Hey Friends
Comment at time of posting to BL: This post took way longer then expected, hours to write due to slow typing speeds from side effects and the length due to the necessary details to get accurate feedback.
Im so tired now, the meth side effects keep coming back and fading away again, nothing is getting better and another night has passed almost and I really need some guidance and answers please!
Please excuse any typos or issues with this post, i simpy cant write ayn mre.
Beggining
It seems I have passed through the worst of the mental shit from the meth comedown using H for the first time to assist the process. Seems I got a bit manic, psycho fand over excited to out of control with my ideas and fantasies about posts and responses on BL.
Apologies for that my friends. The idea seemed to be creative responses that where humerus and entertaining so the crazy posts where less indicative of me going nuts as they purposely creative for entertainments sake (mostly mine i guess).
Anything negative was not intended, i respect my BL brothers and dont bear anybody any ill will.
Usually I use Seropuel to avoid any of this shit but it was unsafe due to H in my system.
I have now it seems crossed over into a calmer H mental state and seemed to get the dosage right so this was not TO overpowering when it happened.
I still however have the physical meth annoyances like jerking limbs and body and constant tics that look bad but are only annoying. Other bad physical peripheral stimulation seems to be held at bay for now and I can feel the meth loosing its remaining effects and no panick attack like last time with breathing issues which i was dreading.
So now I need Heroin related guidance and some answers foir moving forward from this point where stim is going away and H dangers increase.
I need to either maintain until meth is gone and I can relax and sleep or plan to stop the H and ensure a proper delay until I can safely dose my usual savior, Seroquel and exit this entire situation, not sure yet.
My current situation i need evaluated for concerns and safety in relation to H maintenance
1. I have stim related body jerking and nervous ticks, like a stereotypical tweaker but this is going away and I can tel the stim effects are quite low now due to obvious major reductions in the vasoC and other signs I use to determine the level of its effect on me. The drug itself has likely left my system, i think its been 25 hours now but it has always taken my quite a while longer for meth to stop working then the factual figures.
Any idea when the other remaining stimulation and jerks/ticks, compulsive movements will stop, how long still? I have used meth tons and never gotten this far yet without Seroquel
2. I am experiencing that annoying flushed uncomfortable hot feeling that often happens later in my binges and it also comes with a period of sweating and then no sweating and then repeats. I find this often happens with the sweating when i feel I have become dehydrated and always get annoyed and wonder why im fucking sweating when im dehydrated.
I know i am currently dehydrated due to urine colouring and am currently trying to hydrate, have eaten and taken vitamins along with my chelated mag which always helps. Also note the perceived heat is probably also being increased by the H in my system
I always tend to get dehydrated to some extent as its always very difficult i find to remember your liquids due to the focus and also find it difficult to give it enough attention or time to get as much in as possible. My body seems to reject more liquid being swallowed then a swall amount each time i pick up the container. Its wierd.
3. I have quite strong opiate itches especially on my face which is not normal, usually its arms and legs only. Also the opiate sedation is low now and will need a redose soon and its odd the itch is worse then it should be for the other effects.
I used a non sedating anti hystamine earlier with good results but its finished now
4. My mental state is positive, opiate calm, decent euphoria that freels like it still has some meth euphoria in there as well. I am in no way anxious or concerned or paranoid like i should be at this point. Thanks to H i guess.
I do have concerns however of risks to my mental state as my vision is indicating obvious trails, phantom images, corner movements, smoke what i usually get when high on day 3 or 4 of a binge even though this is only midway through the second night of no sleep. I think the comedown has made these things worse.
I also have the terribly strong and hateful sense of smells that really bother me and also usually when im high, dont know why it could be strong now.
Lastly i got that early beginnings and mumur of what could be music around me that usually ends up as the mental radio that plays music all the time.
In comparison to these signs my mental state feels fare more in control.
Im guessing this is from the H buffering my state of mind
Thats mostly my current state. Please let me know any concerns or actions in general and also any comments regarding the above related to the plan on continuing H use from this point.
