Ringtone Rendition

[thujone]

Iridium stars glimmering like disco strobes,
Dance electrically in my eyes.
Foggy clouds roll out in coughs
Clearing out the clotting rust
While each tooth resonates in pain
To the tone of a tuning fork struck in my ear.

What’s this crimson in the black and white?
Fading blue and brown away;
Hot river filling concrete canvas…
Ripples of waves destined not to apex.
If you won't caress me cooling in the soft snow
Kindly turn out the moon as you leave
One last kiss to stamp the wax with.

 

[New]

Smooth, biting, your work always describes a twisted world.

 

[realm]

I really like this. I really enjoyed the last 2 lines of it as well, very good ending.

 

[thujone]

thank you, i appreciate the feedback

 

[RareForm]

i enjoyed the diction in which this was dispensed. good job, sir!

 

[empty_remains]

realm is right, the ending rocks!

 

[ControlDenied]

The Battery Breaks

I'm carrying this cancer aura
out of the makeshit yurt e made
butt my future wifes blood. In the waste
all that is bent in creative modes
imprisoning sacrifice motion et all
cost, and the price equal commotion
in the holy king dom
so We Fall
Oh blue waves up my spine-
green piteous, peatiful sacrifice
of Pale niggardly tone
devicing all there milestone zone

 

[thujone]

w