Yes Kah8, I am aware that it was an extremely high dose, thanks bro...............I am starting to feel better...I played a video game for the first time since this all started today and did not freak out. I could actually get into the game without the fear of losing my mind. I saw a counselor for the first time last week but didn't really feel comfortable with her. You are very right that as soon as you mention drug use they change there attitude with you. I told her about my past drug use and she said 'how did you manage to take care of your daughter; like I was some terrible person with my kid being neglected or something. The people at the hospital acted like I am was junkie too. No more hospital visits for me, they are pretty clueless and condescending about this kind of thing. When this all started I was prescribed ativan by the doctor, was on that for about two weeks, it did sedate me but did not stop my fear and panic. Well after going to the hospital 4 times this past month, having an MRI, numerous EKG's and almost being admitted(they didn't have any room that night)l i think i have found a combination that will work for me- for now.So I have been taking xanax as needed(needed a lot) throughout the day for my anxiety which has helped me get a grip.TRUST me I had been afraid to take ANYTHING at all,do not like the idea of being medicated, and even freaked out from taking a melotonin, but i need these medications right now-I cannot do it on my own! At this point becoming dependent is a non issue for me. I will just have to deal with the withdrawals if and when I am ready to stop..Also I had started celexa on my own that i just had laying around which seemed to help. The celexa really increased my energy and I felt interested in things again, felt 'with it' and not in some other world. The doctor said that he wanted me to try zoloft because he could have more range on increasing the dosage over time;I started that yesterday and am feeling like crap again. It has helped with my anxiety in a way(muscles calmed down) but made me extremely zonked, disassociated again, and very depressed.I now know through my own research that zoloft has been known to cause panic attacks and other nasty SE when first starting out for the first months THANKS DOC! So I have been on zoloft yesterday and today -25mg-..the only reason I took it again today was because my boyfriend insisted that i just follow what the doctor said.Tomorrow I am taking the celexa!!I guess I just have to take this in my own hands and do what makes me feel the best not the doctor.As for trying natural supplements(Mostasteless) I have been researching that also. I was wondering about 5-htp and if it would help me better than an ssri..I will look into the Ginko Biloba also and I have been taking vitamins all along.Thank you for your responses, this has been one of the hardest times of my life, I thought that I had anxiety before...It was never like this.Now I truly know what it is like to be out of your mind. I wonder if this is something that I will have to deal with forever...idk...I do know this LSD is not to be messed with if you have serious mental conditions already, those things need to be worked out beforehand...I always wanted more...more drugs, never high enough, boy have i learned my lesson. I am mad at the person that gave me the lsd and suggested that we do more when we thought it wasn't working.....they had a fine time.Never trust anyone when it comes to things like that.