So yesterday, I failed myself and my treatment!
I've been in treatment for heroin addiction for over 10 weeks now. I am currently just in the maintenance phase (I am prescribed Injectable Morphine Sulphate ampoules. I get 3 amps a day. The amps contain a solution of 30mg/ml of Morphine Sulphate and are 2ml in size... so I get 3 amps of 60mg each day [180mg of IV morphine a day].
I plan to start reducing soon. I start by reducing the number of injections I do each day so the first step will be to change my prescription to 2 amps/day [same strength... 30mg/ml in 2ml amps. So 120mg of morphine a day in 2 injections] and some MST pills (instant release and I will be asking for a minimum strength of 100mg but a prefered strength of 150mg]. That way I will do 2 injections and take an MST pill (if they don't do 150mg pills, and I don't think they do, then I will take a 100mg and a 50mg pill instead of an injection).
I will repeat this for each of the 3 injections so after a few months I will be down to 450mg of MST pills taken orally not IV (which is why I need more than 60mg... since taking pills orally will not be as effective as an IV amp).
Anyway, once I am onlyu taking pills, I will get the doctor to start reducing the dosage until it is down to nothing. Once I am free from opiates, I will be getting a naltrexone implant. These implants completely block all effects of opiates and they last 3months (however, they cost about £550 each
but at the minute, I pay £65 to the doctor every 2 weeks and £128 every two weeks for my medication... so that's nearly £200/fortnight so about £433/month which equals approx £1300 every 3 months so the implant is a huge saving). However, MST pills are ALOT cheaper than injectable morphine sulphate amps so the amount I pay to the chemist will slowly reduce as I move from IV meds to oral meds.
I rec
Ahhhhh just checked
online and you can get 150mg MST pills. You can get 200mg MST pills (maybe I will try to see if the doctor will replace a 60mg IV amp of morphine sulphate to a 200mg MST instant release pill... I doubt he will. I'll defo be able to get 120mg and probably be able to get the 150mg but I think 200mg will probably be too much to ask for.
Anyway I'm rambling about my treatment.
The reason I failed is because yesterday, I scored for the first time since starting treatment!
I rang the guy (around 2.30pm-ish) and got £10 dark and £20 light (1&1 for £25). At about 5.00pm, I rang him again and got another 1&1. Then at about 9pm, I rang him again and got 2 dark and a light (1&1 for £25 and £10 for a dark).
I had £150 cash and I spent:
- £10 on cigs, lighter, citric (a big fucking bag that I will never be able to get through even if I was using gear daily, it would take me months to use it all) and a few beers. [£140 left]
- £25 on the first 1&1 [£115 left]
- £25 on the second 1&1 [£90 left]
- £35 on the 2 dark and 1 light [£55 left]
If I had any of my amps, I wouldn't have bought any dark, I would have just bought light but because I used the last amp when I woke up at around 9am I needed the dark to help come down from the light. I didn't dig all the the bags. I smoked 2 and a half of the bags and did 2 digs with the other 1 and a half bags. I actually really enjoyed smoking it (I haven't smoked gear for a LONG time as when I wasn't in treatment, I struggled to get cash to buy a bag a day (where I lived at the time, nobody did £10 bags they were all £20 bags) so when I got my bag each day I would just dig it so I got the most out of it.
Anyway, I really really fucking enjoyed all that light but it has put me in a shit position.
My new prescription started today so I was meant to be paying the chemist £128... instead I paid him £48 and still owe him £80. If I hadn't spent all my script money on light and dark, I would have fully paid off my script. Now I'm going to have to pay for my script in instalments. I'll pay £25 on Wed (that's my next pick up day [pick up days are Mon, Wed and Fri]) leaving £55 to pay. I'll pay £15 on Friday leaving £40 and next Monday and Wednesday I'll pay £20 on each day (then the script is fully paid). I really wish I hadn't spent my script money! Not just because it's fucked me over money wise but because I scored all that light and dark and now I really am dying for another stone. I need to try and locate £20!
Gutted!
Oh well, as long as I don't make it a regular thing of seeing him, then it isn't a massive fuck up. it's more of a little slip up in my treatment!
The gear was mediocre (5.5/10 or maybe 6/10) and the white was pretty good (7.5/10).
However, The fact that I had 4 bags of it and an amp earlier in the day meant I got a semi-decent nod!
The worst part is, this dealer... I got his number from someone who lives a 35minute bus drive away (in Croydon) and I thought I had to go there to score but he actually lives closer to me than Croydon (he lives in Purley) so he is happy to drive to me and drops off pretty much right outside my house!
