• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

RIP morninggloryseed

This breaks my heart, we're all part of Bluelight, but he was a part of the Bluelight institution and mythology; virtually everybody heard of him at least once, he was a legend and helped many of us.
God rest his soul and give him peace; I wish their loved ones prompt recovery and peace as well.
 
Oh My God!!!

I just came across this now. We have lost a very caring and insightful soul.

He was an exceptional writer and I always appreciated reading of the challenges and triumphs that he was kind enough to share with us.

Shadowmeister (aka Xorkoth): I know how much he meant to you, and how much he did for you. You have my deepest, most heartfelt condolences.

Peace, Love and Faith,
Dreamflyer
 
Oh shit, I think I read a lot of his posts. Bad news. He's in a better place now and at peace...
 
wait what? MGS the guy who was modding CEP and saw life with a far-right angle or whatever? Or alt-right, or neo-con or whatever the fuck they were? He died?

Or were they just a Psychedelic Drugs poster? My brain is so bad but I think I remember them, no?
 
Shadowmeister said:
It is with a heavy heart that I have to announce that our old friend morninggloryseed has passed away. I have seen an obituary to confirm it although I will not post it here in the interest of privacy.

Morninggloryseed had a long and illustrious career in our little scene. He was one of the earliest members and moderators at Bluelight. His Erowid reports inspired a generation, including myself. It is mostly due to my looking up to him that I joined this community in the first place, and started writing trip reports of my own.

Over time we became friends. Although we never met in person, we became close back in 2014, when he mentored me through an ibogaine flood dose, which ultimately saved my life. I loved him like a brother and I will always remember and thank him for that. From that point on we remained close. When he stopped posting a while back I knew in my heart that it was because he had passed away, and sadly, I can now confirm it.

RIP my friend and mentor. I hope you're at peace, wherever you are.

<3
Click to expand...
Sadly, I only lurked for fast answers til I saw this. I regret not joining sooner and conversing with MGS. Most good info i got here was either thru him or a thread he was involved in.
RIP fellow human
 
This is my first time seeing this thread as I don't really use BL anymore but I have known MGS online for 20 years now although sadly we never met. We spent hundreds of hours chatting over the years though and he is one of the true pioneers of the psychedelic and RC of the early 2000s and on. He is a legendary bluelighter up there with Murple and Phreex.
 
He and I became friends. A really wonderful person. I am so sorry to hear this ?. You will be missed MGS.
 
I am not positive what he died from but I'd rather not speculate.

Miss you man. I miss our long talks before and after my ibogaine session. Without you, I may have never gotten up the courage to actually do it, you mentored me through it and you did the best job anyone could. So really, you facilitated my life changing for the better. So much better man, still, I am still that new person, or reawakened person perhaps. In fact even before that, unknowingly through your Erowid reports, you helped me so much, primarily because I saw a reference to Bluelight in one of them and checked it out I was like OMG it's MGS it's MGS, I need to join so I can like reply in a thread he posted in!! =D I was starstruck. But the thing is, right at that time I was having my psychedelic renaissance, exploring very deep places with various drugs. I had no one in my life to talk to about it, my girlfriend at the time was against psychedelics, and my friends from back home all secretly were planning an intervention because they thought I was going crazy just because my trip reports were pretty wild. So I kept it all inside and it was eating me up, and then when I found Bluelight, because of you, I finally had a community of people to connect with and share and realize I wasn't some weird freak (well not in the negative sense anyway, I'm definitely a weird freak =D), other people felt like me and were going through this. I don't know what I would have done without Bluelight back then.

I wish so badly I would have been able to help you more, and that your own path could have stayed in a place of growing and fulfillment after your ibogaine experience. But of course you had so much more life shit to deal with than I did. When you left me a long, desperate PM, I was too tired to reply, I was like I'll do this tomorrow, I really just skimmed briefly and it was about a whole screen tall. Then I forgot because it was a hugely busy work day. I did message you back 2 days later and read the message and it scared me, but you never got back to me or logged back on. I had a terrible feeling that you had passed, but it wasn't confirmed for months... but I suspected strongly. I'm so sorry man, I wish so much that I would have dropped everything and gotten back to you right away. Hell I had your phone number, I should have called. It's something I regret because I think you felt very alone, but you weren't alone, you had me and many others who loved and valued you. It was so tragic.

