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Say something you can't say to their face

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Don't start taking me for granted. I will cut your ass right off to save myself the pain if I have to.
 
I'm impressed how people are willing to jeopardize the longest relationships for so little.
It's a force which unfortunately can be unconscious at times and that makes everything else become much more tricker to solve.
If I don't know I have a problem how can I face it, right. Some relatives can be our worst friends sometimes.
 
I feel kinda pathetic that I lied and told you I'm seeing a friend later just because I don't want you to know I'm just sitting around while you're out of town. Oh well. Sometimes you have tell little white lies. I really do need a life outside of just going out with him. It's not good to rely only on one person. He has friends and a life. I don't. It's annoying, but I don't want friends. Haha I'm too tired. Oh Jeez...
 
Your texts seem more short and distant. And I'm not going to keep asking you questions to keep a conversation going. That is sickening and it makes me feel clingy when I have to fucking pull information out of you. If you don't tell me much detail, I'm not asking.
 
Honestly, I love you. You're the best I've ever had and I never ever thought it could get better. I thought my best sex was behind me, but it's not just about sex, you're wonderful.
 
Erikmen said:
^ So sorry to hear that. It's a real difficult thing you are going through.
I do hope with all my heart that you feel better! <3
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Thank you, honey :) May you be happy, well, peaceful, and liberated yourself :) I see you posting around here now and then and you seem quite nice. Keep it up! Not enough nice people in this world, it seems like. Peace.
 
I don't love you anymore. I'm actually not sure that I was ever really, truly in love with you. You've been my best friend for 15 years, married for 11, and we have 3 beautiful sons together. But I'm not attracted to you in the least. I honestly don't like it when you try to get romantic or physical with me, kissing me, putting your arm around me, holding my hand, etc. I feel horrible for feeling that way, and I've been drowning myself in guilt and self-deprecation over this for years now, thinking there must be something wrong with me. So I've been doing a lot of self-reflection and trying to figure out why I feel this way, and it's because I don't respect you as a man. You are extremely self-centered, and you don't even realize it. Everything is about you - you never think about how anything will affect others, only yourself. When we have sex, it's to get you off, and then we're done. Even when you try to please me, it feels like it's out of obligation, not because you really, truly want to. And you act like you don't know what you're doing. It's like you're a giddy schoolboy getting his hands on a woman for the first time. It's embarrassing and a complete turn-off for me. I've gotten pretty good at faking being turned on, but it's all a big act. You don't turn me on. You haven't in a really long time. The only time I really enjoy sex with you (rarely) is when I think about someone else. You made me think there was something wrong with me because I had such a low sex drive, and even suggested I go see a doctor about it. But I knew my sex drive was there, I just didn't want it with you. I got so frustrated at a certain point, I thought I was going to completely disappear as a person, as a woman, as a human being, that I had to do something about it.

All of your suspicions and fears are true. I've slept with 6 other guys this year. I HAD to experience something different, something new, to find out what I'm capable of and if I can actually enjoy sex. Some of them just a few times, some many, many times, and one is still ongoing. The first guy I slept with made me cum within minutes. Something you've never been able to do in 11 years of marriage. I have enjoyed every sing minute with these guys, and don't regret it for a second. I've learned a lot about myself in the process, and I now know that I have a very high sex drive. I like it really rough, and that's what gets me off the most. I can take a lot during sex, being slapped, taking a pounding in all holes, etc. That's what I need to get off. This slow, tender, love making just doesn't cut it. You are not capable of giving me what I need. It's just not in your personality to be like that. Even if I told you exactly what I want, it would be forced and fake. I need a strong, confident, forceful man to take me. You are none of that. If you were like that 5 years ago, I might have been able to come around and be turned on by you again. But it's too late now. I just don't want you to touch me. But I can't tell you any of that without completely crushing you. I still love you as the father of my kids and my best friend, and I will always want you as a part of my life, but I don't want to be married to you anymore. I've told you that, but I can never truly tell you why. I just can't do that to you. The only explanation you'll get is that we "grew apart" and I don't love you like that anymore, which is part of the truth, at least.
 
That's very strong jaj6913. To be fair it takes two to grow apart from each other. You haven't done it yourself and you shouldn't feel guilty. It's so frustrating when you have a relationship with self centered people. Especially when you feel you do everything you can to overcome the situation but you don't see the same happening at the other side. Having made you feel inferior or bad as a person and let you go on believing it's all part of who you are when there are no efforts from your partner may lead you to feel so down and in despair that you'll instinctively end up doing things to prove your own value. That's how the nature works in certain relationships.