My questions:
1. When on the H in this situation i tend to automatically fight the nod and any drowsiness or desire to close eyes. It seems I am naturally fighting to retain a relaxed state with open eyes and no nod where i am interacting with my pc. This state feels the most natural and desired state to wait out this process.
The nod or closing eyes feels wrong, scary as if noding or falling asleep would be dangerous as fact but when i think about this there is no reason it would be, am i correct.
Would it be safe to nod or even doze off in my current situation as described above?
2. When I have dosed enough H that I would tend to nod or close eyes if in a relaxed state I seem to experience and alternate between two types of drowsy nodding states and the below factors seem to appear within the same levels of highness or drowsyness. Meaning the below points arent obviously indicative of differing degrees of highness
a)Drowsy/Nodding Normal
b)As above by instead my vision is totally fucked with this wierd blurring effect that doesnt seem to effect vision much when needing to view a big area or negotate walking etc but the focus on smaller details is utterly impossible no matter the distance. No matter how hard i try or focus eyes sometimes its utterly impossible to read or make out even the slightest detail of what the word is. The only thing that helps this is moving my body lie sitting up from a lying position being active for a bit and my vision quickly clears alot and its obviously not from the resultant change in distance to the text, its from the action of moving the body and whatever this might be doing.
Also it can be mostly initiated (the vision issues) if closing eyes a bit longer and remainig in a relaxed nodding position for maybe a minute or so
Any thoughts on causes or concerns on this?
Also to add something else, often I will be all good in the ideal situation relaxed and nicely high but not to drowsy maybe writing or reading with perfect vision like i was a few minutes ago then eventually at some point with any cause or noticing any other change in the experience my vision will begin to deteriorate but not like when relaxing the eyes or some other thing caused by your relaxed state when focusing could correct it.
Its more an actual change in the high where your vision will start to quikly blur at a consistent speed no matter what you try do to stop it and will remain like that and eventually revert back to clarity for a while. It doesnt deteriorate as fast and to the extreme degree the noding example can go to though.
When it deteriorates and while in that state my eyes will feenl wierd and I would want to rub them constantly.
Could this perhaps be related to vasoC and pupils fighting between constricting and dialating like using H on meth where it has happened more often and then perhaps due to smoking causing VasoC in other cases?
3. When on any effective dose of H i get this feeling that my food pipe or gullet is inflamed or affected in some way.
For example if feeling gas in stomach or chest and making the burping action which would bring up the gas, it seems like it gets stuck or is ineffective in some way and i need to try a few times to get the burp up.
It also creates this odd feeling like it is difficult to swallow. I have had something that can b e described like this that is caused by Seroquel and i noted much more common when i used Seroquel with Kratom.
But i want to note that that was different feeling entirely, that was an inhibition of the swallowing action completely and very scary. This other thing you can swallow but it feel uncomfortable like maybe its swollen
Then lastly same issue if high and drowsy/nodding and more in a flatter lying down position I will often notice at some point that bile and vomit has crept the pipe and almost into my throat and mouth without warning.
Other positions i will suddenly get bile and food in my mouth without warning like somehow its free and open for it just to come running out of my stomach at any time. Also there is no burn or acidic taste or sensations like the few rare times this has happened due to other causes.
Also, as it just happened right now, i might take a sip of water and swallow and it feels like it all goes down but then if i move funny or breath i choke on liquid that has somehow gotten stuck in my throat without feeling it there at all.
I never get stuff like this normally, i never get heartburn or acid reflux normally when sober
4. I never experience Nausea and perhaps only minor background levels when perceived to be quite high and drowsyess with regular nodding attacks that can be just barely held at bay, eyes forced open.
I usually never have issues with this even for other drugs that are know top cause it like mdma.
Does this case with the H mean that my dosages are likely still low and will higher dosages always case the nausea to appear consistently across most people or is it possible i resist it and should therefore not use my level of nausae as any kind of indicator.
