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Quitting kratom, fighting through withdrawals

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Gidget87

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Aug 22, 2015
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I'm sorry if this isn't a good place to post this or isn't contributing much to the forums or whatnot. I'm doing this mostly to keep myself occupied and help me get through this. And I'd of course appreciate any feedback, input, support, etc :)

I found out I'm pregnant on Wednesday. I found out early, about a day after my late period. I'm thrilled and excited but there was one enormous problem: I've been a daily kratom user for probably about two years now. I knew I was addicted, I'd had to go without before and felt the withdrawals, but I guess I was just in denial about it.

But of course, seeing that little pink line changed everything and I knew I had to kick it for good and I needed to do it RIGHT NOW! On Thursday and Friday I drastically reduced my dosage. I had previously been taking probably somewhere around 30-40 grams a day, taking about 10-12 grams at a time throughout the day. Honestly it probably wasn't that uncommon for me to take even more than that. I didn't keep very close track.

Anyways, Thursday and Friday I took about 10-11 grams total, taking maybe 3 grams at a time. I was at work Thursday and Friday (I'm a teacher) and I needed to stave off the worst of it until the weekend. I would take 2 or 3 grams when it would get unbearable. But I still felt some pretty bad w/d stuff through most of Thursday and Friday--constant goosebumps, chills, hot flashes, restless legs, occasional sneezing fits, etc.

My last dose was about 3 grams about 12 hours ago.

Today is Saturday, obviously no work, so I'm trying to cold turkey it today and tomorrow, possibly take Monday off work if I need to, and then hopefully I'll be through the worst of it. I'm hoping that maybe that super fast taper may take a teensy edge off.

I feel okay mentally, I think because my motivation is so concrete and so strong. I feel a nice mental clarity that I haven't had in a long time, and I like how it feels. If I could just get past the physical part...

The worst part for me is the body temperature stuff--sweating, goosebumps, chills, hot flashes--aaagghhh!! That part makes me crazy! And the restlessness of course, the constantly bouncing and kicking legs.

Obviously, due to my "condition," I am doing this without the help of any pharmaceuticals. I'm taking hot baths, which help, but really only while I'm actually in the hot water. Once I get out, the chills and goosebumps are back in full force. I'm also eating like a shitload of bananas, like at least 5 or 6 a day (and I kind of hate bananas, I have to sometimes literally gag them down). I know it sounds kinda crazy, but I do think it has helped with the restless legs stuff.

Anyway, I kind of just wanted to write about this and document my progress. Any feedback welcome!

Friday - day 1ish
3 at 6:00 am
3 at 9:00 am
2.25 at 12:00 pm
3 at 4:40 pm
3 at 9:45 pm
Total: 14.25 grams


Saturday 9:30 am
It's been about 12 hours since small dose of 3 grams last night
Symptoms:
- body temp fluctuations: goosebumps, hot flashes, chills
- restless legs, but not terrible
- general malaise

Body temp stuff is definitely the worst. I hope it passes soon. My armpits feel so disgusting. My skin is crawling and burning.

- Broke down, was so miserable I took about 2 grams at 11:00 am. I guess it's still progress, going 14 hours between doses.

- miserable again. Had very brief and very minor relief for an hour or so. Restless legs bad. Tried doing squats, only momentary relief. Choking down another banana, hoping it helps. Feel hot flashes, but have constant goosebumps. So miserably uncomfortable. I hope this doesn't last too long. Will I feel better by Monday? I'm praying I will. I know I have to pay the piper.

I'm trying to do these mental exercises where I like, embrace the discomfort. Try to see it as this transformative experience that I have to undergo. The pain I must endure to come out the other side better and happier.
 
I think I would do a slower taper because I've read if you withdraw your baby also withdraws. Not sure if that applies that early in the pregnancy but I would look into it.


I also take Kratom but never more than 6 grams at a time or more than 10gs a day so I can only imagine what your going through. Although In my case withdrawal from Kratom isn't that bad to me.

