I was in B&Q and this bloke asked if I wanted decking.
Luckily I got in the first punch.
It's an old howler but I love that joke.... anyway, blimey, what a productive day you've had, Mailmonkey. Your allotment is going to be one fertile and rewarding place in the coming months, no doubt worth the effort and unpleasantness of dealing with all that fishy muck last year. Ain't nature marvellous? Especially worms.
I've done an obscene amount of housework today, I've scrubbed the crap out of all the doors and skirting boards and chipped away at the black sludge under the cooker... I don't know why as I am tired and hungover as hell and the smell of bleach is making me want to vomit. I also discovered that drinking loads of beer makes ethylphenidate a much more rewarding experience for me.