Comment at time of posting to BL: This post took way longer then expected, hours to write due to slow typing speeds from side effects and the length due to the necessary details to get accurate feedback.
Im so tired now, the meth side effects keep coming back and fading away again, nothing is getting better and another night has passed almost and I really need some guidance and answers please!
Please excuse any typos or issues with this post, i simpy cant write ayn mre.
Beggining
It seems I have passed through the worst of the mental shit from the meth comedown using H for the first time to assist the process. Seems I got a bit manic, psycho fand over excited to out of control with my ideas and fantasies about posts and responses on BL.
Apologies for that my friends. The idea seemed to be creative responses that where humerus and entertaining so the crazy posts where less indicative of me going nuts as they purposely creative for entertainments sake (mostly mine i guess).
Anything negative was not intended, i respect my BL brothers and dont bear anybody any ill will.
Usually I use Seropuel to avoid any of this shit but it was unsafe due to H in my system.
I have now it seems crossed over into a calmer H mental state and seemed to get the dosage right so this was not TO overpowering when it happened.
I still however have the physical meth annoyances like jerking limbs and body and constant tics that look bad but are only annoying. Other bad physical peripheral stimulation seems to be held at bay for now and I can feel the meth loosing its remaining effects and no panick attack like last time with breathing issues which i was dreading.
So now I need Heroin related guidance and some answers foir moving forward from this point where stim is going away and H dangers increase.
I need to either maintain until meth is gone and I can relax and sleep or plan to stop the H and ensure a proper delay until I can safely dose my usual savior, Seroquel and exit this entire situation, not sure yet.
My current situation i need evaluated for concerns and safety in relation to H maintenance
1. I have stim related body jerking and nervous ticks, like a stereotypical tweaker but this is going away and I can tel the stim effects are quite low now due to obvious major reductions in the vasoC and other signs I use to determine the level of its effect on me. The drug itself has likely left my system, i think its been 25 hours now but it has always taken my quite a while longer for meth to stop working then the factual figures.
Any idea when the other remaining stimulation and jerks/ticks, compulsive movements will stop, how long still? I have used meth tons and never gotten this far yet without Seroquel
2. I am experiencing that annoying flushed uncomfortable hot feeling that often happens later in my binges and it also comes with a period of sweating and then no sweating and then repeats. I find this often happens with the sweating when i feel I have become dehydrated and always get annoyed and wonder why im fucking sweating when im dehydrated.
I know i am currently dehydrated due to urine colouring and am currently trying to hydrate, have eaten and taken vitamins along with my chelated mag which always helps. Also note the perceived heat is probably also being increased by the H in my system
I always tend to get dehydrated to some extent as its always very difficult i find to remember your liquids due to the focus and also find it difficult to give it enough attention or time to get as much in as possible. My body seems to reject more liquid being swallowed then a swall amount each time i pick up the container. Its wierd.
3. I have quite strong opiate itches especially on my face which is not normal, usually its arms and legs only. Also the opiate sedation is low now and will need a redose soon and its odd the itch is worse then it should be for the other effects.
I used a non sedating anti hystamine earlier with good results but its finished now
4. My mental state is positive, opiate calm, decent euphoria that freels like it still has some meth euphoria in there as well. I am in no way anxious or concerned or paranoid like i should be at this point. Thanks to H i guess.
I do have concerns however of risks to my mental state as my vision is indicating obvious trails, phantom images, corner movements, smoke what i usually get when high on day 3 or 4 of a binge even though this is only midway through the second night of no sleep. I think the comedown has made these things worse.
I also have the terribly strong and hateful sense of smells that really bother me and also usually when im high, dont know why it could be strong now.
Lastly i got that early beginnings and mumur of what could be music around me that usually ends up as the mental radio that plays music all the time.
In comparison to these signs my mental state feels fare more in control.
Im guessing this is from the H buffering my state of mind
Thats mostly my current state. Please let me know any concerns or actions in general and also any comments regarding the above related to the plan on continuing H use from this point.
