I'm not surprised to see a pill munching mod vs. a doomsday speaker here.
There was always something about my presence that gets the two extremes going at each other!
For the record, I recall reaching the same conclusion about the dosage.
Pill reports does not test purity against binding agents, only against adulterants.
Indeed, the pills were likely not 245mg pure MDMA.
But I strongly suspect they were more than 80mg.
Of all the previous tabs I had eaten prior to this batch, only one was stronger than these.
They were a clean but strong roll.
And Folley there could very well have been identical looking pills that you found once upon a time.
Now if you live in DFW...
I would have to assume these pills were at least 125-150mg based upon their effectiveness.
And this still puts me at 300mg per night, two weekends in a row, followed by 75mg.
And the damn probiotics...which I really think were the culprit.
I definitely had digestive problems during that roll!
But here is the REAL confounding factor for me - my WIFE.
You see, ladies and gentlemen, she took the same exact tabs.
Not just from this batch, but from every batch we got.
Pill for pill we were in lock-step the whole way.
Her usage of probiotics was reasonable - one pill.
And there was no DPH or digestive complaints from her!
And no Serotonin Syndrome either....
But sure enough, during our abstinence she showed CLEAR signs of mental problems that seemed to be lesser imitations of mine.
Could it be the stress of watching me almost die and degrade into a depressed, anxious person?
Sure.
But there was just too much similarity there.
Startle response, eventual change in vision, severe negative reaction to cannabis, ongoing anxiety and depression, strong positive response to exercise, negative response to poor diet, insomnia.
And lets not forget the undeniable WORSENING of her symptoms around her period.
Month after month I could see this happen - we are talking PMDD, which had never happened to her before.
Although the onset of her symptoms took 3-6 months, instead of instantaneous melt-down like mine, watching her has taught me a very simple truth....
Nobody escapes MDMA unscathed, especially when years upon years of heavy cannabis use precede the MDMA.
That is the other thing we had in common.
And this is a finding in many respected studies.
In fact....
There were suggestions that heavy MDMA use ALONE would only lead to cognitive decline with modest psychological problems.
But add in major weed smoking and the psychological problems are vastly amplified.
I know, just about everybody that rolls also smoke weed, so this is hard to prove.
And everybody expects a citation....
I do not believe those tabs were only 80mg.
But I'd sure like to know.
If they haven't been moved, I know where they are.
I removed them from my home and buried them.
If retrieved, I wonder if there is a lab that can test for actual MDMA quantity?
Any help?
Not critical to me, but I'm curious.
I had Serotonin Syndrome, and this can happen regardless of lifetime exposure to MDMA.
Because probiotics increase intestinal motility, I believe they are the primary culprit - the overlapping factor that truly caused my severe reaction. But there is no doubt in my mind, even without this SS event we were both headed towards a time of suffering.
And I blame it ALL upon the constant cannabis.
We smoked an ounce a week for years, until we graduated to hydro...and even hash.
I used to smoke until my brain was just FRIED.
As much as I liked it, I would have GLADLY traded that habit for a hundred or so great MDMA experiences!
Good news: I went to the gym and lived.
My first work-out since the 'stroke' was ok.
I'm still a little off in the head, but I'm waiting on the neurologist to call.
I'd love to be told I never had any TIA's, or at least any that left traces.
Then I'd be left with nothing but subjective experiences that are probably the result of changes to serotonergic transmission.
Whatever.
I will revisit.
And attempt to respond to those in my inbox.
Thanks again everyone.
