Relationships

[CHiLD-0F-THE-BEAT]

^The same can apply to girls, as well. =Shrugs=
The whole, 'It would be just too weird' kinda' thing.

Not speaking from personal experience, but a few of my friends have been in that boat a few times.

 

[up all night]

Originally posted by Adikkal

Its the "Nice Guy Syndrome". From those singles threads i remember reading stuff from many guys: they were nice, courteous, caring, compassionate, treated women like queens and they got no lovin. The reason? Those are not sexually attractive characteristics.

I think the man has hit the nail on the head with that comment. A pleasant demeanour does not equal sexual chemistry.

 

[smileyfish]

Friends always make the most special lovers in my experience. Whether that's one at a time or all in one bed together

For most people, such a view will never be understood. For others it takes sometime to appreciate what the actual implications are of sleeping with someone you've known for years as a mate. Some people can also never seem to shake the moral conscience drummed into us as children.

It certainly has something to do with how much you've thought of that person sexually before the chance arrives. One or two fab encounters usually results in your predictions becoming spot-on. It doesn't mean you have to fuck all your friends, on the contrary, but it does develop an openness that permits intimacy on any level to be just as rewarding.

Disappointment? Maybe at age 16, but these days I can honestly say that for me there is no such thing when speaking in a sexual context. As for long term relationships; well the golden rule observed seems to be - if you aren't best mates at the beginning, chances are there will be no long term.

Right on the money Phase_Dancer (as usual)

Cuddlefish and I started out as best friends. In the 6 years we've been friends (4 and a bit as partners) we've never got tired of each other's company. We trust each other completely and have a very honest and open relationship,

At first, the idea of dating your best friend feels very wrong, but we got over it eventually - along woth a lot of preconceptions about each other and relationships in general. As with any long term relationship, things aren't always rosy, but I think we've got the will and respect for each other to make it work.

Smiley

 

[SkiNLaB]

I hear ya addikal. always keep urself in check, always remember women are evil. they are, even the bible says so %)

i just have some phucked pre-conceptions about 'sleezy' guys. and i missed out on the whole 16 - 21 age of *picking up* so ive been chucked in teh deep end. time 2 learn how 2 swim

(lol there i go again making excuses, phuk im terrible)

 

[Taliana]

"You're so sweet, caring, compassionate and a great listener, but we're too good of friends, i wouldn't want to mess that up"

Sound familiar guys?

TRANSLATION: I am not sexually attracted to you.

*spot on*

hahahhahaha

damnnnnnnnnnn they figured it out ladies, what will we do now?!?!?!?!??

"nice girls go for bad boys"

*spot on also* w0o!

But yeah. I totally agree on the friend thing. However. It can work the other way. Where you both dont do anything because you both dont know, then when one of you finally says something, the other one is now seeing someone. Its happened to me, and it TOTALLY sucked, MEGA crap. It was a case of bad timing for me, but yeah, sometimes it can work.

But IMHO, generally, you can feel if theres chemistry. Although when emotions are involved, what you think might be attraction on there part might simply be them just being them and you creating this mega image and fantasy of you to together that you start believing it could happen. Gah. Stupid fantasies. Drive ya a bit nutty...

 

[KiTTyLiCiOuS]

Nice guys can be hella cunts too...

n its made ESPECIALLY bad, cuz u dont expect shit like that to come from their mouth, or their actions

You just sit back, being blown away...

 

[onetwothreefour]

^^^ 'sif you're posting. good to see you around

 

[MoeBro]

get back on topic you fool!

 

[sydkiwi]

I like being single.

Well mostly..

Sometimes I wish I wasnt.

 

[Adikkal]

Tali said - "But IMHO, generally, you can feel if theres chemistry. Although when emotions are involved, what you think might be attraction on there part might simply be them just being them and you creating this mega image and fantasy of you to together that you start believing it could happen. Gah. Stupid fantasies. Drive ya a bit nutty..."

^^ Now YOU hit the nail on the head I can relate to that for sure.

I do feel that you can transcend the friend to relationship barrier and I have experienced that 1st hand (though it was never an 'official relationship'). It was amazingly close n was such a great connection but in general, it fucked me round something hardcore. Emotions cloud logic and lets just say that during that period it was like a goddamn thunderstorm in my mind. However, that was individual to my situation, not saying everyones sitch is going to be like this.

The friend/relationship thing CAN work, but its a bad approach to take if u want more than friendship. Why wait around letting all the thoughts and feelings within bubble and boil until they finally erupt in some emotionally driven confession of feelings to the friend... if they don't feel the same way then its a fucking hard thing to respond to. Emotions can do very strange things to our logic and often cause us to act in irrational and ineffective ways. To parallel the concept, good fighters stay composed and relaxed, if they get angry they will make mistakes as they begin to act on emotion. How often have you done something when your in a hopelessly emotional state of mind only to really regret it later?

It's exciting to be driven by emotions, but it does not always eventuate in the best result.

Adikkal

 

[Strawberry_lovemuffin]

^ Yes, and not forgetting as a *tactic*, being "friends first" is just manipulation dressed up in nice clothes. Girls can tell if that's what you're doing anyway. You might as well be honest.

 

[syntech]

your right there SLM

but if you've been best friends for say 2 years or more, most sleaze's dont have the patience to stick around that long...though that comment could backfire on me.....meh....who am i to make up rules about the way people are. you cant be certain about anything hey, you always have to play it by ear.