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Say something you can't say to their face

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You spent a year showing up at my house, calling and texting. You would check to see if i was doing ok. You would talk to me until 4am in the morning.
I wasn't ready to be with you then though after what i had been though. You knew i was facing some shit. You were understanding and patient.
I eventually felt like i was able to relax a little and i wanted to make a go of things with you then you blew cold on me.

I finally began to trust men again and you took that and squashed it in a matter of days.
I didn't initiate anything. You did.
Clever, that was! I hope you gained some sort of satisfaction from messing with my already troubled mind.
I built trust in the wrong person.... again.
 
I'm like 98.999% sure I'm a only into women, but I'm staying because I daren't say that, I don't want to hurt you, I love you, and I hope I'm wrong and I'm trying to wait it out for something to show up and show me I'm wrong. But the more I wait, it's just turned into 1-2 years now, and I feel like shit for stringing you along this long. Considering just being closeted and staying forever, it seems about as good an option as leaving.
 
When words and actions don't match up, the truth is always shown in the actions.
 
You always write me letters and we speak on the phone. I’m glad I made you happy with the pictures and encouragement I sent. My job is to keep your spirits up now, but it can be hard sometimes when I’m barely hanging on by a thread myself.

I have to keep waiting for you. I believe in us. I pray we can see each other by Thanksgiving, early December. Waiting is torture and I’m soooo tired of waiting, but it will be worth it. Your love is keeping me alive right now.
 
I miss you M, you have a friend in me. I'm sober now and hope you are too. We were great friends when we were using, and I wonder if we could be friends without the drugs. I miss the way we would spend hours together in bliss mode. I mean we were basically ghetto married. I've moved on but you still have a special place in my heart.
 
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And to another hoe from another area code, quit leading other people on. You are just accumulating bad karma and hurting peoples feelings.
 
As much as I love you and can’t wait to be intimate again, I am NOT having sex with you until you deal with that bitch and get her out of your life for good. I understand you have to be civil so you can get your belongings back and not piss her off, but you better handle that first before we can be together again. It’s a touchy situation and I know she is jealous of us and will try anything to destroy what we have. Take care of your business first because I am not sleeping with you until all ties are cut.

I hate that bitch and I know she is still talking to your mom. It pisses me off. She got you in trouble in the first place. Once you get your shit and she’s gone, that’s the only time I would even think about sleeping with you. I will not be made a fool of.
 
I’m going to keep to myself from now on. You treat me like shit and I at least spend time with you. My little brother doesn’t even spend time with you, but you give him money every time he has his hand out. His freeloading friend is always here too, but that’s a different story. He can’t buy groceries and his friend has the nerve to be here eating up food. I ask you for one thing and you treat me like garbage. Please feel free to go fuck yourself. I want nothing from you. Ever. Bitch.
 
I see now more than ever how I’m like the dog of the family, the one they put the blame on and rub my nose in it.

I’m going to clean up good because I will either kill myself or finally move out. I won’t even give them the satisfaction of killing myself. I will move on with my life and leave them behind. Sick of being surrounded by cunts. Cunts. Cunts.
 
You were the love of my life... a life that you nearly ruined. You took every one of my weaknesses and used them against me. How can you sleep at night?

(I'm a lot stronger now because of it though, so maybe I should be thanking you.)
 
Dreamflyer...I find it hard to sleep now as well. He went back to her, so he has the warm body. She has my side of the bed. We had this ritual. I would lay my head and hand on his chest as we talked about everything until we couldnt keep our eyes open. We'd kiss and turn from each other because it was just how we slept. He would sometimes mid-snore reach for Me. Oh how I miss it
 
Funny, my ex is named Constance, and your post is pretty spot on for how we used to be, and what's going on now(with me). Now I'm stuck wondering if you are her o_O

Fuck now I miss her -.-
 
Its pretty ironic that going to some lengths to avoid breakup drama and removing any unnecessary angst in my daughters life and mine, Ive come face to face with the end of not just one relationship with one person but many at once.

Thats not the hard part. The hard part is realising this path of self preservation went off course a long time ago, I just wandered off in the direction I thought we were going only to look back and you had moved on elsewhere.

So its not a break up that two people acknowledge at the same time. Youre already gone.

And now so am I.

Now comes the empty feeling which is actually better than the boid you put under me.

Heres to new beginnings.
 
I need more friends because you kinda suck. We’ll be texting and then suddenly you’ll disappear and I’m basically left talking to myself. That means you are taking my friendship for granted.

When you finally do text back, I will make you wait a long time just like you’ve made me wait a day. Then you’ll be up my ass like “Are you ok?” and constantly trying to text me more when you notice you’re being ignored. I can’t stand that fake shit.
 
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