Here are some things that have reminded me of you in the last week. I was so lucky to have you in my life. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Frog. At our old house, there was a big frog in the garden sometimes. After he'd appeared a few times, I said "do you think we should name him?". You said "his name is Herbert". So the little frog in my garden is now called Herbert Jr.
Hollyoaks. I remember you moaning about how Mercedes has a long neck. "Like a giraffe".
11.11. 11.11 was your favourite time! Sometimes you'd just text me at 11.11 with nothing else to say but "1111".
Plate. We bought two plates. When we split, you took one. I couldn't even look at it for months afterwards. Now... I use it and I think of you, and hope that wherever you are you're happy.
"Guess what?". It used to infuriate me when you said "guess what?" without any context. So I used to guess the most ridiculous things until you got sick of it and finally told me what I was meant to be guessing.
Fan. Our first summer together it was SO HOT in my little flat you kept saying we should buy a fan. I just didn't want to get in my hot hot car and drive anywhere, so kept being a dinlo and saying fans are STUPID and just circulate the hot air. Finally you convinced me and we got one. 5 seconds after I turned it on I was like "ahhhhhh Marty, you were right!!!". You always mocked me whenever I enjoyed the cool fan breeze. "Is it just circulating the hot air?!!".
Tree. I looked up the big tree in my garden and found out it's a field maple. Apparently they make good bonsai trees. I wish you were here because I could give you a seedling and you could bonsai it. You tried to make a bonsai tree from a sycamore when we lived together, but it didn't work.
Plant. I still have the houseplant we bought together. It's practically a little tree now. I'll always look after it because it reminds me of you. I had another houseplant that my mum got me, but it died when you did. It was weird... it had been fine, but the day after I found out you had died it was all wilted, and it died too.
Film. Into The Wild was your favourite film. I always had mixed feelings about it. When we first got together, I said to you "if you run, I'll run with you". But later I said that I thought Chris McCandless was selfish and thoughtless for doing what he did. Now you're like him, dead too young. I'm so sorry that you had to make the journey on your own. I also know that although you liked the idea of being a leather tramp, you'd never ever have wanted to put your loved ones through what they're suffering now.
Cardboard. You used to torment me by putting the cardboard in the wrong recycling bin. Everything else went in the blue bin, and cardboard in the green bin. You used to wind me up at the most random times -- like I'd be hassling you to do the washing up, and you'd be like "dose the washing up go in the BLUE BIN??".
Henry. I still owe you 25% of the price of my hoover.
Sleep. Sometimes when I'm on the edge of sleep, you're so close I can almost feel you. You're RIGHT THERE but when I reach out for you I snap awake and I remember that you're not here anymore.
Webcam. Turns out webcams CAN be hacked. Maybe you weren't being paranoid.
Buffy. I've been watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer since you told me it's available on Lovefilm instant. It's good, not seen it in years. Thanks for the tip, and also for the tips about
Breaking Bad,
Dollhouse and
Andromeda.
Nice to see you. If I said that to you you'd reply "to see you nice". Silly
Lamb. I think our best and most content times together were when you first got your job at the hospital. It was originally a part time contract, so you weren't under as much stress as when you worked full time. It was important to me that you "contributed" financially - had I known how much less happy you'd be working full time and how much it'd eventually cost us, I would never have wanted you to work full time. The "contribution" you made when you were working part time to my life: you'd get home from work in the early afternoon. You'd have time to relax and be by yourself, then you'd go to the local butchers and grovers. Practically every night I'd come home to home cooked food fresh from these local places. You made the most delicious and incredible dinners. My favourite were your fresh spicy burgers. I'd go on to anyone who'd listen about how great you were at cooking. It was just a mirror of our life really: I can cook well if I have a recipe to follow, whereas you much preferred being creative and just making stuff up, and the results were phenominally tasty. You always danced to your own tune.
Indeed. Indeed!!!!
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