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Recovery Journal

Well fuck.

Now I'm worried. I took 12mg of Lope and... Feel human again! Like totally normal.

Now what? Lol. God, my addict brain is useless.
 
Thanks man. These few hours of relief have been a gift. I'm using every second to lay still nose to nose with my son. I haven't been able to do that in a week....
 
Nice! That's a huge fucking accomplishment, so maybe you can do something small to reward yourself. You certainly deserve it! Keep up the outstanding work, you are an inspiration to us. I know I keep saying it, but it is just so true, seriously :) <3
 
If I can slay the monster and reading my post helps even one person to gain strength and fight, then I'm happy. Honestly, I'm here because I need(Ed) exactly that myself.

And you all have provided it in spades. Thank you.

As day 11 comes to a close, I finally feel some normalcy. I'm not out of the woods yet, by any means, but I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I'm now confident that the damage is repairable and that I can live a sober life. But I digress... Tomorrow could bring the opposite attitude. Every day is a battle. Understanding that is crucial.

Lots of work to do.

Much love and endless thanks. I'll check back tomorrow!
 
14YearsOfFlux said:
Well fuck.

Now I'm worried. I took 12mg of Lope and... Feel human again! Like totally normal.

Now what? Lol. God, my addict brain is useless.
Click to expand...
Awesome news! I have a friend who's taken 12mg lope a day for years with no ill effect. Nothing to do with addiction, It's prescribed to her because she suffers with bad IBS. My point being you really don't need to worry about 12mg lope every so often, particularly if it does the job! :)
 
Day 12.

I think I really turned a corner yesterday. I slept for SEVEN HOURS last night! For those who have gone through it, you know how big that is.

Woke up feeling normal, just groggy. Haven't been taking any comfort meds since last week and have probably made this harder on myself then necessary.

But after 14 years with NO downtime longer than 48 hours... I had to. Not to punish myself, but to burn into my brain the horror that is detox and WD.

That said, I'm up, had some coffee, a nice breakfast, read a good portion of my book and am having a great day. I just have NO energy is all. I think some good food and exercise will go a long way.

Guys, I know it's always a "my addition is worse than your addiction" pissing contest on here, but I gotta say.... If I can do this, SO CAN YOU.

Feeling as shitty as I did on day 10 almost broke me in half. Feeling as great as I do on day 12 has assured me I can do this.
 
Sounds great!

Seven hours of sleep is a godsent gift when in withdrawals atleast for me so I can relate to that. I hope you get your normal energy levels back soon so you can start enjoying life as it is.

And yes you can do it!
 
Flux -

I'm so glad you feel better! I've been traveling for work all week and had limited internet access the past few days, but I caught up on your posts and I'm sorry you struggled that long.

The he lack of energy is hard, but temporary. And you are on the right track with good food and exercise helping.

You are seriously an inspiration. Thank you!

- VE
 
Day 13 and I feel ahead of schedule.

No Lope for two days and yet I feel consistently normal. I find that I'm very energetic in the mornings, fade out from about noon-4 and then seem to regain a little more energy each day.

I'm really impressed with my brains ability to heal as well as its elasticity. 4 days ago, I thought I'd never be the same. I felt permanently damaged and unable to be reworded. That outlook has done a 180!

I know it's only been barely two weeks... So I remain vigilant; yet extremely hopeful.

Wouldn't have made it past 24 hours (as per all previous attempts) if not for this forum.

Thank you guys sincerely. Wish i could hug every one of you.
 
Muzda Jonxx said:
Weird thing to say. Just a bloke euphoric about being comfortable sober after a decade and a half. Natural euphoria, it can't be beat. It rocks.
Click to expand...

Exactly. Just expected the worst and it ended up being that I've made more progress so far than j thought I would.
 
I'm so glad you have turned a corner! You are going to stick around now that you are feeling better, right? My quit date is right around the corner, so I will be needing you to remind me that there is a corner to turn eventually...

congratulations on the beginning of a better life with you and your son!

Hows the energy levels? Still pretty low?

- VE
 
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