Thank you, Foots! You're a legend.
I like to jog until I'm exhausted, and at the point I feel I can't run anymore pretend the cops are behind me and sprint as fast as I can for 20 steps or so. That's a real rush to feel that exhausted.
I've always sucked at running/jogging, so that sounds intense to me! I know what you're saying though... I've cycled my whole life (well, from 5 years old to 33) and I know all about that intense burst factor that leaves you unable to think for a valuable few seconds.
I'm back at the gym. I got a fitness evaluation which somehow surpassed what I was expecting: Expectations were low, but the results were way more fucked than I expected. I haven't touched any stims for around three to four months now, yet my sitting heart rate was so high the trainer said I had better go to my doctor sooner rather than later.
Also, I'm pushing the 100kg mark despite not having eaten much since I ditched the opiates (everything gives me a stomach ache). According to my trousers (ha!) I've lost a few kilos in the last six weeks, but my weight is just shy of a hundred fucking kilos... I used to weigh 70kg when thin, and 85kg at peak muscle density.
Hitting the piss again; hence, the update. Fact is I find it hard to do anything these days. This is only the second time I've drunk (or taken anything at all) since I kicked. I think about getting hammered every day. Most days I can put it off, but the thought comes in to my head about a dozen times a day.
I'm just wondering how much difference it makes overall... being sober from my DOC, I mean. I've done this before - taken time off. How long will it last though, I wonder... and ultimately what's the difference? If I'm going to substitute one thing for another, then how long till I go back to H/oxy/morphine/fent/etc?
PS. sorry for taking up so much of this thread with my shit.