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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Quitting opiates, taper or cold turkey?

Scagnattie (great name by the way) - everyone has something to add - your words of support and encouragement are appreciated and are just as valuable and valued as the other posts. I mean, what a succinct point that shows lateral thinking when you say "everything ends eventually" - that, to me, is more tangible and logical than my putting a time limit on this. I can't predict when this will end or how it is going to go or how quickly I can taper and for me to do so and then possibly fail or worse, relapse, would put me under immense pressure at a time when I don't need it! We were all busy defining it as x amount of days and y amount of days, when you just hit it dead on - the reality is, keep going, forget the number of days and it will end eventually!

So, yeah, I like your pragmatic and unfailingly logical attitude!! You are right - it will take as long as it takes and I am done putting it off and finding reasons to delay and life is still going to carry on around me but that's out of my control and my life was rapidly going downhill and turning into existing not living anyway!

It just shows how easy it is to slip into that mode of thinking and trying to control every outcome and define everything and then when we don't reach an unachievable "target", how easy it becomes to beat ourselves us, give up and then pick up again and so the cycle continues. Here's the key point - by my trying to set a pre-defined "success criteria" - I was already setting myself up to fail here. No one can put a fixed time on this. All I can do, is continue the reduction gradually in a safe and manageable manner and - it will end eventually! That is a great and powerful statement and shows me a different way of thinking already. My thinking is so dysfunctional right now that this did not even occur to me!

Sometimes someone just says something profound in just a few words and it switches a lightbulb on. So, thanks for the lightbulb moment! Yeah! This HAS to end eventually! I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and take it a day at a time. I am fucking done with living like a dopesick droid, like a bad movie playing over and over and over!
 
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WantToBeReborn - I was an opiate user, mainly 5/325 vic's for well over a year, most of the time using 3-4 times a day. I wouldn't say I had the worst addiction out there of course, but that's all relative to the person in need in my opinion. I got hooked on them just like a lot of people, by actually being in pain and a doctor telling me to take them but "be careful". Wtf does that mean? Be careful? I actually went off on a doc once because I took them exactly as prescribed and he told me to call in when I needed a refill, just so he could talk to me about my pain progress. I did just that, and he got on to me for taking them too fast. I yelled at him "I followed YOUR directions!" Like a politician he danced around that response. But anyway, thankfully the pain was gone, so I wasn't fighting real pain while detoxing.

I ran out of meds on a Sunday night and decided that was it for me. I decided to stop before it got worse or effected other aspects of my life, and quit cold turkey. By Monday afternoon I was miserable. It was like I had the worst flu I've ever seen but the mental anguish was the worst part, by far. I felt completely like I was undeserved to be human. I'm a father and a husband, and felt like I had let them down especially, even though they never knew anything about my addiction or was directly effected by it.

By Friday night I was gradually starting to feel a bit better here and there, but that 4-5 days was LONG. I passed the time mostly by sleeping or wanting to sleep. Thankfully I had some Xanax, which knocks me right out in low doses, from small panic issues I have now and then but nothing major. So I took those about every 12 hours to help me sleep through a lot of the misery.

By Saturday I was feeling a lot better an even went out with some people for dinner, that was the first I had eaten a real meal since Sunday night by the way. I felt worse that night, but I think I had just over done it, honestly.

By Monday I felt like a new man. I was enjoying music again for more than just something to zone out to while my vic's were kicking in and especially enjoyed being outdoors so much I went on a 2 hour drive. Sun was shining and birds were chirping. To be honest, it was probably a cloudy day and no birds around because it was winter, but it sure as crap felt like it was perfect outside. I still had to pace myself, but man I could taste freedom.

Here are the few key things that I think helped me through it all, and I realize not everyone has access to the same things, but you may find solace in other things that help you personally.

1 - I have a job that gives me as much free time as I need without fear of losing pay.
2 - Xanax, to allow me to control my sleep patterns or necessity of sleep.
3 - Family, around to help me through it all, even though they thought I had the freakin' bird flu or something. ;)
4 - MUSIC...so important to me. I thought my tablet would be my go to thing for helping me taking my mind off of the healing boredom and obsession. It's hard not to just lay there and focus on feeling like a turd. But it was actually music that did it. I think because I could do that anywhere. Especially laying down with my eyes closed.
5 - Bali Kratom. I can't stress this enough for the amount of help it gave me. Not only did it REALLY curb the cravings for me, but it replaced the pavlovian habits I had created of the oral fixation of my pill taking patterns. The MINUTE I took some kratom pills, I felt relief and that horrible worry feeling that opiates numbed me from so well for so long, also dissipated. I'm not telling you to go take it, but my goodness did it help me out.
6 - And MOST importantly...God. If you aren't a believer, I'm sorry. And I don't me that in a derogatory manner, I really mean I'm sorry. God is something and someone I could always be honest with through the healing process because he already knew. There literally was no sense in lying to him. It would be like a flat chested girl telling god she was stacked up top while stuffing her bra. Not fooling God. My recommendation on this is just talk to someone who can help you learn to meditate or relax in prayer. It works wonders.

