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Random MSN Gibberings LXIX: Open your mouth, here's your money

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I for one do not have a good enough relationship with my bowels that would enable me to 'crimp one out' on demand. We are barely on speaking terms...

The street would awake and the police called if I embarked on the usual titanic struggle between man and colon on someone's doorstep...
a good dose of Lactulose would not only ensure a stealthy exit, but also increase volume considerably for a one off. its awesome stuff and works differently to most laxatives. and it wont strain your colon

it's often the tool of poop stars of the 'scatalogical' genre, apparently.
 
got scripted lactulose when what i really needed was something to help with the massive stress that my stomach always always reacts to. horrible stuff. TREAT THE CAUSE NOT THE SYMPTOMS BASTARDS! just give me fucking valium you fucking dicks. or, not any more, self medication is the way forward.

in other words, i had a bad experience with it, because i shouldn't have been scripted it in the first place and my bowels were fucked to start with. if you work in an office with other people prepare to want the ground to swallow you up. so it gets a thumbs down with me.
 
Just been to see my mental health worker, pretty sure she thinks I'm a complete nut job, and she wouldn't be wrong! Why is it that we know how to treat ourselves better than supposed health care professionals??
 
Thanks for your help looking for somewhere to live everyone, i'll decide over the next few weeks and then do it!

Watson: Just return the shit she left through her letterbox. That way no DNA for you, and I can't feasibly see any way you could get into trouble for it?

Some retard was pulling her dog along shitting on the paved area in Headingley, and I said 'for fuck sake are you going to clean that up', all I got was some sort of wierd chav reply that was barely intelligible. I think it was 'im gonna do it later'. It's still there today lol.
 
Just been to see my mental health worker, pretty sure she thinks I'm a complete nut job, and she wouldn't be wrong! Why is it that we know how to treat ourselves better than supposed health care professionals??

I've worked a bit on the other side, i.e. the mental health workers side. And there are very few people who actually treat themselves properly. Most are just convinced that if they take ridiculous amounts of unprescribed street drugs they will get better. We'd get reports like 'Stacey felt a bit sad that day, so she decided to a lick her finger and take what she describes as a small amount of mdma'. To be fair I was just typing reports and manning phones for the emergency sectioning because some poor sod had been found naked on top of a multi-story about to jump because there are angels and devils everywhere or whatever. Most of the stuff the teams would prescribe didn't seem popular at all with patients, and I can see why. That whole sector of public health is in the 1960s compared to the rest; There are almost certainly a whole plethora of drugs which wouldn't just turn patients into mindless zombies and take months to work.
 
in other words, i had a bad experience with it, because i shouldn't have been scripted it in the first place and my bowels were fucked to start with. if you work in an office with other people prepare to want the ground to swallow you up. so it gets a thumbs down with me.

I was scripted for it after a major op, pretty much as standard since the bowels are normally the last thing to kick back in after surgery/anesthesia, and large doses of tramadol constipate. found it ace [and great to use later when in uber dieting mode], but my bowels are kinda like McBowels, so no general probs with them. I find it does help with the diet occasionally tho, just to keep things moving when there's not enough food to do the job. That and fibre supplements mean I can cane a diet hard, without causing my body to start taking a dive generally ..
 
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Mr Smokes Blunts.. come and live in Windsor ( check out dedworth)..You can find reasonable rents, weve got a lot of forests, fields etc and are 20 mins from London. :)
 
There's an awful lot of unsavoury talk of things like bowels and London today.

I'm truly disappointed.
 
Made it in and no-one has even noticed :D
All good! not a huge deal to do at the moment so i think its cig o'clock:)
 
I'm taking a look at Windsor now YPH, it seems like it might be a bit of a slow place to live? The prices there aren't actually too much different to the prices in the city itself either :O
 
Anyone else noticed that the quality of fags when you're rolling a J have been deteriorating? Some of the branches i've been pulling out whilst skinning up are ridiciulous.
 
Anyone else noticed that the quality of fags when you're rolling a J have been deteriorating? Some of the branches i've been pulling out whilst skinning up are ridiciulous.

There was a thread on this not too long ago. More of a focus on rolling tobacco, but consensus seems to say it's getting worse.

Not the best, is it?
 
I find it does help with the diet occasionally tho, just to keep things moving when there's not enough food to do the job. That and fibre supplements mean I can cane a diet hard, without causing my body to start taking a dive generally ..

i'm really sorry but i just don't think this is true. using laxatives to help lose weight is really really dangerous. if you are at a point where essentially you don't shit naturally anymore, you either need a stomach specialist or are quite severely anorexic. it is not good. if the latter i can tell you from experience the next step on this road: fecal incontinence. on the plus side it'll only happen every 7-10 days. days 8-10 are a total arse if you have to leave the house though.

you may feel like you're not doing any damage but you are. i had subclinical eating disorders for the decade before mine blew up big style and all those little lapses really contributed to how quickly and dramatically my health degenerated when i gave myself away to the disease inside me. just please please please look after yourself. being told at 20 that your biological age is 60 is not fun. and i never even got thin.
 
Chinup has walked the walk (or stumble, as my own experience of eating issues caused me to do). Believe her words.

Can we please curtail the bowel talk for a little while, however? It's my lunch break now... :\
 
Chinup has walked the walk (or stumble, as my own experience of eating issues caused me to do). Believe her words.

Can we please curtail the bowel talk for a little while, however? It's my lunch break now... :\

I seem to recall the boundary between sex and excretion was a little blurred for you Sam? Just not over lunch...?
 
I much prefer senna for getting the bowel going after opiate use....

Lactulose did bad things to me I think. Didn't feel good at all.

Senna works a treat, as long as you keep well hydrated too :)

Sorry Sam, it was relevant to the general chat going on here. %)
 
I seem to recall the boundary between sex and excretion was a little blurred for you Sam? Just not over lunch...?

You have a point. ;)

I'm more of the urinary persuasion though. And as for 'over lunch' there are probably types out there who'd throw food into the mix too. That's just a little too far for me.

Mailmonkey - you had to, didn't you? Though I believe senna is probably the best bet for those with opioid-related bowel problems.

Right, are we quite finished? :D
 
When caining the opiates I will use both Lactulose and Senna. Both were given to me in hospital once when I was on IV morphine and it worked so I mimic that when I have a binge!

Edit: Sorry Sam!!
 
Too much senna, however, can cause your bum muscles to become to lax.. Prunes are great for constipation but I have to be desperate .. satans fruit yukk ( shudder)
 
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