party with care
Bluelighter
reading some of these posts made me want to share with you my first E experience of 2 years ago. I always wanted to document it in some way.
I'll start from the good part - peaking - i spent the entire time crying!! it was amazing! my boyfriend and i spent the entire time in the club in the outdoor section not caring who could see us just pouring our litle hearts to each other! we had never bonded like this before and i never knew i could cry for such long periods of time. for the first time i really did experience true tears of joy!! (yep I always think of the hunters and collectors song now). We both cried and cried discovering more and more about how well suited we were to each other and just how similar we were - (same upbringing, grew up in same area, same degree, same tastes in music across all genres, political and religious outlooks, all this whilst never knowing about each other yet meeting in the middle of the bush kms away from home)
anyway I had been with my boyfriend for almost a year and he is my soul-mate. At the time i had no other friend that understood me like him. I would often tell him "One thing i believe about life is that we are entitled to experience everything to the max - enjoy all the pleasures we can". at the time i was curious about xtc and he told me of his amazing experience with his friends once. I was soo happy i found someone who was also interested in drugs but also sensible about it. (all my friends are very old-fashioned and conservative and pretty anti-drugs). I was alsi stoked i found someone who knew how to obtain stuff like this
i was too much of a straight-A student with only nerdy friends 
)
Anyway, we finally agreed to try it together and he organised a night out to an awesome nightclub in sydney, during the summer festive holiday season. I had never been to a 'night club' before but he'd told me lots of stories. He kept reminding me to dress casual (not like a swanky pick-up joint bar) and that all the ppl there are there only to enjoy themselves and really friendly and look out for each other. I was almost thinking he must be making this up - could such a place exist? sounds a bit too utopian for me... and we learnt this is an unrealistic ideal to believe in at school (negative dumbarses)
anyway he advised i dump half incase it was too strong for me. however after an hour nothing happened. we were convinced they were duds and gave up and got passouts and walked along the harbour. we decided to take the rest but didn't think they'd do anything. we gave the club one more try.
we got some drinks and went to the outside section to enjoy the vibrant night full of music and happy ppl around us. we thought if its a dud we'll still enjoy the night, i mean i'd never gone to such a 'happy' club b4 were ppl were so nice and sincere and sociable and the music just amazing (not dodgy top 40 shit or retro sing alongs)
anyway, we were sitting and chatting and i remember clearly saying "um, this is strange is my mouth supposed to go tingly?" and then my face started to get a little tingly and numb - i asked "i this supposed to happen". I started to go tingly floaty and numb... i got these massive rushes and butterflies and not once did i even move to get this feeling.... the mdma took over...
revelations were made loud and clear in my head - oh you know all the usual stuff when peaking but oh so euphoric and loud that whole "meaning of life, the universe, and everything".
what really singled out that experience is the bonding between my boyfriend and i - we really opened up to each other like never before, and both being socially awkward and bottled-up in our thoughts at the time it was just beautiful to be able to relate so well and to FINALLY OPEN UP! So we cried and cried. All our emotions finally 'let free'!! I remember sobbing saying "i'm finally so happy" with tears streaming down my eyes and him doing the same in return. he had dropped a few times before but only with friends. I remember how beautiful it was seeing him cry as well seeing him open up and let go of all the demons of his past. we consider ourselve to not be very good communicators to other ppl but with each other we finally let go and realised there is no problem we won't let lack of communication hold us back! (see i think i'm doing alright here...)
[also at the same time it was so amusing to see myself cry and cry!! i found it quite amusing and kept pointing it out, also pointing out we were crying in full public and me being amazed that everyone around was just so cool and accepting of anyone and their quirky behaviour]
an hour before closing, my boyfriend managed to pull himself together With the club closing in an hour he said i had to experience the music (haha yep we missed most the night). The hard trance!! the strobes!! the lasers!! the ppl!! the euphoria!! the painful cheeks!! the enlightenment!! you know the rest I love that i can take myself back there and almost feel it again - i love that about xtc you can relive it in your mind!! you remember everything!! You don't need to always take it - you can relive it in your mind for months and that keeps you going and keeps you cool
we figured out everything that was pissing us off in our lives. We managed to finally realise what we need to do to enjoy life, we managed to finally affirm our non-believance in religion (both grew up in religious families), realised there is more to life than working your arse off buying a house and mortgage and marraige and 2.3 kids and 2 dogs and a cat - there is a whole world out there to explore, after years of a childhood of me being teased and bullied and his bad relationship with his dad, we confronted our weaknesses and realised there is no point in letting any of that stuff hold us down we are stronger than that. Some ppl may thing its the MDMA talking, but to this day all that was said then 2 years ago we still believe and work towards acheiving and feel enlightened by the whole experience.
[sorry this is much more mooshy than i expected - but c'mon we are talking about 1st time xtc ....
