ride of life

[funkee]

Blasphemous catastrophes and unexpected storms
Stall our elevator in between the even floors
And do we deal with the problems we can't stop
On our ride from the bottom to the top?
No, we shake our heads and blame
Those who idle and don't complain.

_____

Came up with that thinking about how my dorm is the only building with no elevator on campus, a bit irrelevant to the point I'm trying to make. Any thoughts?

 

[plazma]

I like this piece, its brief, but I don't feel that it loses anything by being so, and it comes across as nicely contemplative.

-plaz out-

 

[RareForm]

i love the first two lines especially. this definitely suggests an uneasiness.

 

[yakksoho]

Very brief, as plaz said, almost sounds unfinished but the closure of this stanza is complete and the words you use are beautiful
Such small spaces of thought that your words fill up
Like traveling between elevator floors
It is incredible