Righteus Rage

[New]

Lungs ripping up from fiery knives
Breath burning up the passages blazed
Arms shaking up from desire entangled
Teeth pressed up in a suicidal fight
Fingers tearing up imagined offenses
Soul lit aflame from filtered thought
Silence's shockwave impacting the night
The only issue with my broiling anger
It is feeling so good as I bask in his might

 

[lostNfound]

I like how i was able to read the first half dont know if it was your intention having written it it in a way that it could be read two ways.

Try this


Lungs ripping up
from fiery knives
Breath burning up
the passages blazed
Arms shaking up
from desire entangled
Teeth pressed up
in a suicidal fight
Fingers tearing up
imagined offenses

And this

Lungs ripping up
Breath burning up
Arms shaking up
Teeth pressed up
Fingers tearing up

from fiery knives
the passages blazed
from desire entangled
in a suicidal fight
imagined offenses



Otherwise reading it as it presents...... descriptive but TBH I couldn't quite get the message, if there was one?!?!

 

[New]

Hmmm...interesting...hadn't noticed that. And the message is in the title and the last two lines.

Thank you.

To elaborate...I was extremely pissed and this was the only thing I could think of to calm down.

 

[2oclockbeanfiend.2]

I don't know if this is supposed to flow like a rap or if its just a poem, but I honestly can't follow it like I'd like to. Nice imagery, though. Thanks again for reading mine. :D

 

[Mehm]

that's intense, great description.

Soul lit aflame from filtered thought

I know this feeling..

It is feeling so good as I bask in his might

Awesome personalization and conclusion.

 

[New]

Thanks...appreciate it.

And no prob.:D