Your right to fear the worst kat, anthing else is a bonus right? ;-)
One thing, I know that if u ever get caught selling meth it can seriously fuck with ur script-they might cancel it, or insist on daily supervised for the rest of ur life-u need to find out if theres any danger of this if ur found guilty. Maybe find out about getting a private script in case? If thats possible at all for u financially. Also, I really dont think youll do bird but if u were to, whats the deal in prison now with prescribing? Would u be given ur current dose of meth and other meds daily, and not made to taper or stop? Im sure the days of giving u a couple days worth of valium or forcing you over to subutex are gone right? I hope so, if not for ur sake (cos u aint goin down) for any other poor fucker who gets chucked in a dirty cell for as little as doin a bit of brown, when there are wife beaters, rapists, paedos and terrorists out there gettin away wiv murder!
I'm pretty sure (not 100% but about 80%) that when you go to prison you are immediately given treatment. If you are already on a meth script they may continue with it but if not then you are given subbies!
The reason I know about this is because the private addiction clinic I am getting my treatment from played a huge part in changing the way heroin addiction treatment worked in prisons. They basically put a really good case forward for the prisons to provide subbies whenever possible or at least this is what the newspaper article says that they have framed and hung in the waiting area. They also have another newspaper article framed and hung up that talks all about the clinic and how good it is. It also has a part about how the owner of the clinic got into a lot of trouble with the GMC because they were prescribing pure heroin (diacetylmorphine) to patients on maintenance scripts (not reduction scripts) and two of the little cunts who had worked up their trust with the clinic and got to the point where they were at two pick ups a week. (At first, you have to do daily pick ups for about 6 weeks, then you move to 3 times a week [for about 2 and a half to 3 months], then to 2 pick ups a week [for quite a while] and finally to 1 pick up a week. You can bve downgraded too... I was on 2 pick ups a week but one week I overused and had to basically get them to adjust my script with the pharmacist so that I could pick up the remaining 4 instalments [out of 6] a day early [so instead of Sat {9}, Tues {12}, Sat {9}, Tues {12}, Sat {9} and Tues {12}... it became Sat {9}, Tues {12}, Fri {9}, Mon {12}, Fri {9} and Mon {12}. When I went to my next appointment, I got downgraded to 3 pick ups a week... Mon {6}, Wed {6}, Fri {9}]). Anyway, these two cunts were picking up there pure and sterile heroin (diacetylmorphine) [I'm unsure of the dosage] and what they both did (these were isolated incidents and the two people were nothing to do with each other) was go for one of there 2 pick ups and then used the entire dose for half of the week in one go. This resulted in both of them overdosing and dying!
So the owner of the clinic had his medical license taken away from him, the clinic was put under heavy surveillance and checked to see if they followed the correct procedures for prescribing strong opiates. Now they categorically will not prescribe pure/sterile heroin (diacetylmorphine). They are allowed to and still have a license to do so but because of those 2 cunts they won't do it! The numbers above are the numbers of ampoules I pick up from the chemist (Ampoules = Injectable Morphine Sulphate Ampoules [2ml of 30mg/ml solution, 60mg total])
Now the best you can get from them is injectable morphine or injectable methadone. You can get a script that contains both injectable morphine and methadone. I opted to not have the methadone for 2 reasons...
- It is much harder to get off (so when I finally start the reduction process, it will take much longer)
- It would mean that I would not be able to get any kind of buzz from my morphine amps when I take them (Instead of doing 3 x 2ml (60mg) injections a day, I do 2 injections a day... the first one with either 4 ml (120mg) or 5ml (150mg) and then either a 1ml (30mg) or 2ml (60mg) injection just before I go to sleep. When I do the 4/5ml dig, I get such a great rush (but no nod... I have to work and I couldn't go to work with a nod!).
If I had the methadone amps, I would have 2 options...
- Use them daily and then never be able to get high from gear or morphine a day OR
- Not use them and save them up and only do them at weekends with morphine. they come in 1ml amps (50mg/ml solution). So I could do a 5ml injection with 4ml morphine and 1ml methadone and get a proper rush and a good nod from the two mixed together. The problem with this is I would end up with a huge surplus of methadone amps that I am not using and they aren't cheap. (My morphine amps cost £128/42 so about £3 each. The meth is about the same. So if my script had 1 meth amp a day... it would cost me an extra £42/fortnight or £170/fortnight/ That may not seem like a lot but when you think, I am already paying £128 for the meds, £65 to the doctor and £80 to the psychologist every fortnight then an extra £42/fortnight makes it even harder for me to manage (I can easily pay for my treatment and living costs [rent, bills, etc] but I barely have any money left to do things at the weekend... let alone treat myself to DVDs, clothes, cinema, bowling, restaurants , etc!)
Anyway, in answer to your question.... I'm pretty sure your given subbies and possibly meth if your already on a script for it.
P.S. I have an amazing habit of being able to go totally off topic and ramble on about something that is nothing to do with the OP!!!! I apologise for that!
