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Say something you can't say to their face

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You brought up our 'situation' the other night-- you said something to the effect that you've never done something like this before, that you don't know what "we are." Clearly you're interested in calling this a relationship, where I'm yours and you're mine...

We've seen each other nearly every day for the past three weeks, and I'm glad we have. We've gone from not knowing a thing about each other to being pretty fucking intimate. You've dealt with my faults and insecurities and don't seem scared shit-less. Sleeping with you in my arms and kissing you for hours has greatly improved my quality of life.

That being said, I don't know whether we both have as much to gain from this arrangement. I'm squandering my life away as an underachieving, drunk sud-slinger... you're a soon-to-be nurse that volunteers her time with underprivileged children. What can you see in me? What can I offer you? Strangely, two of my fellow drunken bartenders are also married to or seriously dating nurses... is there something in that combination?

I don't know what's what. You're leaving for a month, tomorrow, and that may help us determine whether we really need each other...
 
we've been spending a lot of time together lately. we go to meetings and spend hours at a time together. we get along great and you're probably the best female friend I got. I love all your quirks, mannerisms, and your uniqueness. we talk about everything and anything. you get along with my parents in the brief time you met them, your smile brightens my world, your laugh is so sweet, your eyes captivate me. but yet I feel this is all we'll ever be.... just friends... and I don't wanna lose that.
 
i just want you to know that God definitely gave you a one up when it came to good looks. aand, i wish i knew more about you on a personal level but the way that we even know eachother kind of permits that. your whole girlfriend/living situation sounds like it kind of sucks in general, part of me wishes i could help you out with that. however, i've always been one to confuse lust for love and i'd really, really hate to ruin things with your baby mama if anything were to ever happen between us.. all i know is that if going home to her causes so much anxiety that you relapse over it, it might be time to consider doing something different with your romantic intentions, period.
 
sometimes you make me so confused.

i am in love with you.

I wish you wouldnt disappear on me all the time and make me worried.

I love you, you hurt so much though, almost more than the dope that i no longer have anymore

if i could talk to you about how much i really miss dope, you would break up with me

you are so "strong" but you dont know a thing of emotions they arent easy for you, and maybe its your dad, maybe its cause youre a god damned gemini, or maybe im just a stupid little pisces man whos in love with love and am directionless without you.
 
you are so incredible. Im really happy I got to know you babe. I'm excited to see you my angel. it won't be too much longer. :)
 
Things are just getting too me so much, i feel i am begginning a burden too you and myself :( going from riches too rags in the space of 3 months have completely ruined me (i know it was my fault and i hate myself for it)

I really wish i could say the right thing to make you see how much you mean too me, everything i do seems to piss you off :( i feel like im walking on egg shells with you.

My mental issues are hard for you to understand and i totally understand that, but i aint making it an excuse in my life i just try to get on with it, i just wish you could see that behind my problems i am a loving caring person who has a lot to offer, but i need your support through these times and it pains me that you seem distant and unloving :( i hope things turn around, because i cant go on much longer like this, :( oh and yes u know all about head games, so please dont put the mind game category on me :/
 
I love that everyone hates you. I've been having so many bitching sessions about you with people ever since I got back. You got what you deserved I think. :)
 
You're a piece of shit for a father and though you make 60+ grand a year plus overtime plus sidejobs you still can't buy your son a cheap cell phone. You told me "it's my job" well I'm unemployed and you relish in it. Telling me how unfit I am. Yes I may be ill, but still capable but it's hard. Again you get your kicks saying what a loser I am. I just phoned human resources and because you were "grandfathered in" they don't check your felony background. That's only for new employees. I'm not done with you. Just wait because I'm going to make a big stink about this. The same company had no problem firing me when I was sick in hospital and didn't phone in. After more than 23 years, I was gone. Your turn, I'm not letting this go.
 
"A quick shoutout to my ex...whattuupp"

That night when you asked me if I though your Vag was too puffy and weird looking.....? And I said no. Well,

I meant it looks like someone put a stick of dynamite in a marsupial road kill, blew it up then sprinkled the toe nails from a legless sea troll then covered it with the butt crust scraping from that guy we saw who took a poop in front of my truck while waiting in line from Mexico near San Diego.

Still boned her that night! What?????
 
I hate you. When you threaten suicide (a tool of manipulation you use) I could really care less. Your family won't let you get near them. Last time your sister kindly gave you a place to stay you got busted hocking her husbands tools. You are homeless, carless, broke, and have no family/friends for a reason. Do you *really* think I would let you, a homeless junkie & thief live with me? The streets fit you just fine, except for when you get a break when in prison. You must LOVE IT there - they feed you and tell you what to do. You are 50 years old and the biggest loser I have EVER known (and I have known a few, believe me). (An obvious clue that things are bad is when other addicts don't even want to get near you/you can't hold on to a connection.)

You make me sick. God help anyone that gets near you. You used to be an addict, now you are a straight up predator.
 
I'm quite nervous and excited to see you after these 7 months of estrangement. The terms we parted on were horrible, but maybe, just maybe you can trust me again. I'm grateful you threw me down, it was necessary in order for me to realise the pits I had dug myself into. I don't blame you for that, it was merely self-preservation. But now I'm worried that I've marred your perception of me forever, what if the horrible things I've done and said replay in your mind whenever you see my face, what if you never open up to me again when I'm more than willing to open my heart to you? Well I won't rest on it, you're going away again soon. But I just want you to see how much I've changed, to see that there are fragments of the me that you fell in love that compose me still. Whatever happens I'm just glad I get this chance to look into your eyes again, touch your soul with my words... maybe we can even explore galaxies together again one day:)
 
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