RIP my friend, mentor and mentee. ❤
 
It's been almost a year and a half since he passed on. I wish that he had been happier. His life had been ruined by a legal situation that made it difficult for him to find any work. He was a great friend. He inspired me to leave an unhealthy relationship that could have been really bad if I had stayed. We spent about a total of a week together considering both visits where I went to see him in St. Louis (one of which with our own 'WanderingGirl' of Bluelight). Before his death, he was extremely depressed. I wish that he hadn't been treated so terribly by the legal system because if not for its terrible results, he would likely still be around. Right before his death, I tried to help by connecting him up with a friend who helped """criminals'""'? to find new work. Heartbreakingly, he had already made his decision to leave this world because he felt so ostracized and alone.?? I loved him as a brother despite the limited time we spent together in person. He may have actually saved my life in the long term by helping me through a really rough patch. I wish I could have done the same for him. He was really between a rock and a hard place. I know I will never forget him and his kindness for as long as I live. I know many of you feel the same. I hope that he knew (even if deep down), how many peoples' lives he changed for the better.
 
Last edited:
lLAylyR.jpg
 
chaosbydesign said:
It's been almost a year and a half since he passed on. I wish that he had been happier. His life had been ruined by a legal situation that made it difficult for him to find any work. He was a great friend. He inspired me to leave an unhealthy relationship that could have been really bad if I had stayed. We spent about a total of a week together considering both visits where I went to see him in St. Louis (one of which with our own 'WanderingGirl' of Bluelight). Before his death, he was extremely depressed. I wish that he hadn't been treated so terribly by the legal system because if not for its terrible results, he would likely still be around. Right before his death, I tried to help by connecting him up with a friend who helped """criminals'""'? to find new work. Heartbreakingly, he had already made his decision to leave this world because he felt so ostracized and alone.?? I loved him as a brother despite the limited time we spent together in person. He may have actually saved my life in the long term by helping me through a really rough patch. I wish I could have done the same for him. He was really between a rock and a hard place. I know I will never forget him and his kindness for as long as I live. I know many of you feel the same. I hope that he knew (even if deep down), how many peoples' lives he changed for the better.
Click to expand...

Never knew the guy but remember the name from years back when I was active poster. But the last few years the amount of men killing themselves (no idea what happened to MGS) due to feelings of isolation and lack of support groups or of knowing where to turn to for help seems to be turning into an epidemic :(
 
chaosbydesign said:
It's been almost a year and a half since he passed on. I wish that he had been happier. His life had been ruined by a legal situation that made it difficult for him to find any work. He was a great friend. He inspired me to leave an unhealthy relationship that could have been really bad if I had stayed. We spent about a total of a week together considering both visits where I went to see him in St. Louis (one of which with our own 'WanderingGirl' of Bluelight). Before his death, he was extremely depressed. I wish that he hadn't been treated so terribly by the legal system because if not for its terrible results, he would likely still be around. Right before his death, I tried to help by connecting him up with a friend who helped """criminals'""'? to find new work. Heartbreakingly, he had already made his decision to leave this world because he felt so ostracized and alone.?? I loved him as a brother despite the limited time we spent together in person. He may have actually saved my life in the long term by helping me through a really rough patch. I wish I could have done the same for him. He was really between a rock and a hard place. I know I will never forget him and his kindness for as long as I live. I know many of you feel the same. I hope that he knew (even if deep down), how many peoples' lives he changed for the better.
Click to expand...

The night he left us, he reached out to me, but I ignored it and figured I'd get back to him the next day because I was tired and feeling out of sorts. The next day I got the message and felt a deep pit of dread. Never heard from him again. Eventually I found the obituary and yep, I missed my friend's cry for help because I didn't feel like it. It's one of my biggest regrets.

I grew up reading his Erowid reports, and looked up to him, he helped to inform my knowledge and approach to psychedelics. I joined Bluelight because he mentioned it in a report, and I was starstruck that I'd be able to talk to him. BL was absolutely necessary for my mental health at the time as I was experiencing a psychedelic rennaisance and none of my IRL friends understood, they all thought I was crazy and my partner at the time didn't respect it at all. In that way, he changed my life.

Then again in 2014, he helped change my life again, far more directly this time, when he mentored me through an ibogaine flood dose. He spent so many hours talking to me and helping me, both before and after. That was when we got close. After that it was more me helping him, but I was glad to do it. I won't go into details about his troubles that led to his giving up on life, but suffice to say it destroyed him.

I miss you dude. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed it the most. Then again... there's only so much anyone can do.

❤
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top