CalmG
Bluelighter
Hi guys!
I used to be very innocent, always lost in the moment, free spirited, emotional little gay hippy raver boy. Examples - used to take homeless people back to my house for a cup of tea (wouldn't do this now), used to sing at top of my voice whilst walking home through city.
Got into abusive relationship with collegue, cost me my job, ruined my live.
Now I'm really introverted, can't get lost in the moment, speak differently, view world differently, not really alive.
Before was very tactile, socially capable, party animal.
Anyway to get me back? I know innoncense isn't something that can be regained and am well aware of the nastier things in life now, but I feel like I have died. A friend once described me as the 'most vibrant and interesting person he knows' (love that compliment haha!) but now I have no life in me whatsoever, quite bitter and annoying to be around at times, don't even like dancing anymore and have been this way for maybe about a year. Guy shattered my confidence you see. Don't speak anymore that much. Obsessivly thinking about how badly this dude fucked me over. Dunno how to get 'me' back and loose myself in the moment, or if this is even possible, I know life changes us all in a lot of ways but wanna get my old charaismatic self back. Also I know its bad idea to life in the past and focus on old self, maybe need to think of a new identity to take up.
I used to be very innocent, always lost in the moment, free spirited, emotional little gay hippy raver boy. Examples - used to take homeless people back to my house for a cup of tea (wouldn't do this now), used to sing at top of my voice whilst walking home through city.
Got into abusive relationship with collegue, cost me my job, ruined my live.
Now I'm really introverted, can't get lost in the moment, speak differently, view world differently, not really alive.
Before was very tactile, socially capable, party animal.
Anyway to get me back? I know innoncense isn't something that can be regained and am well aware of the nastier things in life now, but I feel like I have died. A friend once described me as the 'most vibrant and interesting person he knows' (love that compliment haha!) but now I have no life in me whatsoever, quite bitter and annoying to be around at times, don't even like dancing anymore and have been this way for maybe about a year. Guy shattered my confidence you see. Don't speak anymore that much. Obsessivly thinking about how badly this dude fucked me over. Dunno how to get 'me' back and loose myself in the moment, or if this is even possible, I know life changes us all in a lot of ways but wanna get my old charaismatic self back. Also I know its bad idea to life in the past and focus on old self, maybe need to think of a new identity to take up.