I'm also married for a long time and the one thing that keeps me far away is the fact that my wife has always blamed me for whatever doesn't work. It does not matter if it's something I said or another she has done. She never admits that sometimes you have to assume your own errors. Apologize and make peace again. She has always made me feel like I'm responsible for all the bad things it happens here. And I hate when that happens. We have often spoken about it even with a psychologist and the more I get frustrated more I distanced from her. In therapy she was asked if she ever felt that something went wrong because of her and that's when I knew something was clearly wrong because the answer was NEVER. That is she had never in 15 years done nothing wrong and all of the things that made us miserable falls on me. At the same time she wants everything but gives very little.

She is the mother of my children and I truly love her for what we have accomplished together. For having to go through situations beyond normal and still being capable to get around it - however - as long as and only if I admit that I fail. When we were asked to change, I did everything I could, including stop using drugs, admitting my own problems and being always present for my children regardless ever since they were born. So, in the long run if I assume I am the reason of all bad things regardless if I have changed entirely who I used to be it would be okay. And I don't get it. I don't understand why someone cannot simply tell that "this is my fault, sorry, let's move on." So either she is literally perfect or I'm not making myself clear.

I'm sorry this is bringing so much strong feelings on you and that you feel guilty about feeling the way you feel. What I can tell you is that we can love our partners in different ways but we can't wait our lives for them to change. And know that this happens a lot, with so many different couples. What you have said is common. I feel bad that sexist feelings are still playing a major role in so many marriages but that's life. I hope you understand that you have a choice here. You can divorce and yes, you'll be in pain for years in order to find true happiness even if it's momentarily or you can remain married and hold to your hurt. It's an extremely difficult choice and most of the times we tend to believe things will get better.

I'm happy you have shared this, that's a load off your shoulders to be able to express yourself and be that straight forward, knowing precisely who you are and have come in terms with yourself when it comes to know that you are not bad or not capable to do something. I can only imagine how tough and difficult it must have been to think you had a problem when it obviously wasn't all about you.

I hope you come to terms with your partner as well as you did with yourself. From what I read you seem to be a very honest and decent person who has tried so many things and even under great frustration was capable to keep trying until you realized you are as important as the other part. <3
 
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I just posted about you a couple of days ago, but here we are again. We made up, because I went crawling back to you, craving your attention. I apologized even though you were the one who needed to, I'm sorry but I just can't lose anyone else in my life no matter who did what wrong. I'm so confused but I'm doing it to myself. We hung out Thursday morning. It was nice. We had sex. Really, really good sex. You keep telling me that it'll get even better over time but that isn't what I'm keeping you around for. My happiness lies within you now, and I appreciate you. You say you appreciate me too, and you want to be together, but it can't be serious because you're waiting for someone on the other side of the world. What is going to become of us? I've been clean from cocaine for... months, I don't remember, but guess what. I bought some tonight, because of my emotions over you.
 
cannablissss said:
I apologized even though you were the one who needed to, I'm sorry but I just can't lose anyone else in my life no matter who did what wrong.
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I think I know what you mean by that. And I can relate to some of the things you have mentioned.

It seems as if every time I make my mind about certain aspects of our life together my wife surprises me with something new and good. And that makes everything much more confusing. Not that I don't like it, but I feel it affects my judgement.

Thank God I have my children who I can love and be loved freely without games. It's always transparent, real and they know they can count on me.
 
I was reading an old quote and remembered how cosy it is when people like you regardless of who you are, or simply because of who you are.

It says that a friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.

This is rare, really difficult to find someone willing to accept ourselves in its integrity. So we should probably want to hold to them as much as we can.
 
What's going on with all of us ?? Life sucks sometimes we just have to move on to a better and greater opportunity!

Wish you the best for 2017. We are here for you! <3
 
It's like pulling teeth when texting him! This bothers me, but I have to let it go I guess. Things are always better in person, but when it comes to texting/talking, I'm sick of making all the conversation. Maybe I just need more of a life. Somehow...
 
I'm so tired I could sleep for a week. :\ Stressed, hoping that 2016 finishes fast, like today!!
 
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