Regional Heroin Discussion v12 aka. Get yer junk out - Still no pricing please.

[kkattastic]

Hello all. It's been ages since i've last posted. I've still been keeping up 2 date with everyones fortunes and misfortunes!
There was not much point in postin d same story over and over bout how crappy d gear still is round here and d country.

There's plenty of stuff to b got but as ructions knows only 2 well, it's still pretty weak.
I can get a bit of a buzz from it if i give it a break 4 a few days but d bags r small and people r still takin d piss by chargin 30euro 4 dem.

D only good thing bout d weak gear is that the sickness is easier to bear, and thats obvious proof how weak d gear is.

I was also wondering if anyone knew if there is a certain amount of times the cops can bring u in 4 a search without finding anything on u.
I was brought in 4 a search last nite cos i was talking to another user on d street and that was d second time in 2 months i've been brought in.
I've never been caught with anything r have never been in court.

I didn't think they cud keep doin this? Dunno if the law is different 4 this in d UK than Ireland.
Maybe they've nothin better to do, but I don't want to b part of them just passin d time.
They never gave me 2 much hassle wen d gear was plentiful.
Typical Ireland tho, always getting stuff arse ways.

Someone else recently posted about police harassment,but they were getting stopped more often than you.
If you were getting searched twice a week(for example),you could probably class that as harassment,but twice in 2 months?No,I don't think you'd have much of a case there.
In theory they can do it as often as they like,but if you consider the frequency to be excessive,you could ask as solicitor or the CAB for advice

 

[trip2themoon]

Need a little info/advice guys. One of the partners in my doctor's surgery deals with drug problems and addictions so I went to see her on Monday, told her my story and gave in my piss sample. I've to go back on Wednesday the 28th to speak to her and the drug counsellor to discuss my treatment options. I work 5 days a week so I can't get to a chemist every day. Is there much (if any) chance I'd be able to get meth' to take away once a week? The possibility of having to go to the chemist 6 days a week is what has been putting me off going to my doctor.

Still nice brown in Paisley dished out in score rocks only by the guy but it's 0.4 and very nice too. I'm both happy and annoyed that I can get good kit because during the worst of the dry up I was saving loads of money by not scoring the shite that was out there.

 

[kkattastic]

Need a little info/advice guys. One of the partners in my doctor's surgery deals with drug problems and addictions so I went to see her on Monday, told her my story and gave in my piss sample. I've to go back on Wednesday the 28th to speak to her and the drug counsellor to discuss my treatment options. I work 5 days a week so I can't get to a chemist every day. Is there much (if any) chance I'd be able to get meth' to take away once a week? The possibility of having to go to the chemist 6 days a week is what has been putting me off going to my doctor.

Still nice brown in Paisley dished out in score rocks only by the guy but it's 0.4 and very nice too. I'm both happy and annoyed that I can get good kit because during the worst of the dry up I was saving loads of money by not scoring the shite that was out there.

It could be different in sunny Scotland,but in my experience there's pretty much no chance of getting take aways at first.They will most likely try and find you a pharmacy that you can get to on your lunch break or that has opening hours that you can access.
It is really hard to manage a script if you work.Not only do you have to have no life to be able to pick up dailys at the pharmacy,but they also do things like script you for a few days,regardless that you have to pay for scripts.

 

[kkattastic]

i just watched a show that said that in 1918 in China,all opium addicts were condemned to death by shooting.
at this time 6 countries,including the USA,hand down the death sentence for drug related crimes
Think I'll stay in good ol' Blighty

 

[ructions]

Need a little info/advice guys. One of the partners in my doctor's surgery deals with drug problems and addictions so I went to see her on Monday, told her my story and gave in my piss sample. I've to go back on Wednesday the 28th to speak to her and the drug counsellor to discuss my treatment options. I work 5 days a week so I can't get to a chemist every day. Is there much (if any) chance I'd be able to get meth' to take away once a week? The possibility of having to go to the chemist 6 days a week is what has been putting me off going to my doctor.

