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Really need some advice on this

K

Karmaki

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 11, 2013
Messages
2
Okay so this will be long. sorry in advance.
I am currently dating this guy I dated back in 9th grade. We broke up because he was moving. Years later we started talking again and eventually started dating.
I was uncertain about dating him at first because he had a daughter with another girl and I am a bit uneasy around kids (I'm only 19 and not ready to help raise a kid). He only has her every other weekend and we don't live together so it isn't really an issue with us.
I used to be friends with two of his exes who both started slandering my name when they found out I was dating him and they gave up their friendships with me. (I blocked them on facebook so they can't contact me)
Well the problem we have is his inablity to reply to my texts or answer my calls. When we see each other he will comment about something I said so I know he got the text yet when I ask why he didn't bother to reply he basically says he didn't feel the need to. I even told him I don't like that because it seems disrespectful and hurts. He has also made promises to call me and he never does until either I call him or message him and have to remind him. Rarely will he keep to his word without me having to remind him he promised.
Yesterday into today we had our biggest fight. He had promised he'd come to my house this week since I had a few days off work then yesterday he tells me his friend is going to offer him $800 to help him move. I'm kinda related to this friend of his (he is the brother of my brother in law) and I know he isn't the type to pay off his debts to people he owes money to (he still owes my sister $300 for paying a fine years ago). I told my boyfriend that I really didn't like it how everytime his friend made some last minute plan to do something he'd cancel our time we were supposed to be together and then get mad at me for being upset he cancled.
Anyways he got me so mad today that I ended up telling him it was either me or the money because I was tired of feeling second best and how he always is willing t cancle plans with me for other people but not the other way around. He told me he chooses the money but still "wanted to be with me and loved me" then the rest of the day he ignored me until after I was at work and told me someone stole his friend money so the moving thing was off. The' he texted me again while I was still at work saying he found a ride tomy house so i didnt need to pick him up on my way home and to just go home and wait for him there. He called me then and told me the same thing but never told me when.
Ive been home for over two hours and it is now 1am and he hasnt shown up. He wont anser me when i calld or texted him and honestly im feeling both worried and mad but mostly mad. I am really tired amd need sleep but i wont leave my door unlocked because i dnt trust people. What do you think is going on? Should i just go to bed? Or wait up?
 
Sounds like he is simply using you when he has nothing better to do. Not replying to your messages and then dropping you last minute and then openly telling you he will take the money over you (as he has done in the past with your sister) should be a strong indication of what he thinks of you / your feelings etc.

Move on - the guy is just going to screw you around.
 
Sounds as if you know the right decision for you as it is. SO make it, and don't look back to him (or any other guy that is treating you badly). I'm sure there is someone out there for you that you will have a more positive experience with <3
 
Thanks for your answers guys! I really am thinking of just ending it with him. He really doesn't seem to care about me.
An update of what happened would be he claims he had an upset stomach and went to lay down for an hour and by the time he woke up his ride was asleep. Then he claimed he'd come to my house this morning and everytime I talk to him he has come up with an excuse why he hasn't shown up (either that he was sleeping because he is sick or that his ride keeps having things come up) Not to mention he is ignoring my request for him to call me while we wait for his ride to be ready.
 
He has a phone, he asked you to wait up for him? If he wasn't able to show up (for what ever reason) then a quick txt or call to say - sorry I can't come over just goto bed, I will see you later would have done.

To simply leave you waiting wondering what he was doing shows a lack of respect to you. He is messing you about - you know and feel this.
 
Well I am a little late on this, but incase you are still dating him or wondering what you should do, I will offer up some thoughts.

First off- How long have you two been dating again?

An issue that hasn't been addressed yet is that he has a child! The having a child isn't the bad thing but you said that you are uneasy around children and not yet ready to help raise a kid, while it may not be an issue right now if you two did plan to stay together long-term then this factor will come into play, especially if he is a good and attentive father...because that means a.) He would want his child's approval of you and vice versa and b.) The deeper your relationship gets the more he will have to merge his time with both of you together. This alone sounds like a deal breaker to me.

Another thing I want to add is if you re-read your post do you see how nit-picky you are. And if you take a step back do you see yourself constantly nagging him? I would make a bet that you are usually more easy-going and typically a fun, young girl. Now I am not saying that he doesn't deserve the questions and nit-picking but what I want you to see is that his negative behaviors are reflecting on you and turning you into a type of woman that you aren't. This happens all the time in relationships, guys will get mad about their girlfriend always getting mad or nagging them but what neither realize is that every time he does something disrespectful or that confuses you and hurts your feelings-he is turning you into the type of woman that you are not.

While I know it can be difficult, I would let this one go and try to take it as a learning experience. You are 19! You literally have just begun to live..you have so much time to date, my real advice to you is to be single and take a little while to get to know yourself and find/do things that make you happy. Once you do that and you find happiness within yourself you will know just what kind of man you want and you won't take any shit or have to second guess when it comes to guys.
 
Oh and a little ps-have you been to his house? Does he answer his phone/text around you? If suspicion of cheating had a scent he would own that bottle of cologne.
 
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There are so many reasons you really should not be with this guy.

First off he is playing a lot of games.

If he cannot be bothered to answer your calls and texts and then imposes on you he is very selfish.

I could speculate that he is dating other women and maybe involved in some things like drugs or crime if he runs off like that.

But no one deserves to be treated the way he treats you. Just leave before he fucks up your life.
 
I think the story speaks for itself.
Not to sound harsh, but straight to the point-
If he wanted to spend time with you, and be with you- then he would.
But he isn't.
So that must mean that he doesn't want to.
Stop wasting your time on a fucking jerkoff.

I'd bet 10 bucks that if YOU STOP calling him for a few days and lose interest-
all of a sudden, you'd get a phone call from him.
Guys are fucking stupid.
 
Mel22 said:
You should tell him to go fuck himself, block his number, go to bed and never look back.
Click to expand...


haha

but seriously OP if he gave a shit about you he would behave like he did. he doesn't respect you if he just drops you at the last minute and communicates poorly. your not high on his list of priorities

you can do better in life than someone that sort of cares about you when it suits them. what you need is real love
 
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