realization

[Cure or Disease?]

blindness eludes the truth
settle into my lap of comfortability
watch the snow fall from grace
prepare the mental meltdown
save face, watch my place
continue to walk blindfolded, step by step
hand over eyes, i feel the need lie
distasteful truth has set in
waiting begins
wonderful wonder binds the man from within
break the leash..
i sense a coming about to begin
slowly i fall
to my death for all - to see
remember me
please just remember me...

 

[Innocuous]

I like the way you construct this, without the empty polish of spelling the feelings out piece by piece.

...
settle into my lap of comfortability
watch the snow fall from grace
save face, watch my place
...

the inside rhyme, creating thought lines.

and the played up words and currupted cliche... structure without force.
welcome to words.

 

[yakksoho]

I love how this poem evolves throughout the lines. It is so short yet says so much. At first I think it is about one thing, then at the end its all clear. The fact that you can do this in some sixteen lines is a great thing.

The only thing I could suggest maybe would be changing "wonderful wonder", it just doesn't sound right to me.

I love this part:

break the leash..
i sense a coming about to begin
slowly i fall
to my death for all - to see
remember me
please just remember me...