Good luck and just think about all the good times you'll have with your kid when you are depressed from withdrawal. I believe Imodium might make things a little easier but don't take it more than a week. You got this.
 
Gidget87
How are you feeling today ? Hang in there the worst will be over soon.
 
It's 8:00 pm on Saturday and I'm feeling pretty terrible. My goosebumps and chills are mostly gone (although they crop up from time to time) but now I have this feeling like my skin (particularly on my arms) is just burning intensely. Not sure which is worse.

I'm very, very restless and anxious. Can't get comfortable, just constantly jerking around. The anxiety is probably the worst part, just feels like i wanna crawl out of my skin. I don't see myself sleeping much tonight.

I keep telling myself that the worst will be over soon, and that in a couple days, I'll be a new woman.
 
Gidget
Yes it's true soon the worst will be over and day by day you will start to feel better. Just hang in there for you and your baby. I came off a 10 year script of oxy may of last year it was a rough go but totally worth it. Now I am truly present for my kids not always tired and unmotivated. Proud of you for making this choice you can do it !!
Oh and yes I remember the burning skin yet cold to the touch goosebumps. The restless leg/body gets better too.
 
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. It really means a lot to me going through this difficult time.
 
Of course !! I've been there and only had blue light as my support they were amazing to me. Know that I'm thinking about you and you got this !!
 
Sunday, 7:30 am
- still have that feeling like my skin is burning (although mostly just on my arms)
- like I said yesterday, the chills and goosebumps have subsided significantly
- the restlessness and anxiety seem to have improved somewhat--not gone by any means but I think a little better

I am hoping that yesterday was the worst of it. Although I don't wanna get my hopes up too much, I have a feeling the next few hours may get worse.

But, if it at least doesn't get MUCH worse than this, I think I'll be able to endure it. I might even be able to go to work tomorrow. It's a test day so I won't have to be "on," up in front of the class teaching and trying to be engaging.

I can do this. I just keep telling myself that.

I know that what I'm going through can't be anything comparable to withdrawals from harder stuff, but it's real to me. I hope this experience stays with me forever and I never touch another substance, no matter what it is!
 
I'm sorry your sick, I know that terrible feeling all to well. Your doing the right thing. If I were u I would just cold turkey it, more kratom is only prolonging the agony. Those restless legs are so damn horrible, ugggghhhhh. Your wd sounds just like mine when I came off fentanyl and ridiculous amounts of liquid morphine so don't think your suffering is less than anyone else's. Ime it's 4-5 days of hell and that's it, but that was completely cold turkey. U should start feeling an improvement and be able to sleep a little after day 3.
There were a few threads here yesterday about some serious dangers about using immodium(loperamide), it seems people are dying from using that stuff so I'd steer clear of that, it will only prolong things anyways. Well keep up the good work, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Tough it out, your almost home! A new life, new family, a new you!!! Congrats, your a tough chick! A lot of it is psychological so just stay positive and think about all the great things life has in store for you and your child! Good luck and god bless!
 
Congrats on both being pregnant and making the responsible choice of getting sober.I commend women like you who can make the decision as soon as they realize they are pregnant to up and quit. I love my children more then anything but don't know if I would have had the self control to quit like that,like to think I could've.My wife thinks she might be pregnant now(few weeks late) she stopped taking her prescription xannax and won't take so much as a Tylenol while pregnant.Then again she isn't a drug abuser so I'm sure that makes a big difference.
Anyway if you are still going through hell Monday I would consider calling off, I couldn't imagine being around 30 smart ass kids I that state of mind. I'd probably catch a charge.

Someone else posted about wds whie pregnant and I'm not sure how it works this early in pregnancy but I know the later stages you would need to do it with medical supervision.My buddys wife was on methadone and they just kept her on it till she delivered,can't imagine the hell that poor baby went through.
 
Thank you guys so much for your support and encouragement. I'm just sitting here with tears rolling down my face, I'm so glad to have this resource.