I hope you get to the place I'm at, and get rid of the fake feeling that you need any of that poison. It takes work, but it only takes as much as you're willing to give it to quit. Let me know, on here or in a private message, if I can offer any more advice or cheering on. We're here for each other. I sure found answers I needed here while I was going through it. Good luck and cheers to a new you!



WantToBeReborn said:
Hi all

As per the title, I want to beat this demon for once and for all.

Long story short, prescribed morphine for chronic pain and now sick of the use/quit/binge cycle and the dose going up and up. Have used it to cope with some very emotionally painful times in my life when my coping mechanisms ran out, but now I want to try and get my life sorted.

Have a few sleeping pills but nothing else and my doc is reluctant to give me anything else due to medical issues ongoing.

Can anyone share how they reduced or stopped opiates or even just where they are in the journey towards quitting and recovering? How long does it take to feel "happy" again or even just not profoundly depressed?
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Famsisher - thanks for that great post. It really helps to hear others' stories and to know that they have broken free of this demon.

You did very well to recognise that this was becoming a problem, especially with doctors not managing pain properly. When I was in hospital, in severe withdrawal, I even had a doctor try to give me opiates!! Can you imagine the scene - massive pain med user in hospital vehemently refusing all opiates! The doctors said, usually we have people here making up pain and demanding opiates and here you are refusing them!! Madness.

As you correctly state, addiction is individual and is not measurable by doses or time, although physical dependence might be estimated that way, addiction is a different beast. I've seen people on huge doses that had relatively mangeable detox and good recovery and people on small amounts with hugely uncomfortable detox and recovery is a real battle for them. The amount is largely irrelevant when it comes to recovery, other than for dealing with detox.

Thanks for your kind words and encouragement, it is greatly appreciated. Will update later.
 
Today is day 19 of my taper. The Lyrica has worked superbly so far and I'm actually a bit shocked at just how much it has calmed the withdrawals and helped me sleep. The sleep qualityy is the best I have had in months! I feel ok today considering I started another reduction yesterday. Of course, more withdrawal is in the post, but I feel strong and motivated, thanks to the support and advice here. Usually when quitting, like others have said, I would be in a severely low mood, massive depression etc, but just for today, I feel ok.

I expected tapering to be brutal and don't get me wrong, some of it has been and there is more to come, but I think this is easier on my body and mind than cold turkey although it will last far longer. I know this is my last chance. I have plenty more relapses in me but no more recoveries. I would start a blog if I knew how to, here, to write down how I'm feeling day to day.

So - positivity! My feelings are coming back! One minute crying at something on TV, the next laughing, etc. I am told this is normal in detox.

This Lyrica stuff is like a miracle for me. Last night, I was in withdrawal and still hours until my next dose could be taken and the Lyrica took away the crazy goosebump skin and sweating and cold/hot, sickness, shivering, etc. fairly swiftly. I'd say that Lyrica is superb for my detox, but I will drop it afterwards. I had 200mg last night and I slept like a baby, right through withdrawals, only waking up when my dose was due and pretty desperate then for it. Still on the reduced dose...freedom is in sight!!!
 
Way to go with the taper beingreborn. Keep active!! =D





neversickanymore said:
Methylphenidate is a stimulant >here<. I t is addictive and so I dont promote its use that much. Also it isn't a good idea to take it for opiate withdrawals unless you have clonidine on board as it manipulates the adrenals. The purpose of having the clonidine is to limit the unusually high adrenal response to detox. So if a person takes the methylphenidate without having the clonidine on board the will likely have more negative symptoms then positive ones.

methylphenidate
amphetamine salts
"Dopaminergic agents (drugs that increase dopamine), largely used to treat Parkinson's disease, have been shown to reduce symptoms" of restless legs.. and they work on other syptoms as well like th fatige and depression.. >source<

But the use of these drugs needs to be seriously considered as they are for sure have addiction potential and assessed if attempted as they can certainly have a negative effect for some people.
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WantToBeReborn said:
Hang on...parkinson's drugs? I have Sinemet, could this help?
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"Impulsive and compulsive behaviors, including pathologic gambling, hypersexuality, compulsive shopping, compulsive eating, excessive engagement in hobbies, punding, and Dopamine Dysregulation Syndrome (DDS), are increasingly reported serious side-effects of dopaminergic medication, used in the treatment of Parkinson's Disease (PD) and other disorders. Dopamine Agonists (DA) are strongly related with Impulse Control Disorders (ICDs)" >source<
 
Thanks NSAM!

Yes, I decided against the Sinemet in the end.

That said, the Lyrica have been helping hugely. They have reduced the withdrawals significantly and helped with the low mood during withdrawal - is that what they usually do? How do they work?
 
WantToBeReborn said:
Still clean of the morphine pills, that's a week now!! Just tapering down the last of the liquid. Feeling really down. Hoping this isn't going to last too long.
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Firstly well done on being clean. You should be proud of you there. Second ai'm sorry that you are down but as hard as it may seem now you will get better it takes time. Meanwhile we 're all here for support n we have a vent thread if you need to vent or amything (not that I'm accusing you of venting or owt lol just letting you know it's there, think I over-use it at times lol).

Please take care ok we're here for you n you will get through this. You're welcome to pm me anytime if you need someone to talk to.

Evey :) xxxx
 
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