I've got a question to people who've been cheated on: did you consider going out and getting even by sleeping with somebody else? Has anyone ever done this, and if so, did it work? My friend just found out that her b/f cheated on her and she's seriously considering going out and getting together with a random guy. They both seem to feel it'll wipe the slate clean by helping her get over her resentment and him get over his guilt. I know a couple who've been through a similar situation where both ended up sleeping with other people and now they're married with kids, but the general opinion seems to be that "revenge" cheating is a destructive thing to do. Any thoughts/ experiences?
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Revenge cheating
- Thread starter lola
- Start date
Jerry Atrick
Bluelight Crew
Personally, I believe cheating is wrong regardless of the circumstance.
If I found out my GF cheated on me I'd break up with her sorry ass....and then yes, I would go out and fuck as many random girls as I could find :D
The difference is that I would not have to live the rest of my life with the little voice in the back of my mind asking me if she decided to cheat again. Because hey, you never know![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
If I found out my GF cheated on me I'd break up with her sorry ass....and then yes, I would go out and fuck as many random girls as I could find :D
The difference is that I would not have to live the rest of my life with the little voice in the back of my mind asking me if she decided to cheat again. Because hey, you never know
di.ACE.tyl.rob
Bluelighter
Yeah, it doesn't really work like that. It's just going to bring more drama and complications into the relationship, not to mention it's not that healthy to sleep with random people. I suggest they talk it out and have a serious breakdown of the situation. No amount of sleeping around back and fourth will resolve it. Good luck...
Unbreakable
Bluelighter
I personally confronted my ex about cheating on me(had proof), threaten to kick her out my house and break up with her unless she gave me a 3sum... she was really religious and didn't want to do so...said she never would, but you know what? She ate some good pussy so i was told... and saw... the day after i broke up with her and kicked her out 
Payback is a bitch BITCH!!!!
Payback is a bitch BITCH!!!!
Wow guys, that's some serious revenge shit! I actually feel sorry for your ex, Unbreakable, even though she was clearly a bitch to you... But the idea here is that the other person sleeps with someone else so they can feel even and start the relationship afresh. My friend doesn't want to feel like she's just putting up with his behaviour in a passive way. I don't <think> her idea is to try to hurt him more than he hurt her... but maybe I'm being naive...?
Unbreakable
Bluelighter
The bitch gave me the clap, and she had it good, i worked almost 24/7 was nice to her too and gave her a place to live... all i said, fuck me , clean up and ill take care of you....I was at the time making 70K a year working in IT.... She cheated on me, i found out by installing a "Admin" program on my pc which she used... and found out a ton... i got my revenge... fuck her thank god she didn't give me something worse... took my pills at the Clinic and was told rock a rubber..
Unbreakable
Bluelighter
She was catholic, all she had to do is go to confession and she was cleaned of all her sacrilegious acts and thoughts... I do miss her in a way she was a freak
clara
Bluelighter
I was married once, she cheated on me. And I thought about cheating to get even but divorced her instead. If I had stayed with her I would always have a voice in the back of my head saying "maybe she went shopping, or maybe she's fucking someone else" I don't think it would make her feel anybetter or worse. But that's just me.
Unbreakable
Bluelighter
^ I would of lost my job somehow, had her support me for awhile, than divorce her and got alimony , totally would of gotten if you have gotten proof
Unbreakable
Bluelighter
Sometimes when someone hurts you, and stabs you in a heart with a wedge you gotta rip it out of you... and stab them back with it....
wizekrak
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2000
- Messages
- 4,250
I don't see how hurting someone else can help heal the relationship. But I guess if someone just wants to get back at them and doesn't really care what happens to the relationship.
clara
Bluelighter
Sometimes the damage can be so great that revenge seems like the only plausable recourse. I trusted this person for five years, and after the fourth year she cheated kept liying to me for a year to try and cover it up. And I b eleived her, which made me feel like a fool. She was sorry, wanted counciling but I just wanted out. Once certain bridges are burnt they cannot be rebuilt.
daysonatrain
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2009
- Messages
- 1,371
yeah some people are vindictive like that... oh wait...
ive been cheated on before and it is a horrible feeling however i would never bring myself down to that level just because it happened to me. i highly doubt this situation you posed OP would help the relationship in any way, it sounds like the relationship is already over.
Unbreakable
Bluelighter
A relationship is not healthy if your partner is cheating on you... Why the fuck would anyone want to fix that? that is something they have to "fix"..... If a person doesn't respect you enough and cheats on you; why would you try to heal anything for them? I have to put a effort into something they have shown they don't care about; through there actions... I don't let people treat me like that and than get a Bonner for them the next day...In a matter of fact i want to surprise butt sex them....
opiateslut
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2010
- Messages
- 67
That's pathetic she needs to dump that loser and move on.
When my first girlfriend cheated on me, she confessed after she knew that I found out.
I just stared her in the eyes and told her that I feel nothing for her any more, if she died, if she didn't
I will feel nothing, I had all her stuff at the front door so after saying that I just closed the door and never thought of her again.
Mariposa
Bluelight Crew
Revenge is harmful in and of itself. Likewise with cheating. Put the two together and the potential for it not to go well for someone (or everyone) goes up exponentially.
Don't know who said it, but "Living well is the best revenge."
I can nearly guarantee this won't fix the underlying issue in the relationship - there are far less potentially destructive ways to fix or end a relationship that isn't working that don't involve jumping into someone else's pants.
To answer the question: yes, I have dated one person who cheated on me, and it took me months to even consider dating someone else after I lost trust in him. In fact, I moved 3500 miles away to get away from him partially because I was so disgusted. Sleeping with another guy was the furthest thing from my mind.
Don't know who said it, but "Living well is the best revenge."
I can nearly guarantee this won't fix the underlying issue in the relationship - there are far less potentially destructive ways to fix or end a relationship that isn't working that don't involve jumping into someone else's pants.
To answer the question: yes, I have dated one person who cheated on me, and it took me months to even consider dating someone else after I lost trust in him. In fact, I moved 3500 miles away to get away from him partially because I was so disgusted. Sleeping with another guy was the furthest thing from my mind.
versd
Bluelight Crew
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balancing out the blame and guilt is one thing - i think they need to look at the bigger picture though. why did he cheat in the first place? if there is an underlying cause then that needs to be addressed or its just going to happen again.
i think that it potentially could cause more trouble than it absolved, if his transgression was a mistake, and hers was planned, then that disparity alone can cause issues.
it takes a strong relationship and mutual desire to keep whats special in a relationship which has been affected by a betrayal of trust like cheating. revenge may seem like a good idea, and absolve some of the immediate issues, in the long term its just another thing that gets brought up when things get rough. is it really a good idea in the interests of a good healthy relationship to place more strain on it, add more cracks?
i think that it potentially could cause more trouble than it absolved, if his transgression was a mistake, and hers was planned, then that disparity alone can cause issues.
it takes a strong relationship and mutual desire to keep whats special in a relationship which has been affected by a betrayal of trust like cheating. revenge may seem like a good idea, and absolve some of the immediate issues, in the long term its just another thing that gets brought up when things get rough. is it really a good idea in the interests of a good healthy relationship to place more strain on it, add more cracks?
Tomer
Bluelighter
Sorry, maybe I think differently than some of you, but were not fucking 5 years old. If someone cheats on me, I am not seeking revenge. Just dump their ass and move on. It seems like a really immature act to seek revenge on someone who has caused you pain. Give them a peace of your mind and move on with your life.
Tomer
Tomer