Random MSN Gibberings XCIII: Moral of the story is to wank more

[Albion]

Wise words from Shambles. Begin!

maybe if you wank with the wrist upside down it will magically heal the pain, either that or take some painkilling drugs.

Oh, and morning been another sleepless night for some reason, I think the keyboard that I got yesterday got me all in a hypomanic state, well that and falling asleep yesterday morning and waking up at 6pm, which I fear might happen again today if I'm not carefull, might fill myself with caffeine today and get on a tidying mission.

Am on painkilling drugs, Mugz. Wrist still fuckin' kills though. Tried wanking earlier.. admittedly not upsidedown though.

Bad wrists all around!

My entire left arm is fucking killing me. It's not even my wanking arm. Maybe that's the problem.

 

[Shambles]

So am I to take it that the overall best advice available from EADD is to have a wank?

 

[Albion]

I dunno, might be worth holding out for a second (fifth?) opinion.

Effie?

 

[Shambles]

I suspect Effie would be busy wanking at this time of the morn so her opinion can probably be taken as read.

 

[Mugz]

There's a thread somewhere in SLR I think about a chronic masturbator

 

[Albion]

It's about someone's flatmate who they can hear from across the hall.

 

[Mugz]

On stims in my shared flat I often wonder if I can be heard, not because of screams of joy on orgasm, but because I'm super stimmed up and think that every single noise is amplified 100x and one creak of my mattress will indicate that I am having a wank. I doubt that it is heard though, or even if it is, that it is suspected as masturbation.

 

[Shambles]

There's no more paranoid a wank than a stimfuelled wank. The silence thing is probably the worst part. It's not like wanking even involves much actual extraneous noise really. Unless you're doing it properly. I often suspect women have it best on the wanknoise front. Minor squelching at best really. No excessive movement required. As a fella there's either that annoying muffled thumping against the duvet or the even more mortifying slappysound of a barefaced wankfist. Give me squelchy anyday. I feel ladywankers need to get involved at this stage to counterbalance the argument.

PS: This leaves aside the whole lube issue. Thankfully as an intact Eurocock lube isn't really required, but as an exotic wank of some sorts is sometimes of interest the addition of Nivea or similar brings a whole other level of wanknoise paranoia

 

[Marmalade]

best. new. gibberings. thread. ever

 

[Mugz]

I just noticed that the WipeoutHD theme that I installed on my PS3 has the cursor in the web browser looking like one of the ships that you can fly in the game, but strangely enough, it also looks like a cock and balls!!

Morning Marmz

 

[Albion]

I think marmz should provide a female perspective on the wank noise argument. Who is louder?

Mugz is that the Wipeout dynamic theme? Makes me feel motion sick but it's ace.

 

[Shambles]

best. new. gibberings. thread. ever

Only if the female perspective on the wanknoise argument lives up to the anticipation, Marmz. Thus far it's all just in my fevered imagination. And my but you're a squelcher, Marmz

 

[Mugz]

I think marmz should provide a female perspective on the wank noise argument. Who is louder?

Mugz is that the Wipeout dynamic theme? Makes me feel motion sick but it's ace.

It's actually the Wipeout Ship Scroll theme apparently, was free to download from the Playstation store when I downloaded WipeoutHD last night. No motion sickness for me. WipeoutHD is a very visual game, I think playing it on psychs would be great, although it's pretty psychedelic anyway.

I also agree that Marmz should contribute more to the wank noise discussion, are you a loud wanker Marmalade?

 

[Albion]

I plan on playing Journey on psyches at some point.

 

[knock]

mp3s of marmz masturbating please!

 

[Shambles]

Also, when does wanknoise become just plain noise? This is another boywank/girlwank dichotomy I feel. Boys rarely make noise beyond the mechanical ime. Maybe a shuddering exhalation at best. Ladywanks, on the other hand, seem to involve more subtle variations on the noise front. Beyond the mere mechanical, beyond the physical squelchiness inherent in a ladywanker's physicality. Almost... spiritual even. Or maybe that's just the pornowanknoise talking.

Wonder how many have experienced the sound of the opposite sex wanking properly?

 

[Albion]

My ex-girlfriend says it's hard not to make those vocal noises, even when she's alone. This really has me intrigued cos for me they aren't necessary except as a means of communication, but if you're going at it alone, seems more of a liability than anything else.

 

[Shambles]

In my small experience of such things it does seem the fairer sex struggles to avoid a yelp amidst the squelch.

 

[matt<3ketamine]

i go to sleep and the gibbering thread becomes dominated by wankers
wanknoise for men = terrible
wanknoise for women = heavenly sound

discuss even further ((whilest avoiding mdpv) for the safety of the thread)

 

[Shambles]

In me teenyears, I must admit I always found ladywanknoises far sexier than pornopix/vidz. As any young fellamelad worth his knuckleshuffle I had plenty jazzmagz and more vintage pornvidz than is healthy (perhaps) but was the noisythings that got me going for real. Even used to record soundtracks on tape to listen to on me walkman rather than just watching standard wankystuff. Summat truly ubersexy about ladywanknoises