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Rough Sex?

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bigguypompey

Greenlighter
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
1
Hi There,

My girlfriend wants me to be rough with her during sex, this is not something i have done before and am not really sure what to do, any advice would be muchly appreciated :)
 
Pound her pussy so that the neighbors can hear her screaming,

/thread
 
Seyer said:
Pound her pussy so that the neighbors can hear her screaming,

/thread
Click to expand...

This^ Also ask her what she wants you to do would be the easiest way to find out, maybe some biting, leave some hand prints on her ass.
 
You will want to have a conversation ahead of time. Hash out what she wants to have done, what her limits are, etc. If she wants you to surprise her, proceed VERY cautiously. It's easy to cross a line.
Establish a "safe word". Regardless of what you're doing, if it's rough, you need to have a safe word.
If(hopefully) you guys discuss it, don't be afraid to throw out your own ideas. I've been with a handful of girls that preferred rough treatment and I quickly stopped being shocked at what they would agree to. Nothing absolutely insane. Just submission to a sometimes extreme level.

If I had to suggest a starter pack type thing for you, I'd get her consent to try.....
Calling her derogatory names.
During oral push her back and slap her lightly to begin with. If it's not hard enough, she can say so, and then you can go harder.
Same with sex. Slap/smack her on the face, the chest, the ass. If that's not enough, push it further for her.
Be rough and controlling with blowjobs. Force her head, gag her if she likes that, pull her hair, slap her again.
Put your hands around her neck. Careful. I'm not gonna suggest choking because "breath play" is too dicey/dangerous. At least to begin with.
Tie her up. Girls that like rough sex typically like to feel helpless. Bondage, even just hands behind the back, can really, really do the trick.
Order her around. Don't ask. Tell.
Throw her around some. Nothing crazy. Just forcefully place her where you want her to be.

There's a endless list of shit you can do. It all depends on what she's comfortable with or how far she's willing to push herself.
It won't feel like it at times(it can start to feel almost too empowering) but it's just, if not more, about her pleasure than it is yours.
Again, the key, THE KEY, to having a mutually good time with rough sex is to know where her limits are and to never get carried away and barrel past those limits.

It may feel kinda weird, intimidating at first to do that stuff to her. I felt that way the first time I got this kind of request.
Once I started working towards what she and I wanted, the better and better it got.
 
I think 95Land gave very good advice.
You should definitely ask her beforehand what she wants though - or for a general idea at the very least. You don't want to start choking her and suddenly realise she's terrified and hates it.

So yeah I'm basically just going to repeat what he said, but good 'lighter' things to start with are spanking, tying up, ordering her around/telling her what to do, calling her things like 'slut', pulling her hair, biting her, holding her down...
If you want to make it a bit more intense, you could move on to slapping, gagging, choking her during BJs (as in deep throats and you control when she breathes), strangling her (very lightly! Not in a dangerous way)...

There's really lots of stuff to do. Just go with it! And have fun :D
 
What is your sex life like now? Do you mostly initiate sex, or does she? Do you think she was saying that she would just like it if you took control a little bit more, or do you think she genuinely wants rough sex?

I think these are all things to consider, and I think 95Land gave good advice...it is good to talk this stuff out before hand.

I am just saying, there have been times in the past when I have expressed a desire to my partner for him to dominate me, but when I really thought about what I wanted, it was for him to take control of the sex...initiate it, tell me what to do, maybe pull my hair and slap my ass a little, but I really have no desire to be smacked with a belt or anything. I think it would be a great idea to talk with your girlfriend a little more and see where she is coming from on this.
 
Pagey's right regarding total consent beforehand and starting out light.
It can be odd starting off this kind of relationship. What I mean is, from a male POV, everything about it is supposed to be you(the aggressor) absolutely controlling someone. In a way it feels completely out of order to get clearance on everything beforehand.
But, it is absolutely how it needs to be.

One of my longtime girlfriend's liked to be surprised. Both in when it happened and what happened. That was what made it work for her.
Most of the time it went fine. However, I can think of at least two times where I did something that didn't go over well and she was..... Not happy.
Any other situation from it being a long term relationship, I think I would have watched her walk out the door as a result.

So, let me redact the part about potentially indulging her and going along with a request to surprise her.
It's a process if you want it to be good. Once you get a nice long list of do's and do not's, then you guys could have scenario's where you surprise her. Within the parameters. Harm prevention and all. ;).
 
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^Yeah, it's a bit counter-intuitive to establish boundaries beforehand when you're talking about being completely dominant and in control, but it really is essential and in the end I don't think it takes anything out of the experience.
I mean kind of like you, I can definitely think of some BDSM stuff I'm perfectly comfortable with now that would have really freaked me out when I was just starting to experiment with it...you gotta start light and work your way up :)
 
^Agreed. For sure.
The initial discussion is also a way for you(OP) to decide if it's something you even want to get into.
There's, of course, guys that don't wanna do this kind of stuff. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, either.
So, yep. The game plan is key.

