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Recovery Road to Recovery

I guess I'll had to atleast start asking to be able to write about something I feel would help others.

Journalist can make something good happen. I.F. Stone is a good example of that as well as those who pursued for the same ideals after him.

I do still think that starting to study to a drug counselor would be a reasonable goal in the future.

We started our red teaming operation today and one of my collegues said that someone should get into the lobby of the business whose security we are investigating and start acting like a drug addict in order to get securitys attention thus giving someone else a way to slip in. At first I wanted to give a huge lecture about his stereotypical assumption on how drug addicts behave but I chose to just bite it and deal with it.

I am currently in a back of a van and taking half of my todays dose of subs as I don't know when I get a next time being alone for a while.

Some people do think that security analysis jobs are glamorous but it actually consists of so much monitoring and sitting on arse that it is far from being glamorous.

After the subs have dissolved I'll eat some coldish pizza and continue to monitor what is going on that business and how their security works to find some loopholes on how to infiltrate them. Lost one drone already because of windy conditions.

I have had some cravings for benzos from that dentist visit but I am dealing with them quite easily.
 
I don't know if you have heard of binaural therapy or if you believe in it buth I have recently found it helpfull for all types of cravings as well as some mindfullness techiniques.

It really tales the edge of the cravings as well as just pointing out that I have cravings either in IRL to my close ones as well as writing about it.
 
MrRoot, Will you marry me and continue to love and treat me as you have been doing all this time no matter the flaws of my own self?
 
giphy.gif
 
Needless to say we are engaged now :)

Didn't feel enough important way to answer through messaging board but drove to her place answer her that I do.
 
Artemisia said:
MrRoot, Will you marry me and continue to love and treat me as you have been doing all this time no matter the flaws of my own self?
Click to expand...

MrRoot said:
Needless to say we are engaged now :)

Didn't feel enough important way to answer through messaging board but drove to her place answer her that I do.
Click to expand...

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH =D

Awwwww, even though I'm super envious of you two, I'm just so happy to hear about this!!! You two just made my night :) Sending you oodles and oodles of love and kindness and good Southern California cheer %)

First SL proposal I am aware of. You two are history in the making. Mazel tov! <3
 
Thanks a lot :)

We have thought about streaming our wedding in the future and of course all who attend to SL and other recovery support subforums will be welcomed to participate.

On the other hand I have a follow up to the dentist tomorrow and I received 2mg clonazepam be taken 1h before the appointment. Is that time sufficient enough for it to kick in?

If they ever need to do something invasive to my teeth they'll transfer me to university hospital which can use midazolam to enduce amnesia.
 
Hey, Mr. Root...as TPD aptly put it, Mazel!!! That is wonderful news.

As for the timing on the clonezepam, 1 hours prior to the appointment *should* be OK, especially if (as would surely be the case in the US), you'll find yourself waiting at the office for a while before getting down to business at the dentist. But clonnies are long-acting enough that you could go a bit earlier just to be sure they're in place when things get serious.
 
I have been bothering about my take on soberierity. I have started to think that maybe I could use sometimes tnempathogens and psychedelics. Just few times a year and still consider myself being sober in my opinion as those haven't been problem for me ever.

Just something like mdma and microdoses of LSD to enhance sexual activities.
 
MrRoot said:
I have been bothering about my take on soberierity. I have started to think that maybe I could use sometimes tnempathogens and psychedelics. Just few times a year and still consider myself being sober in my opinion as those haven't been problem for me ever.

Just something like mdma and microdoses of LSD to enhance sexual activities.
Click to expand...

If anything, I find my use of enthogens and empathogens enhance my sobriety and recovery from substance use disorder. Stuff like mescaline, LSD, MDMA, ketamine/DXM/MXE, mushrooms, DMT, iboga and a few others most definitely continue to have a place in my recovery arsenal, even if I don't use them as much as I used to.

They most certainly have played an important role in getting my recovery game going and maintain sobriety from opioid and harmful drug use more generally. I'm far from perfect when it comes to how I use drugs, but it's nothing like it has been when it was having a particularly harmful affect on my health and psyche.

It's all in how you use them though. At the end of the day, you have to think for yourself in your recovery. That is really what it's all about - getting past getting caught up in our own thought patterns or sucked into those push on us by often oppressive aspects of our culture (particularly when it comes to abstinent focused recovery cultures).