Still nice brown in Paisley dished out in score rocks only by the guy but it's 0.4 and very nice too. I'm both happy and annoyed that I can get good kit because during the worst of the dry up I was saving loads of money by not scoring the shite that was out there.

Hi Trip2themoon! Yeah i had the very same problem, i work & i was on a daily pick up for 5 years, so ti was a real pain! I only got put on take away recently coz i've been giving in clean samples for a good few months now due to the drought.

If you explain to them in the clinic that you are working then they should be able to send you to a chemist that opens late every night. My chemist opens till 7pm Mon & Tue, & on Wens to Fri it opens till 9pm, but it closes at 6pm on Saturdays & everyone normally gets a take away on Sundays!

It is a pain having to rush from work to make it to your chemist, but after 5 years i got into a routine, i would often ring the chemist at 6:55pm telling them that i'm in the car park, so then they would have my dose ready for me. Some clinics will give you take away if you give 6 weeks of clean urines, some may take longer. But make sure you explain to the clinic about your work, tell them you want to get clean & you want to get your life back on track, so losing your job wouldn't do your recovery any good!!

Best of luck i hope you can sort something out! It all seems very daunting at the start, but once you get into a routine you'll be fine! I live in Dublin but i'm sure things are done more or less the same everywhere, plenty of people on scripts have to work as well. My test results were positive for heroin for 5 years, thats why i stayed on a daily supervised dose, but once i got clean(ish) i got take away!! Keep us posted on how you get on!!!!! Take Care mate!!!

 

[trip2themoon]

It could be different in sunny Scotland,but in my experience there's pretty much no chance of getting take aways at first.They will most likely try and find you a pharmacy that you can get to on your lunch break or that has opening hours that you can access.
It is really hard to manage a script if you work.Not only do you have to have no life to be able to pick up dailys at the pharmacy,but they also do things like script you for a few days,regardless that you have to pay for scripts.

We get our scripts for free up here now. If I can get my hands on a few hundred ml on Saturday I might not bother going for a meth script. I can't be arsed going to a chemist every day. Doing a 10 hour night shift then having to worry about getting up in time for the chemist, it doesn't really seem worth it.

@Ructions. 5 years of dirty samples, up here they would kick you off the meth for that.

 

[kkattastic]

We get out scripts for free up here now. If I can get my hands on a few hundred ml on Saturday I might not bother going for a meth script. I can't be arsed going to a chemist every day. Doing a 10 hour night shift then having to worry about getting up in time for the chemist, it doesn't really seem worth it.

@Ructions. 5 years of dirty samples, up here they would kick you off the meth for that.

Aww shit!I've worked nights and I hear what you're saying.
But even if you can buy some now,you would be best to try and get your own script in the end.
I mean,look what happened back in the dark days of the drought.Anyone with meth could have sold it ten times over and at ten times the price.Anyone without meth was in trouble.And the drought is not completely over yet.Also,there may be a time when you cannot rely on your source.It is definitely reassuring to know you have it,legally and with your name on it.
I have not given a clean sample in years.With longer term users,they don't generally pressure you to give clean samples.They are more about establishing a more settled lifestyle.I am only really being encouraged to give those clean samples because of the likelihood of me going to jail.

 

[ructions]

I have not given a clean sample in years.With longer term users,they don't generally pressure you to give clean samples.They are more about establishing a more settled lifestyle.I am only really being encouraged to give those clean samples because of the likelihood of me going to jail.

Thats true Kkat, my Doctor had more or less giving up on me. He always said that it was my maintenance program & i could do it what ever way i liked. I used to tell my doctor that since been on the script i'd cut back a lot on my heroin use & that now i was only using what i could afford to use, which was more or less true!! I'd say over half the people in my clinic are on the script & continuing to use heroin as well!

I bet you enjoyed your bit of gear last night Kkat?! Was it worth the wait? Fair play to you for staying clean for that long!!!!