Personally, I feel like sex gets very, very vanilla without some weirdness. Go for it, bud. Good luck.
 
Seyer said:
Pound her pussy so that the neighbors can hear her screaming,

/thread
Click to expand...

Aaaaaaand time for me to go masturbate.

pastelcircus said:
pull hair, spank ass, repeat.
Click to expand...

^ this. Its a good foolproof way to start out if youve never tried anything like that before.

Dont be afraid, it really is very pleasant from a female point of view, just make sure you get a nice even handful of hair and then hold it tight while you pound her doggy style.

And maybe some dirty talk for good measure.



And what seyer said.

Cause that sounded hawt.




And then you can take it from there, like everybody else said just talk specifics with her and youll be fine.
 
bigguypompey said:
Hi There,

My girlfriend wants me to be rough with her during sex, this is not something i have done before and am not really sure what to do, any advice would be muchly appreciated :)
Click to expand...

I would find out what she means totally before you do anything.
My girlfreind said that once & it turned out she was into erm "alternative sexual practises" at the start I was worried & scared but I found aspects of my own sexuality I never knew were there.

Good luck :)
 
Seyer said:
Pound her pussy so that the neighbors can hear her screaming,

/thread
Click to expand...

Not hot...I mean shit, both on the Dom here for not keeping his sub quiet, and on the sub for (presumably, if the neighbours can hear it) making more noise over a bit of slapping and sex than people do during invasive medical procedures. tsk tsk...

If Rangrz and Ms.G where the neighbours, we'd come over there and gag both of ya and fuck ya til you loved us.

On my end: I agree with the poster who says discuss it, obtain consent, safe words, etc.

Also: Avoid cliche tripe like "slut" "whore" "bitch" "who's your daddy?" etc. It makes one sound borderline retarded.
Use finess too! Forceful and rough and sloppy is pretty whack. Be forceful, but with precision and care. Also, try to substitute "command presence" for "forceful" whenever possible, and substitute "Leadership" for "command presence" whenever that is possible. Which should be 80% of the time or more.

Forceful would be pinning her down, command presence would be very sternly and directly telling her to get on her back with her knees up and legs spread. Leadership would be hinting it to her or asking her to do it, in a cheerful manner. If you do it right, she'll do it with a smile on her face and will feel more like she is a really hot girl who a guy really wants to get with and still feel respected. The communication involved also makes it more intellectually stimulating. Just pinning her down would be a) more like she's a warm squishy hole than a person b) it's pretty basic. I guess that's not a problem if you *are* just basic, mind you.
 
rangrz said:
Not hot...I mean shit, both on the Dom here for not keeping his sub quiet, and on the sub for (presumably, if the neighbours can hear it) making more noise over a bit of slapping and sex than people do during invasive medical procedures. tsk tsk...

If Rangrz and Ms.G where the neighbours, we'd come over there and gag both of ya and fuck ya til you loved us.

On my end: I agree with the poster who says discuss it, obtain consent, safe words, etc.


Best answer as usual this and dont forget some sex toys! :)

Also: Avoid cliche tripe like "slut" "whore" "bitch" "who's your daddy?" etc. It makes one sound borderline retarded.
Use finess too! Forceful and rough and sloppy is pretty whack. Be forceful, but with precision and care. Also, try to substitute "command presence" for "forceful" whenever possible, and substitute "Leadership" for "command presence" whenever that is possible. Which should be 80% of the time or more.

Forceful would be pinning her down, command presence would be very sternly and directly telling her to get on her back with her knees up and legs spread. Leadership would be hinting it to her or asking her to do it, in a cheerful manner. If you do it right, she'll do it with a smile on her face and will feel more like she is a really hot girl who a guy really wants to get with and still feel respected. The communication involved also makes it more intellectually stimulating. Just pinning her down would be a) more like she's a warm squishy hole than a person b) it's pretty basic. I guess that's not a problem if you *are* just basic, mind you.
Click to expand...

Awesome answer as usual. This and dont forget the sex toys!
 
rangrz said:
Also: Avoid cliche tripe like "slut" "whore" "bitch" "who's your daddy?" etc. It makes one sound borderline retarded.
Click to expand...

This.

I just figured op meant regular old rough sex not sub/dom play (although i suppose those could be considered variants of the same thing), but regardless of what shes loking for this statement could not be more accurate.

Get creative with it for fucks sake.

And specific.


Otherwise it just ends up sounding scripted, forced, and boring as hell.
 
My chick recently asked me to choke and her now she's obsessed. I must admit, it's pretty hot. Try that out softly and see if she goes for it.
 
^ Yeah see that's one where I think it's particularly important to run the idea by her first. I like it personally but it would not have gone well the first time if I didn't know it was coming and it hadn't been discussed beforehand.
 
set some ground rules first make sure you know how rough she wants it so you dn't overstep your boundaries.
 
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