It's 9:30 on Saturday and right now, I feel things are tolerable. I still feel that restlessness and that burning skin feeling, almost like a feverish feeling, like I'm getting over a bad flu. In my experience so far, the symptoms seem to come in waves so I'm always trying to mentally prepare for a potential coming storm. I just keep telling myself it'll pass soon and that I'm doing the right thing for myself and my family. I would never want to have my baby go through this feeling.

Just took a nice hot bath and actually washed my hair for the first time in a couple days. Gonna go try and blow it dry, maybe that tiny bit of physical effort will help me out some. :)

Again, I can't thank you guys enough for your words of support. Means the world to me.
 
Hey Gidget
Hang in there !! I remember that feeling like it was yesterday and I'm glad I do because it stops me from ever taking any kind of opiate again. Sounds like you will be the same.
You might consider taking Monday off work but see how you feel.

Keep strong and focused your doing amazing !!
 
Congratulations on your decision. Not wanting your baby to go through this shows maturity and proves that you are willing to make better efforts to become a present parent.

These difficult days will quickly pass and I hope you can look back and feel proud of this tough moment you are going through. You can do this. I know the feeling. You'll feel better very soon.

Good luck!:)
Erik
 
Sunday, 1:30 pm
- restless legs ebb and peak. Always there to a degree but every so often they flare up BAD! I just wanna lay still.
- burning skin sensation still there, I get occasional, very very brief relief from this occasionally
- feel both like a zombie and also like I'm exploding with nervous energy.

My mom is really wanting to take me out shoe shopping and maybe looking at cribs (she does not know what's going on, only knows that I'm feeling under the weather and having some bad anxiety). Maybe it'll be good for me to get out for awhile. It's just hard to imagine even leaving the house when you feel so awful.

I know it's impossible, but I just wish I could know when this physical stuff would pass so I could focus on that.
 
You should try and go shopping with your mom you might be surprised at how moving around May make you feel better. Worse case scenario head back home. Your doing great !!
 
I'd say u probably have another 24-48 hrs tops, your like right there! I wouldn't be surprised if u felt slightly better when u wake up tomorrow. Once u even feel a little better that's it. It sounds like your at the peak now so your almost home free! Positive thoughts, it's almost over and then your free...
 
Sunday, 6:45 pm
- feeling okay, have forced myself to leave the house a couple times today. That was really hard to do but I think it might've helped.
- goosebumps come and go, not constant like they once were. The burning skin sensation has improved a lot.
- same with the restless legs, they are significantly better at the moment.

I feel like I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Praying that it continues to get better from here on out and doesn't get worse again.
 
Gidget87 said:
Sunday, 6:45 pm
- feeling okay, have forced myself to leave the house a couple times today. That was really hard to do but I think it might've helped.
- goosebumps come and go, not constant like they once were. The burning skin sensation has improved a lot.
- same with the restless legs, they are significantly better at the moment.

I feel like I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Praying that it continues to get better from here on out and doesn't get worse again.
Click to expand...
Nope I'm pretty sure your through the worst of it. Ime once u start improving and symptoms stop being constant it only gets better from here on out. That's so awesome that your already improving! It must go a little quicker with a weaker opiate like kratom, that's great news and good info for future posters with the same kratom dependency. Hopefully you can get close to a full night sleep tonight and maybe even be good enough to work tommorow. Please keep us updated. Take care dear!
 
That's great to hear !! So glad you were able to get out of the house for a bit today. You are one strong lady !! I hope you sleep well tonight. It's only going to get better from here. Well done !!
 
Monday, 6:50 am

-just got to work, feel a little bit like death. I suppose symptoms aren't as bad as they were, but there's just an overall discomfort. Hot, clammy feeling. Absolutely no energy. I was dry heaving this morning while getting ready. I don't know if that's withdrawal-related or pregnancy-related.

In need of some words of encouragement.
 
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