 

[weevil]

It's available in Norfolk but I've no idea of the quality, I took a first smoke of some today and tried methedrone - it tastes nice! My mate's trying to keep his H used to a payday treat, he reckons as long as he has valium or other downers he's fine. Anything to keep the anxiety and shakes away. I also made him promise to never give me any more, I just wanted to try it the once.

 

[brimz]

weevil you mean methadone yeah !

 

[weevil]

weevil you mean methadone yeah !

Yes! And now I think I've spelt it wrong in every thread I've mentioned it, still I'm sure people will twig, bloody existance of mephedrone making you stick the letter R everywhere! Is it always nuclear green? I wasn't expecting that. I didn't pay for it so it didn't matter if it turned out to be cough syrup, my mate only paid £5 for the bottle, his mate was after cash for cider. It's funny what peoples preferences are, there's not a lot I'd choose cider over, except mephedrone and mostly legal highs, though if my only option was Strongbow I'd pass on all of it and have a brew.

 

[brimz]

No it comes in a brown as well and clear sometimes depends if its sugarfree and what manufacturer.

 

[Glitched]

I've never seen meth in the flesh, so to speak, but assumed all of it was green from when I have read and seen on the TV / internet.

On topic, I have some h from the West Midland area and it's nice. Perhaps not as strong as the last batch I had off the same person but still hugely better than anything else going around in this area. Yes, indeed this is a good new contact. Unfortunatly I can't test myself this time to see what my piss shows because I had an operation yesterday and they gave me morphine, midazolam, diclofenac (spelling) amongst many, many more and I've only got the ten panel tests that test for drug groups. Althought I can't test it and be 100% sure it definatly smells, tastes and feels like the real deal.

 

[ructions]

Another day & still only weak gear available in Dublin. I was in touch with two of the Dublin posters that used to post on Bluelight at the start of the drought & they can only get weak gear as well. Its such a pain i haven't even heard of one report of a bit of good gear available in Dublin in months, everyone is reporting the very same weak stuff available in every area, & i could really do with a proper bit of gear to-day of all days..........

A letter came for me in the post to-day that shocked me to the very core. Its a long story & one i never talk about to anyone, but the good thing about Bluelight is that even though we have all got to know each other fairly well we are all still a little bit anonymous. - When i was a child i went through so pretty upsetting stuff at the hands of an older male family member, i never talk about it so i'm not gonna go into it now. But it went on for years. I grew up & by the age of 17 i left home & i had my own flat & my own life. I have had a good life & i left the past very much in the past.

It wasn't till my late 20's that this stuff started to really bother me, i was depressed & suffering from bad nightmares, i used to think that i saw this family member everywhere, walking passed me on the street, on the same bus as me, in a parked car that i was walking by, but it wasn't him, it was just me going a bit loopy!! I started drinking heavily & i stayed like that for a few years. Then one night (drunk) i told my Mother everything, she is & always was a fantastic Mother, when she heard what had happened to me she blamed herself, but i assured her that there was nothing she could have done coz this person was too clever to have ever go caught.

So to cut a very long story short my Mother confronted him & he lied & lied, he denied everything, you wanna here the awful things he said! So then my Mother & i confronted him & i had a witness there too to verify that what i was saying was 100% true, they had witnessed some of what happened all those years ago. He shouted & screamed & called me some terrible names, but in the end he admitted everything. But he never said he was sorry & he never tried to fix things so we've kept our distance since then, that was about 13 years ago. I have rarely seen him since then, but when i did see him he was never very nice to me.

After that i had to stop drinking coz it made me depressed & i was always crying while drunk, alcohol always brings out self pity in me & i hated that, so i totally gave up drinking & started using heroin (Doh!) & here i am to~day on 60mls of methadone a day & unable to get proper gear due to a poxey drought, over the last 10 months my head has been a bit wrecked over all that happened in the past, the lack of proper heroin has left me going over & over all this stuff in my head, heroin was great for helping me to forget about it all & it helped me to get on with my life happily! & then to-day a letter came to-day.........

