I only had one thing in my whole life that came to pass. If every dream I have needed to fail and every hope I have in my heart had to die so that one thing could be different, I would take that in one moment. I would take that chance, and I would choose to be better, to be stronger when you came along. I was so young and unprepared but I love you more than life itself. I wish that I could have been older, and smarter, more capable than I was. I wish that I had never been broken, never been damaged or scarred so that I could give you all the love you deserved. I can't call you, I never do. How do you say Im sorry I gave you away but I still love you. If I could give up every breathe and shred of happiness that my life has left in it. Trade all my joy from every tomorrow till Im gone. If I could do anything to make it better for you. To know that I gave up when I should have stayed in for you. I just want your life to be,better. I just tried to give you what I couldn't. I wish I had been better.
 
All the woman in my life let me down growing up. I have a sister and a mother who have let me down in the worst ways recently. It's so hard for me to trust woman, after everything I shared with you and the way you said you wanted to be there and be my friend and hearing people talking about it and then asking if it was you and you lying, I desperately wanted to believe you. I actually thought I was going insane for 3 months, I told you I was suicidal and you let me share such intimate things with you. It's ok that you changed your mind but instead of stringing me along and making my mental breakdown public entertainment, I really wish you had the courage to just tell me you made a mistake and that you were sorry and just showed me a small amount of compassion, it would have allowed me to turn it into something positive. Going to my NA meeting and getting people to call me a liar when I was being completely honest, I haven't lied to you. None of what I have said was bullshit and these are all things I need to address to affect real change in my life. It was the ultimate betrayal and the way you went about avoiding just facing it and going around and having everyone I know mislead me just made it so much harder to trust people. One day I really hope you can see this and I am sorry, I was struggling I was hurting and desperate for something to believe in, something to hold on to and it's ok if it was too much but the way things have happened you broke my trust and my heart and had me questioning my sanity.

The people at NA mean well but they aren't qualified to treat me, they aren't medical professionals they are just addicts that have done what works for them and they don't have the social issues that I have. I am not in denial of anything in fact I identify with my short comings, I understand my sexuality and I am completely fine with it. I haven't had sex with anyone for over 2 years and a lot of that has to do with trauma and not being able to trust people, I haven't done those things people think I have done. They are wrong about me and I don't hold it against them. I know who I am, I know what I've done and I know how to move forward
 
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I hate these games we play with each other. As if your vulnerability would make me happy.
You have no idea. I guess neither one of us have.
 
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It's like any time you see me being stronger than you choose to be, or happier than you choose to be, or more optimistic and positive than you, again, key word, CHOOSE to be, you lose your mind and try to bring me down with disgusting words and disgustingaccusations.

For the life of me, I do not know how you live with yourself or how you sleep at night.

Although you have improved over the last few horrifying years.... how fucked up is it that even though you have improved, you are STILL an incredibly abusive, selfish, arrogant bastard?

One day, just as soon as I have my ducks in a better row, I will walk away from this nightmare, and finally have my peace.

I choose peace. Just like you have chosen to be an abusive, ungrateful, take-everything-for-granted-while-demanding-more asshole.

Grow the fuck up. Seriously, I don't even have words for how repulsed I am by you when you act like that. It's beyond pathetic.

You will reap what you sow. Be careful what fucking seeds you plant, idiot.
 
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