• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

RIP Melange <3

-Guido- said:
A year ago melange had sent me a message, pretty fucking serious. I'm pretty sure he was going to do something he thought was best considering the pain and bullshit he was going through but I managed to talk him down. There were times after that where I would be on the edge and he always managed to get me to stop from relapsing or poisoning myself.

This forum is a beacon of hope in the other wise mundane and shitty life a lot of us live. It isn't easy living life in a world where you are demonized for putting substances in your body that make you happy.

I might not post as much as I do but I am in this forum everyday reading and laughing. My girlfriend recently left me for no reason and I remain sober and alive right now because of this forum. That's why everyone posts here; Because they can forget their troubles to some degree, enjoy a laugh, and not have to worry about being called out for being under the influence. Everyone can be themselves here. That's why melange posted here, I posted here, Tally posted here, it's why everyone posts here.

One of my few regrets was not being able to kick back with melange or Tally. I wouldn't of been able to get high but I could of had a few wine coolers, took my methadone dose, popped a benadryl, and smoked a few Parliament Lights. Melange was a fucking bro and knew how to make everyone laugh.
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Amen. The Lounge used to make me laugh even when I was at my lowest points in the past years. I <3 the Lounge.
 
"Fuck that. I love you more than her-I'll protect you like Snape." -melange

"I guess I'll have to come to Florida and serenade you with a game of naked quidditch." -melange



he was such a charmer...fer realz.
 
man this sucks. good vibes going out to his family right now.

what is going on lounge? stop fuckin dying already. it sucks.
 
-Guido- said:
A year ago melange had sent me a message, pretty fucking serious. I'm pretty sure he was going to do something he thought was best considering the pain and bullshit he was going through but I managed to talk him down.
This forum is a beacon of hope in the other wise mundane and shitty life a lot of us live. It isn't easy living life in a world where you are demonized for putting substances in your body that make you happy.


One of my few regrets was not being able to kick back with melange or Tally. Melange was a fucking bro and knew how to make everyone laugh.
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i second those notions. i was talking to a good friend about this yesterday and she said something that put things into a bit of perspective for me:
"You can only be grateful by giving yourself the benefit of the doubt that you helped him make it through this past year. But it wasn't your fault, sometimes our demons win."

i tried really hard to be a good friend and support system, but lately i wasn't. being a psych major and helping people like him not end up like this being my career goal, obviously i've been partially playing the blame game with myself...that i could've/should've done more, that i've been too focused on myself lately and not helping out my friend enough. but what she said helped ease that a little.

fuck man. reading back through our fb messages (it won't show me anything before march though :\) i see i did try damn hard. man...why didn't you fucking listen! just go see a fucking awesome shrinky dink for christ sakes.
:(
 
I just looked through my FB messages with Tom. I never replied to the last one he sent me because I truly dont remember ever seeing it. It says "help me out man" :( I wouldve done everything in my power to help you, brother. I love you.
 
Tom and I had some great talks recently.. im so glad nothing was held back..

This thread has grown so fast, Tom was loved by so many.... RIP

forever waynecup
 
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Wow, this is unbelievable
I don't even know what to say
 
Damn, after browsing the lounge for the first time in 6 months I read that both Tally and melange died... that really sucks. They were really a large part of what made the lounge great back in the day. Bleh..
 
marissaaaaaa said:
i second those notions. i was talking to a good friend about this yesterday and she said something that put things into a bit of perspective for me:
"You can only be grateful by giving yourself the benefit of the doubt that you helped him make it through this past year. But it wasn't your fault, sometimes our demons win."

i tried really hard to be a good friend and support system, but lately i wasn't. being a psych major and helping people like him not end up like this being my career goal, obviously i've been partially playing the blame game with myself...that i could've/should've done more, that i've been too focused on myself lately and not helping out my friend enough. but what she said helped ease that a little.

fuck man. reading back through our fb messages (it won't show me anything before march though :\) i see i did try damn hard. man...why didn't you fucking listen! just go see a fucking awesome shrinky dink for christ sakes.
:(
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Trust me, talking to him was more than enough. It's incredible how much just paying someone a few minutes of your time can make them feel a little better. A shrink doesn't work for some people because the way they see it, the shrink is being paid to listen to them. They just want someone to take the time, out of concern, and from the heart, to listen and talk to them. You did good, don't feel like you didn't do enough.
 
His mom posted something really sad and beautiful on facebook....

"Thomas I did everything I could to try and help you get better, I have fought so many battles for you, we were making progress, we just ran out of time, I am so glad I was home with you last week, I know you were so worried about me going to Afghanistan but now you will protect me from above, I will never forget when you said you just wanted to put me in a bottle and protect me"

:(
 
She also posted this:

Nice Thomas was messing with me just now, I went in his room to read some of his papers and get on his computer, the lights started flickering like mom get out of my room, so I ignored them I said Ill leave in a minute, but the lights flickered and then completely went out, so I left his room got to the end of the stairs, looked up the stairs and his light was back on.....Ok Thomas but you know me Im going back in your room, Ill take a flashlight...poor Kristina she is scared but Thomas wont hurt us
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he didnt believe in the zodiac either but we were the exact same thing
cancer fire tiger
he told me that was gay
i was 3 days older than him
he told me he liked older women

i miss that crazy guy
 
Sat staring at this reply box for ages. Still don't know what to say. Hurts a lot.

We never even met in real life. We were though. He was still my niggz though.

greenranger.jpg

tws <3
 
thanks for posting that PT.....

god its not any easier today than it was yesterday or the day before....

But little things like that... thank you.
 
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