real-time

[StatuS tickleS]

here lies him
that guy that the world woo'd
he came, he saw, he became trapped
he was an okay dude

he said some stuff
and he did many things
he knew alot about alot
and became what "knowing" brings

he forgot about the past
and lived in every present-tense
a symptom of societal detachment
he shed all the expectation, and hence:

"i died with a life i lived satisfied"
he thought as he let his soul go
and a few days later i recieved this poem
he had written....just to let me know.



*prolly could use some work, off the top of my head this moment*

 

[lystra]

face

 

[Raz]

I like the first and the last verses the most....would be interested to see more if you do decide to work on it..

 

[(Wordy)]

^ Ditto... elegies have the potential to be so powerful.

Personally I'd like to hear more about how "he became trapped".

PS: Bakesale is one of my favourite albums.

 

[colicolo]

i like this, if only it could fit on a tombstone.