eclipsedesign
Bluelighter
Last couple of months have been pretty heavy, been trying very hard to taper my substance and alcohol abuse with some success. Have avoided Bluelight for that time to try and have fewer urges to press a couple of buttons on my 'pooter and order some stuff to the door which will inevitably get used constantly until it runs out..
Been very irresponsible - moreso if I've had a couple of drinks beforehand (this is the thing that usually sets my nose hunting) - which has annoyed me as I usually think of myself as a very meaured and fairly knowledgable drug user.
My use of K has kind of gone a bit out of control lately and I'll even get it when everyone's just having a quiet one and demolish a few g's to myself in a couple of hours, not only is it unsociable it's pretty pointless as well, memory blanks and missing money is all I show for it the next day. Received 500mg methoxetamine yesterday morning and I'd done it in over the space of 4 hours, despite being at a pretty nice level after 100ish mg and some spliffs as per usual I have to get completely on it resulting in my housemates telling me this morning I was just wandering around the house gibbering nonesense about a feather duster in a pillow factory.
Starting a journal today every time I either take/buy drugs/drink noting how much and the cost down the side in the hope that it'll help me realise how irresponsible I'm being. My Girlfriend has put up with so much over the last while I'm determined not to ruin things because of my stupid behaviour, when I think that's a night out for the two of us if I have a session on the K it makes me think where my priorities are. Sorry to ramble on I don't really know anywhere else to vent this really... hope everyone is doing well, much love all.
Been very irresponsible - moreso if I've had a couple of drinks beforehand (this is the thing that usually sets my nose hunting) - which has annoyed me as I usually think of myself as a very meaured and fairly knowledgable drug user.
My use of K has kind of gone a bit out of control lately and I'll even get it when everyone's just having a quiet one and demolish a few g's to myself in a couple of hours, not only is it unsociable it's pretty pointless as well, memory blanks and missing money is all I show for it the next day. Received 500mg methoxetamine yesterday morning and I'd done it in over the space of 4 hours, despite being at a pretty nice level after 100ish mg and some spliffs as per usual I have to get completely on it resulting in my housemates telling me this morning I was just wandering around the house gibbering nonesense about a feather duster in a pillow factory.
Starting a journal today every time I either take/buy drugs/drink noting how much and the cost down the side in the hope that it'll help me realise how irresponsible I'm being. My Girlfriend has put up with so much over the last while I'm determined not to ruin things because of my stupid behaviour, when I think that's a night out for the two of us if I have a session on the K it makes me think where my priorities are. Sorry to ramble on I don't really know anywhere else to vent this really... hope everyone is doing well, much love all.