I had been told that the family member had gone mad on the drink since i confronted him all those years ago & i had heard more recently that he was gone into a treatment center to get off the drink. Now he has written me a letter saying sorry..... I just got it an hour ago, he admitted everything & this time he didn't try to play it down or blame me. He said sorry & he said it properly. Its a nice letter, yet very hard to read. So what do i do now?

Is he only writing the letter coz he is in treatment & coz they have told him to ask for forgiveness from anyone he has hurt through his drinking? Coz all that stuff years ago had nothing to do with his drinking. I wonder does he really mean it? Or what? Is he just at a low point coz he is off the drink? There has been a huge family rift because of all this, sometimes i think that i might be good for my Mother if we could all start to heal old wounds, but i don't think that i could ever be friends with him again. I don't know what to do? Should i write back? I really do hate him, but for the sake of my family i don't want to do anything to mess up his recovery from alcohol. This is such a head wreck, it feels like its all been dug up again. Because he was so nasty to me since i confronted him i always said that when my Mother died that i would get this family member charged & locked up for what he did. My Mother is old & i didn't want to put her through all that. My Mother has been 1000000% supportive of me, she was the best Mother anyone could ever have! I breaks my heart to see her blaming herself she was the kind'a Mother you see in a Dorris Day film, she cooked & cleaned & did everything for us, i never wanted for anything!!! She had no idea what was happening to me, he was way too clever to ever let her know, i hate seeing her beat herself up over it, no matter what i say she still blames her self Although she is getting stronger these days. I worry about her coz she is a widow & she lives on her own, my Dad died before all this came out. My Mother is getting old, but she is healthy & still driving around & keeping busy!! I see her once or twice every week.

So thats my day so far to-day, i don't know why i'm writing my whole life story on Bluelight, but there you go. I'm rambling on now so i better sign off, I just don't know what to do with this letter, do i respond? Do i forgive? I know will never forget! I am not the kind of person who holds a grudge, i would rather make up & move on with most things, thats always the way i've been, but this is different. If he had said sorry when i first confronted him then i could have started to build bridges, but he was so so nasty to me for years afterwards, i rarely ever saw him but when i did he'd have a go, in saying that i haven't set eyes on him in years. One half of me wants to tell him to drop dead, but then for my Mothers sake maybe i should try build a few bridges? I don't have the strength for anymore arguments, also i don't think that i could ever bare to be in the same room as him or even speak to him on the phone, he makes me cringe & i hate him, maybe i should write back to him? Aw, i don't know what to do.........

I wish i could just score some proper gear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about the long post 8( i only noticed how long it was after i finished writing it! Talk about getting stuff of my chest!!!

 

[charlie clean]

A very touching post, Ructions.

There's no easy answer to the question you ask about how your should respond to this sinner. Yes, it's one of the "steps" patients are encouraged to follow in most alcohol detoxes to apologise and make up for all the damage they've done in the past. He's apologised. Perhaps you can suggest he now makes up for it. If he signs over all his money and possessions to you or a charity that assists abuse survivors, shaves his head and wears sackcloth and ashes for a year, it'll be a start.

Like you, I forgive easily and find some things are best forgotten. But abusing a child is about the nastiest thing one human being can do to another. One letter is far from adequate penance. Without being vengeful, and for his sake, make him pay in the way you decide is most appropriate.

 

[Glitched]

Wow, what a seriously heavy morning to bring back memories and thoughts of a terrible time.

The thing that stood out to be during that post is how much of an amazing person you must be Ructions. You haven't mentioned exactly what went on but have illustrated extremly well how terrible it was yet you are still genuinly worried about this person and wondering wether to write back or not worrying that you could mess his rehab up if you don't. I take my hat off to you, seriously. I don't know if I could hold that level of care for someone if they had done something so bad to me.

