• ✍️ WORDS ✍️

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  • Words Moderators: Shambles

Quietly, quietly.

up all night

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Jan 21, 2002
Messages
9,870
Location
Sydney, Australia
Purple shadows shroud him in the doorway
while proclamations of hatred immortal
tumble through keyholes and into draughty corners.
'I will never remember to forget'
He says quietly.

The darkness is less than enveloping
and I see his eyes follow me
into crevices that become brighter upon inspection.
'You're luminous and illuminated'
He says quietly.

I am aching for the voidless charm
of inescapable emotional mutiny
which he will soon give me, if I let him.
'This ship is soon to sail'
He says quietly.

Neither noses or eyes will break the ice
but naked lips dripping with honey
dripping with blood, dripping with horror.
'I never was'
He says quietly.

But ahhh my italian friend
the ships have sunk and the doors are closed
and the lights were never meant to lead you home.
'You never will be'
She says quietly.
 
This was really well written, gave an eerie sense of harm underpinning this story and a dry acceptance of it. You use your words well my dear!
 
it's funny actually - this poem surprised me when i read it as it seems to be in quite a different style from your normal verse. can't quite put my finger on it, more wordy perhaps?

nevertheless, once i got over the newness, i liked it, and began to find those clever and elegant turns of phrase that are your hallmark.

besides the surface meaning, it also reminded me of someone defeating their fear...whether that is an intangible fear, a person, an addiction...

not sure if that's what you intended but that's what i got out of it :)
 
^^^ agreed not her normal style,, but it truly expresses your talent and range of poetry you are capable of... I am plesantly surprised you words and passion came through in such a diferent manner,,, dark is also beautiful.. great work :)
 
<--part of the up all night fanclub

I always find it hard to comment in the words forum because every poem i have liked enough to comment on makes me at a loss for words!

:)
 
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