Opioids Recently off Oxy unexpectedly, Tapentadol and PAWS questions...

[SaosinEngaged]

I've had a hell of a month. I've been a low dose but consistent Oxy user for the better part of 2 years. I peaked at around 60mgs/day which really isn't all that bad, but is still a definite habit. It never really negatively impacted me; I was only spending disposable income and I didn't hide the habit from my fiancee, but I still ended up having the floor dropped from under me.

One day, my source completely dried up. No more access to Oxy for at least a few months. The problem being that I was totally NOT ready to quit and found myself mentally overwhelmed faced with the realization of going without my crutch, cold turkey no less. I made due with Kratom tea for several days to stave off the physical w/d which actually wasn't as bad as I expected, but the PAWS has been completely and utterly destroying me. As I said, I wasn't prepared mentally to get off Oxy so quickly, so that definitely played a part. For the past 2 weeks (roughly two weeks since my last Oxy dose), I've been struggling with the absolute worst depression and lethargy I've ever had in my life. It's almost soul-crushing. I was using Oxy for three purposes: recreation, depression, and to dull chronic back pain I have from a car accident (I've never seen a doctor for it, never really wanted to go through the riggamaroll of it and for fear that I'd push too hard to be prescribed the very thing I've been abusing in a controlled setting by limiting the amount I buy mustering all my willpower- else I'd be at 300mgs/day by now).

Anyway, the point is I need something right now because I feel like I'm slowly descending into madness. Kratom was great for w/d but really doesn't do it for me for recreational purposes, this horrible PAWS depression, nor does it help my back.

A coworker is prescribed Nucynta 50mg and they do not take all of their monthly prescription, therefore I can pretty much get as many as I want. I've taken them roughly 5 times now, and never found them to be even remotely pleasurable, anti-depressive, or capable of ameliorating my back pain. Over the past 3 hours, I've taken about 200mgs and just feel similar to the heavy feeling of buprenorphine or benzos.

At this point, I'm greatly in need of advice and opinions. Is there any good way to potentiate the Nucynta? I've read DXM can, but I'm really not into that. I have several flexeril left over from my hospital visit for my back and a healthy supply of Klonopin. I've been using Klonopin semi-regularly to help get through the anxiety related to the depressive slump I've been in. What about a beer? I also just purchased what is supposed to be a stronger kind of Kratom, so I'm hoping to have better success with that as well. In general however, I know very little about tapentadol so I've been pretty cautious with it. I've never taken more than 100mg at a time because it seems to increase side effects without adding euphoria.

I don't know guys, I just need to vent and get some opinions. Even though my Oxy habit wasn't huge, like I said I totally wasn't prepared to quit and I now feel like I have a massive void in my life, and as a result am REALLY suffering through pretty bleak depression.

Please forgive the fact that this topic is kind of all over the place (and if I posted this in the wrong forum). Thank you guys.

 

[Flabu]

I am having the same problem you are having except I had a very heavy heroin habit. This is the 10th time I have quit and am suffering right now more than I have before.

I keep thinking to myself, whats the point of staying clean if its this miserable?

I know it sucks, but what has helped me is to try to keep yourself occupied with things. Watch movies, play video games, whatever floats your boat.

As for all the drugs you listed, I currently take Suboxone 16mg a day and Klonopin 1 mg a day. Both are helping but I still am having trouble like yourself.


I think the key to this all has gotta be just letting go and to try to trick yourself into associating using with negative thinking. Easier said than done, but is possible.

This is the best advice I can offer, I hope things work out for you and you can move on and live your life to the fullest.

 

[SaosinEngaged]

Thanks very much for your response. Yeah, I totally get the "associating something negative" with opiate use thing. The problem is, opiate addiction really hasn't taken anything from me yet so it's hard to get in that mentality even though I know it's true and probably will in the future.

Unfortunately, Oxy has been my "cure all" for depression, anxiety, back pain, motivation, and recreation. So now, in the absence of it, and without the mental preparation many go through before they choose to quit, I'm left picking up the pieces and really not handling it well.

 

[SouthieOC]

I feel for you. I went through it about 3-4 months ago. W/d symptoms were absolutely horrible. Then I got some! And then I got arrested for something unrelated and honestly not my fault so I went through w/d in jail (firstand hopefully last time in there). Fortunately, I swallowed my last 30 while in handcuffs although I didn't feel it being so overwhelmed with the whole jail thing. After I got out, I came home and started taking perc 5's which obviously aren't Oxy's but they helped some. A month or so later and I was out of everything. It's been almost a month I think now without anything and I'm still depressed. Fortunately, I think I might be getting a few Oxy's soon Hopefully, my tolerance level is way down and I can keep myself from not doing more than one a week. I am on probation after all!

When I was using, I was doing about 1-3 30's every day for about 6 months. I wasted a lot of money but I'm young and had a good job so it paid for my habit. Nice car and bills were being paid, etc. Now since my arrest, I lost all my money, job, car, friends, etc. Life sucks so I figured I'd waste my last few bucks and be happy for a little bit. Good luck!
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[effie]

Heya SaosinEngaged, sorry to hear you've been having a rough time..

I can't help much with a lot of this as I don't have any real experience in it, and tapentadol isn't common at all in the UK where I live, but reading your post a couple of things struck me.. firstly, congrats on getting through the two weeks - after 2 years on oxycodone, that must have been pretty unpleasant, so well done! You should be really proud of yourself. I understand how hard things are at the moment, especially with your back pain as well.

Secondly, I think you need some professional help to get you back on your feet. Here in the UK, you could get help with both opioid dependency and pain management, but I appreciate that sometimes if you ask for help with a drug abuse problem that might impact on your ability to get decent pain-management as doctors refuse to prescribe you opioids.. what do you think you most need help with right now? The way I see it you have 3 main issues - coming off the oxycodone, back pain and pre-existing depression which is obviously worse at the moment. I appreciate you being anxious about being prescribed something that you have worked hard to keep under control, so perhas focussing on a different area and non-opioid analgesia wouold be best.

Do you feel like tackling the depression you say you were treating with the oxy? Have you thought about counselling, CBT, antidepressants? I'm glad Klonopin helps your anxiety, but be careful you don't develop a benzo dependency now..

I could be wrong but it sounds like the psychiatric/psychological difficulties you are having are the things that need really addressing at the moment. This could well help ease your back pain as well, or at least make it easier to cope with. Other than that, things like spending time with your fiancee and friends, exercise, eating well and looking after yourself, relaxation techniques, distraction techniques and talking to others going through what you are going through can really help. Take a look at The Dark Side forum on here, it's full of lovely people and many have been through similar experiences to you. You could also try free online CBT resources such as MoodGym and Living Life to the Full. Does your financee know how you are feeling, and is she supportive? Having people to talk to can really help.

For your back, I'd definitely take the muscle relaxants if they help - have you had any physio? Tried any other pain-killers that helped, especially non-opioid ones? If any of the pain is neuropathic (originates from irritation to the nerves leaving your spinal cord, for instance if you have a prolapsed disc) then something like gabapentin or amitriptyline can really help.

It's been quite complicated replying to you, as you have a couple of intertwined problems. Tackling one area is likely to really help with the other, so i would have a think about getting some proper professional help. You are certainly not alone in feeling how you do, and I hope you at least consider some of the things I have mentioned and that things start to look up soon. Good luck