]
thanks for reading!! peace out *sits here with cheesy grin on face*
%)
I'll start from the good part - peaking - i spent the entire time crying!! it was amazing! my boyfriend and i spent the entire time in the club in the outdoor section not caring who could see us just pouring our litle hearts to each other! we had never bonded like this before and i never knew i could cry for such long periods of time. for the first time i really did experience true tears of joy!! (yep I always think of the hunters and collectors song now). We both cried and cried discovering more and more about how well suited we were to each other and just how similar we were - (same upbringing, grew up in same area, same degree, same tastes in music across all genres, political and religious outlooks, all this whilst never knowing about each other yet meeting in the middle of the bush kms away from home)
anyway I had been with my boyfriend for almost a year and he is my soul-mate. At the time i had no other friend that understood me like him. I would often tell him "One thing i believe about life is that we are entitled to experience everything to the max - enjoy all the pleasures we can". at the time i was curious about xtc and he told me of his amazing experience with his friends once. I was soo happy i found someone who was also interested in drugs but also sensible about it. (all my friends are very old-fashioned and conservative and pretty anti-drugs). I was alsi stoked i found someone who knew how to obtain stuff like this
i was too much of a straight-A student with only nerdy friends )Anyway, we finally agreed to try it together and he organised a night out to an awesome nightclub in sydney, during the summer festive holiday season. I had never been to a 'night club' before but he'd told me lots of stories. He kept reminding me to dress casual (not like a swanky pick-up joint bar) and that all the ppl there are there only to enjoy themselves and really friendly and look out for each other. I was almost thinking he must be making this up - could such a place exist? sounds a bit too utopian for me... and we learnt this is an unrealistic ideal to believe in at school (negative dumbarses)
anyway he advised i dump half incase it was too strong for me. however after an hour nothing happened. we were convinced they were duds and gave up and got passouts and walked along the harbour. we decided to take the rest but didn't think they'd do anything. we gave the club one more try.
we got some drinks and went to the outside section to enjoy the vibrant night full of music and happy ppl around us. we thought if its a dud we'll still enjoy the night, i mean i'd never gone to such a 'happy' club b4 were ppl were so nice and sincere and sociable and the music just amazing (not dodgy top 40 shit or retro sing alongs)
anyway, we were sitting and chatting and i remember clearly saying "um, this is strange is my mouth supposed to go tingly?" and then my face started to get a little tingly and numb - i asked "i this supposed to happen". I started to go tingly floaty and numb... i got these massive rushes and butterflies and not once did i even move to get this feeling.... the mdma took over...
revelations were made loud and clear in my head - oh you know all the usual stuff when peaking
but oh so euphoric and loud that whole "meaning of life, the universe, and everything".what really singled out that experience is the bonding between my boyfriend and i - we really opened up to each other like never before, and both being socially awkward and bottled-up in our thoughts at the time it was just beautiful to be able to relate so well and to FINALLY OPEN UP! So we cried and cried. All our emotions finally 'let free'!! I remember sobbing saying "i'm finally so happy" with tears streaming down my eyes and him doing the same in return. he had dropped a few times before but only with friends. I remember how beautiful it was seeing him cry as well seeing him open up and let go of all the demons of his past. we consider ourselve to not be very good communicators to other ppl but with each other we finally let go and realised there is no problem we won't let lack of communication hold us back! (see i think i'm doing alright here...)
[also at the same time it was so amusing to see myself cry and cry!! i found it quite amusing and kept pointing it out, also pointing out we were crying in full public and me being amazed that everyone around was just so cool and accepting of anyone and their quirky behaviour]
an hour before closing, my boyfriend managed to pull himself together With the club closing in an hour he said i had to experience the music (haha yep we missed most the night). The hard trance!! the strobes!! the lasers!! the ppl!! the euphoria!! the painful cheeks!! the enlightenment!! you know the rest
I love that i can take myself back there and almost feel it again - i love that about xtc you can relive it in your mind!! you remember everything!! You don't need to always take it - you can relive it in your mind for months and that keeps you going and keeps you coolwe figured out everything that was pissing us off in our lives. We managed to finally realise what we need to do to enjoy life, we managed to finally affirm our non-believance in religion (both grew up in religious families), realised there is more to life than working your arse off buying a house and mortgage and marraige and 2.3 kids and 2 dogs and a cat - there is a whole world out there to explore, after years of a childhood of me being teased and bullied and his bad relationship with his dad, we confronted our weaknesses and realised there is no point in letting any of that stuff hold us down we are stronger than that. Some ppl may thing its the MDMA talking, but to this day all that was said then 2 years ago we still believe and work towards acheiving and feel enlightened by the whole experience.
[sorry this is much more mooshy than i expected - but c'mon we are talking about 1st time xtc ....
]thanks for reading!! peace out *sits here with cheesy grin on face*
%)
