• 🇬🇧󠁿 🇸🇪 🇿🇦 🇮🇪 🇬🇭 🇩🇪 🇪🇺
    European & African
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Random MSN Gibberings LVII - What Does B&W Stand For, Mummy?

Status
Not open for further replies.
I woke up from about 4.30-5 onwards today, finally accepted restful sleep wasn't happenin and got up about 6.

Not too hot or owt, just not restful.
 
i slept ok but i knocked myself out. 2 blues, 4mg etiz, zopiclone beer and port. may have been over kill but wanted to make sure as i had no weed. took me a long time to wake up this morning. can't repeat tonight, not enough benzos and still wont have any weed, need to be up and presentable by 9am (sorry to those who have actual jobs, that comment must be annoying!!).

morning dozy eadd. suspect a bit of it is just resetting body clocks after the bank holiday???
 
Hah. How weird is that? I'm just going to cook dinner and then get on with more job hunting. Ahhh fun times.
 
chinup said:
need to be up and presentable by 9am (sorry to those who have actual jobs, that comment must be annoying
Click to expand...

Hey, I've been up for hours and I'm still nowhere near presentable. Despite being in work. ;)

What a stupid, stupid time for me to have taken the last of my diaz and not replenished the supply as planned. I've been a bit silly with the benzos since the end of last year and I've stupidly fallen into everyday use over the past few months. Something tells me the next few days could be a bit uncomfortable.

Back on the treadmill then? Poor old me.
 
gah, parents have told me "i know you've been taking them painkillers (fentanyl) and drinking again, i thought all this had stopped"

They are now in talks about getting me moved out but i couldnt survive on my own right now, my anxiety problems are too much. The drink i can stop instantly, same with the others really (no dependences). But still worried what to do :(
 
I don't have parents, but to be fair I expect they'd have gone off their heads if they found out I was smoking fentanyl under their roof...

Have you spoken to them honestly about your anxiety problems? For all they know, you're just using drugs recreationally.
 
where would they move you to? on your own could be a disaster. if you genuinely can't deal with the thought of living alone, and genuinely aren't dependent on the drugs you're using, surely you can just stop? have you addressed your anxiety to a doctor? they're your parents, if you show an effort to deal with the problems causing you to self medicate, they should surely support you? i know this is sadly not true for many people, but the fact you're still at your parents place suggests your rents are quite understanding.

it may be worth seeking advice in 'The Dark Side,' many many people there have had similar problems.
 
SamhainGrim said:
I don't have parents, but to be fair I expect they'd have gone off their heads if they found out I was smoking fentanyl under their roof...

Have you spoken to them honestly about your anxiety problems? For all they know, you're just using drugs recreationally.
Click to expand...

yah they know everything.

I couldnt survive on my own and can knock the drugs on the head, but they think im a junkie so wont, @(
 
Do you not want to prove them wrong? Stay clean for a while to prove to them you are not a junkie.
 
I think you need serious medical attention. Why couldn't you survive on your own? Are you phsically disabled? what is it that is so frightening about being alone? if its any consolation, I couldn't survive on my own either. I don't let that thought paralyse me though, just construct an environment where I can survive.

and as Danny said, you said you can do it, so show them they're wrong!
 
Ive had serious medical attention, payed myself for private psych treatment, they dont understand my anxiety/mental issues are down to valium cold turkey (which they know, but dont know much about tbh)

Meh ill just tell my parents i can come clean, as i can.
 
i think it goes further than that. you were warned many times on here about the consequences of overdoing the valium but you were unable to stop yourself.

if you are seriously experiencing valium cold turkey, YOU MUST tell your parents. I can't imagine a bigger freakout than a child of mine being in a seizure and having no clue why, and therefore what medical attention to seek out for him.
 
bignbrown said:
Ive had serious medical attention, payed myself for private psych treatment, they dont understand my anxiety/mental issues are down to valium cold turkey (which they know, but dont know much about tbh)
Click to expand...

So if you don't mind me asking, if your anxiety is purely due to valium withdrawal then why did you start taking the valium in the first place?

Sometimes you confuse me, you really do. In fact, most of the time you confuse me. :\

Hope it works out for the best, but ultimately you shouldn't be working up a diazepam habit under your parents' roof. Unless your name is Spade.
 
I woke up from about 4.30-5 onwards today
Click to expand...

That's about what time I drifted off and was awake again at 6:30 and then up at 8am!

Cheers up bignbrown at least your a mod now.

Aye so I went for my job 'interview' turns out it wasn't an interview at all but a group assesment that lasted 2hrs. Had to go online and do a silly wee test, exactly the same as the one we did previously at home just longer. Strange test like, gives you a load of random letters and numbers on a screen and asks you what the 8th letter from then right is, whether the line on the screen is more or less than 3 centemeters and what the 4th and the 8th letter added together is etc. Then you had to answer a load of questions on your personality and attitude to work, answering each question saying whether the statement is very unapplicable to you, unapplicable, neutral, applicable or very applicable. Of course you had to lie through your fucking teeth because if you answered honestly to thinks like "are you willing to work extra hours to get porjects finished", "do you always put 100% into work" and "are you passionate about customer service" you'd blatently fail. PISH!

So I passed and now I've to go back for STAGE FUCKING 5 the morra which is an actual one on one interview, all just to get a minimum wage job in a call centre. Feels like I'm applying for a job at NASA. Bullshit! Think unless I go in the morra and call the boy a stupid fucking cunt or similar I've got the job so I'll probably call him a stupid fucking cunt!
 
SamhainGrim said:
So if you don't mind me asking, if your anxiety is purely due to valium withdrawal then why did you start taking the valium in the first place?

Sometimes you confuse me, you really do. In fact, most of the time you confuse me. :\

Hope it works out for the best, but ultimately you shouldn't be working up a diazepam habit under your parents' roof. Unless your name is Spade.
Click to expand...

that was a year ago, a real habbit had to be tapered off, thats what put my mum through a hard time. I guess thats my anxiety is PAWs from that, plus abusing stimulants last year, not now.

so finding drugs now, they think it'll end up repeating the hard times etc.

I dont have anything in the house now and not planning on taking anything, i just dont want to be kicked out as i really dont think i could survive on my own right now, thats all.
 
bignbrown said:
that was a year ago, a real habbit had to be tapered off, thats what put my mum through a hard time. I guess thats my anxiety is PAWs from that, plus abusing stimulants last year, not now.

so finding drugs now, they think it'll end up repeating the hard times etc.

I dont have anything in the house now and not planning on taking anything, i just dont want to be kicked out as i really dont think i could survive on my own right now, thats all.
Click to expand...

I've sort of had the same problems as you with my mum, I had a raging gear habit and came close to dying a few times (that wouldn't have been that bad at the time cuz I didn't care) anyway the worst part was that it was killing my mum (literally) to see me like that! After two years of that shit she kicked me out! That's when I decided to man up and do something about it, I got scripted and went from £200 worth of gear and crack a day to testing clean within one week, I was lucky I had a good friend who took me in when no one else would! My mu
let me go home when I gave her a clean test. Guess my point is you need to come clean about the problems you have, do you not have anyone who can take you in whilst you sort yourself out? I don't know your parents but I'm sure they would take you back in if you could prove to them your back on the straight and narrow. I found it impossible to get clean whilst I was living at home because I hadn't really lost anything, and it was an endless cycle of more and more drugs because I could see what I was doing to my so I took more to block it out! Fucked up I know, all I can say is good luck mate
 
Last edited:
Put it on a piece of paper or card with a fold down the middle then pour into the capsule
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top