I really don't know what to say in response to your questions. It could help your own mentality about past events to use this time to cure, replying could help that or not replying could help that. All I would say is be selfish this once and do what's right for you Wether you write back to him or not is perhaps something only you can answer as you are the only one here who knows exactly what happened. I know I don't know you well in the slightest but if you did want to talk over PM and not publicly I would be more than willing to be a pair of ears for you. I am not meaning to pry here or be nosey in any way, shape or form but it sounds like you could use someone now and I am stuck in bed for the next few days so have nothing but time.

G

 

[kkattastic]

@ Ructions.Nobody can answer those questions but you.Only you know what you can forgive and what you cannot.I would suggest you show your mom the letter and talk it through with her.
I was also using gear to distance the hurt that someone did to me.I don't think I can ever forgive him for what he did.But that's just me.I am not a very forgiving person,I guess.But I also know he will never apologise as he doesn't believe he did anything wrong(he's just a very self righteous person in general).I say 'was' using the gear as it's about more than just that now.But at the time it was the only way I could deal with the pain.

 

[Glitched]

It is a great drug to help through bad times isn't it. I don't claim to have had the hardships that you guys are talking about but when I have had downs it surely does help.

 

[ructions]

Charlie Glitched Kkat Thank you so much for your warm response, this is not something that i ever talk to anyone about except to my boyfriend. Its not something i that i ever feel comfortable talking about, i'm sure Kkat understands exactly what i mean by that.... After posting the post i felt a little bit weird for pouring it all out, i felt a bit stupid, kind'a silly. But the warm response has made me feel much better, its amazing how much better a few kind & understanding words can make you feel.

I have read over the letter again, i'm still not sure what to do about it? Its dug up some horrible old feelings. My biggest regret is ever telling my Mother, it upset her so much. Its great that she has been there for me since, she has been a great support. But telling her didn't change the past, it only shattered her world from the happy life she knew into a dark nightmare. I should have never upset her with all this crap, i'll blame the blasted drink on that! Thank god i don't drink anymore, drink can make me do & say things that i shouldn't never do or say! I wish my Mum didn't have to go through all this upset

But i am really glad that i spoke to my pals on Bluelight, yous have all been a rock to me over the last 10 months! I would have gone crazy if it wasn't for everyone on Bluelight, its so great to be able to talk to other people who can totally understand how frustrating this drought has been! & now with my latest problem i find that again the Bluelight crew are my rock again! I'm so glad i found this site & everyone on it. I don't talk to any of my old friends or family about my heroin use or about what happened in my past, i'm so glad i have you all here to talk with, laugh with & cry with!!! XXX

I rang my Mum & spoke to her about the letter as you suggested Kkat, she seems some what revealed, she has never been able to forgive him for what he did, but i know she wants him to get sober & deep down i think she would like some sort of bridges built with in the family. I would do anything for my Mother coz she would do anything for me. So i might write back at some stage, but for now i have passed a message back through my Mum, i asked her to talk to him & to say i got the letter & i am glad that he admitted that he was wrong in what he did, & i said to say that it would mean a lot more if he stayed sober for good now, otherwise the letter means nothing! My Mum seems relieved, thanks Kkat for suggesting that i talk to her about it!!! XXX

Thanks again everyone, i'm gonna bring my doggie for the longest walk ever!! Thats when i do my best thinking!!! Catch yous all later gator.

@Kkat, i'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through such hell when you were younger, looks like you & i have even more in common! I'm always here if you ever need to chat, i have never spoke to anyone else who has had a similar experience. XXX

 

[Glitched]

I'm glad that you feel a lot better now if nothing else. Kkat, from what she has posted understands far better than myself but my offer of a chat still stands even if it's in the future. You know where we all are if you need to get things off of your chest and I know I speak for the majority here in saying that if we can help at all we will.

Go for your walk, find a big field and scream if it makes you feel better or just enjoy the fresh air and the company of your dog. This 'man' had hurt you once already, don't let him interfere with your feelings anymore, that means from now!