I wouldn't be surprised if you find you are able to integrate them into your lifestyle when you feel you're ready to and confident you can do so in healthy ways. All the more so if it is something you save for sharing with your special someone, as I seem to remember it is something she also enjoys :) it's hard to beat the beauty of sharing magic moments like that with the person you love most in the world. Talk about connection!!!

And that would be pretty awesome streaming your wedding. You can definitely count me in for that! I am touched you think of us in such a way <3

How did the clonazepam go? Two hours should be more than enough to kick in. Generally I notice effects within 30-60 minutes at the most. 2mg is also enough of dose to notice something fast like that, especially if taken sublingually or on an empty stomach.
 
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Clonazepam helped a lot taken 1 hour prior but what helped more was the dentist who knew how to handle patients with severe dentist phobia. She was nice and explained everything what was happening in a very calm way and allowed to keep pause whenever I wanted. It went very smooth.

Now I can focus on what is next on my task.
 
Right on man, I always love hearing about cool dentists. The one I have right now is pretty damn cool, good with the palliative care, but not necessarily to the degree it sounds like you're describing. Anyhoo glad to hear it went well!

One less thing to worry about :)
 
This day has been very exhausting for me. I am doing an article about f2f drug dealing and how it is done nowadays with the help of various internet related things and how it differs from what it used to be.

I spent a day with a guy/girl who sells drugs fornhis/her living and followed him/her in his/her car while he/she was doing his/her business and interviewed him/her whole time.

Phew. I think I have had enough of seeing various destinies of others for a while and must take some time on my own.

I haven't lived typical addict lifestyle ever and it was eyeopening to see how people are on their worst and I wonder what keeps them going on that same shit from day to day but to be honest I did just the same but I did it with legal prescribed drugs bought from pharmacy so I didn't meet the reality of being drug addict and needing to cope on from day to day scraping money to get my fix.

"Luckily" most of the clients who purchased other than opioids or meth seemed to be like responsible recreational drug users but that might be because it was friday and partygoers were in need of their pills and other stuff.
 
If there is anything I've learned it is that there are really aren't any "typical" addicts out there, although I understand what you mean (a lifestyle entirely centered around substance use in one way, shape or form).

That does sound exhausting, but interesting at the same time. Was that something you were doing for work?
 
Yeah should have used stereotypical instead of typical addict. I mean like people with no teeth (although mine are too in need of severe work), shabby clothes, no work, need to hustle for their money while living homeless live (which in here is quite hard especially during winters and even during the spring) and everything revolves around drugs. It is sad but I don't judge them as it is a complicated disease involving socioeconomic status degradation.

Yeah it was for my work. As I said I am doing an article how F2F drug dealing has changed due the introduction of TOR browsers, secure IM apps such as wickr etc.

This my first article that will be released in a magazine with a very high standing in here. I'll be trying to negotiate to keep rights for that article to be mine for english translation so that I can post it in here for free.

The magazine in question is Suomen Kuvalehti, which has been in press since 1916 and it's audience consists mostly of people with academical background and also of people who need or want to know what happens in Finnish society such as politicians and policy-makers and those interested what is going on in our society.

They really liked the draft I send them and didn't want to censor anything or want me to distract readers from real issues but instead wanted me to tell the story as it is.

We also visited needle-exchange and I even helped a random couple to exchange their needles as they were too scared to exchange their needles as sometimes there are same guys working at the needle exchange who also work in ORT clinic where they attend to and that was something that doesn't suit my line of thinking as isn't it quite important for people to use new needles although they do IV their ORT drugs when they get doses at home.

I am still doin some interviews with people we met while on that trip as some of them were interested in to share their stories if they can do it anonymous. Inguess it did help that I had managed to get 50€ gift cards to food stores from the editorial staff to be given to those really in need and movie ticket packs for recreational users.

Edit:
Since Eastern atleast here is a time we spent with our families and close ones we thought this might be a good idea to introduce Artemisia, my fiancee to my family. Lets see what happens from that :)
 
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That's awesome that you A) wrote the article, and B) found a home for it.

I'm just curious, is journalistic reporting on drug use/addiction any better in Europe (or just in Finland) than it is in the US? We see so many articles these days in the States about the 'opioid epidemic' that aren't much more than Reagan-era moralizing.
 
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