My questions:
1. When on the H in this situation i tend to automatically fight the nod and any drowsiness or desire to close eyes. It seems I am naturally fighting to retain a relaxed state with open eyes and no nod where i am interacting with my pc. This state feels the most natural and desired state to wait out this process.
The nod or closing eyes feels wrong, scary as if noding or falling asleep would be dangerous as fact but when i think about this there is no reason it would be, am i correct.
Would it be safe to nod or even doze off in my current situation as described above?
2. When I have dosed enough H that I would tend to nod or close eyes if in a relaxed state I seem to experience and alternate between two types of drowsy nodding states and the below factors seem to appear within the same levels of highness or drowsyness. Meaning the below points arent obviously indicative of differing degrees of highness
a)Drowsy/Nodding Normal
b)As above by instead my vision is totally fucked with this wierd blurring effect that doesnt seem to effect vision much when needing to view a big area or negotate walking etc but the focus on smaller details is utterly impossible no matter the distance. No matter how hard i try or focus eyes sometimes its utterly impossible to read or make out even the slightest detail of what the word is. The only thing that helps this is moving my body lie sitting up from a lying position being active for a bit and my vision quickly clears alot and its obviously not from the resultant change in distance to the text, its from the action of moving the body and whatever this might be doing.
Also it can be mostly initiated (the vision issues) if closing eyes a bit longer and remainig in a relaxed nodding position for maybe a minute or so
Any thoughts on causes or concerns on this?
Also to add something else, often I will be all good in the ideal situation relaxed and nicely high but not to drowsy maybe writing or reading with perfect vision like i was a few minutes ago then eventually at some point with any cause or noticing any other change in the experience my vision will begin to deteriorate but not like when relaxing the eyes or some other thing caused by your relaxed state when focusing could correct it.
Its more an actual change in the high where your vision will start to quikly blur at a consistent speed no matter what you try do to stop it and will remain like that and eventually revert back to clarity for a while. It doesnt deteriorate as fast and to the extreme degree the noding example can go to though.
When it deteriorates and while in that state my eyes will feenl wierd and I would want to rub them constantly.
Could this perhaps be related to vasoC and pupils fighting between constricting and dialating like using H on meth where it has happened more often and then perhaps due to smoking causing VasoC in other cases?
3. When on any effective dose of H i get this feeling that my food pipe or gullet is inflamed or affected in some way.
For example if feeling gas in stomach or chest and making the burping action which would bring up the gas, it seems like it gets stuck or is ineffective in some way and i need to try a few times to get the burp up.
It also creates this odd feeling like it is difficult to swallow. I have had something that can b e described like this that is caused by Seroquel and i noted much more common when i used Seroquel with Kratom.
But i want to note that that was different feeling entirely, that was an inhibition of the swallowing action completely and very scary. This other thing you can swallow but it feel uncomfortable like maybe its swollen
Then lastly same issue if high and drowsy/nodding and more in a flatter lying down position I will often notice at some point that bile and vomit has crept the pipe and almost into my throat and mouth without warning.
Other positions i will suddenly get bile and food in my mouth without warning like somehow its free and open for it just to come running out of my stomach at any time. Also there is no burn or acidic taste or sensations like the few rare times this has happened due to other causes.
Also, as it just happened right now, i might take a sip of water and swallow and it feels like it all goes down but then if i move funny or breath i choke on liquid that has somehow gotten stuck in my throat without feeling it there at all.
I never get stuff like this normally, i never get heartburn or acid reflux normally when sober
4. I never experience Nausea and perhaps only minor background levels when perceived to be quite high and drowsyess with regular nodding attacks that can be just barely held at bay, eyes forced open.
I usually never have issues with this even for other drugs that are know top cause it like mdma.
Does this case with the H mean that my dosages are likely still low and will higher dosages always case the nausea to appear consistently across most people or is it possible i resist it and should therefore not use my level of nausae as any kind of indicator.
