Seattle_Stranger
Bluelighter
So, this may generate a few laughs, hopefully I can be taken seriously, but I'm just in that kind of mood....here goes:
I started smoking weed frequently, every day to be precise back in like Feb last year. In May, my work contract ended and I've been unemployed since. I decided to take the summer off from work and just enjoy myself. When it came time to buckle down, jobs were not pulling through and it actually got to the point where I couldn't get a job no matter how hard I tried. I finally landed a job, but it doesn't start until Jan. The entire time I've been unemployed, I've been stoned pretty much all day, every day. Alas, I believe it has taken it's toll...
I'm to the point where if I allow myself to become completely sober, I feel WEIRD. I'm forgetting things all the time, simple little trivial things like walking into a room and forgetting why, laying out my medication on the counter and forgetting to take it, and driving to the store and making wrong turns to get there, and then driving right past it because my head is in la-la land. I can't think clearly and I feel stupid even when I do sober up. Worst of all, I'm DEPRESSED! I have been getting days lately where I'm just depressed for no good reason. I keep thinking terrible things like "why am I here, what is my purpose in life, what do I matter to anyone? Why are people so careless and mean to each other? Will everyone ever get along?". I also just got back together with an on-and-off girlfriend of 3 years, and she moved into my place (temporarily for $$$ reasons, we're helping each other out here because were both strapped), and I'm starting to feel like I just dug myself a grave! I keep feeling like I should leave her but I don't know why, she's done nothing wong. I don't know if it could be seasonal depression (because it just started getting balls ass cold here), or could it be sheer boredom from not working, or depression because I'm pretty much out of money, or what.....
All in all, the depression is killing me. I feel like I have no friends. I feel like my life is empty and there's no reason to live. No, I'm not getting suicidal thoughts or anything, but I just feel like life is pointless. I never feel like this, I'm not used to this, I'm usually the happy-go-lucky guy.
All I want to know is, do anyone else ever notice this happening to them after long-term frequent marijuana use? I do not want to feel this way anymore, it feels like a long, dragged out cocaine comedown, it's awful. I've done other drugs, but not a lot of anything else, nothing that would cause long lasting depression.
I'm going to start cutting down on weed severely. I'm resisting smoking because now, when I smoke, all it does is haze out the bad thoughts for a little while (kinda) only for them to return in a little while. I'd like to get to a point where I smoke recreationally every so often with friends, and not habitually like I currently do. My lungs are taking a toll too...
Thanks in advance and sorry if this is in the wrong place.
I started smoking weed frequently, every day to be precise back in like Feb last year. In May, my work contract ended and I've been unemployed since. I decided to take the summer off from work and just enjoy myself. When it came time to buckle down, jobs were not pulling through and it actually got to the point where I couldn't get a job no matter how hard I tried. I finally landed a job, but it doesn't start until Jan. The entire time I've been unemployed, I've been stoned pretty much all day, every day. Alas, I believe it has taken it's toll...
I'm to the point where if I allow myself to become completely sober, I feel WEIRD. I'm forgetting things all the time, simple little trivial things like walking into a room and forgetting why, laying out my medication on the counter and forgetting to take it, and driving to the store and making wrong turns to get there, and then driving right past it because my head is in la-la land. I can't think clearly and I feel stupid even when I do sober up. Worst of all, I'm DEPRESSED! I have been getting days lately where I'm just depressed for no good reason. I keep thinking terrible things like "why am I here, what is my purpose in life, what do I matter to anyone? Why are people so careless and mean to each other? Will everyone ever get along?". I also just got back together with an on-and-off girlfriend of 3 years, and she moved into my place (temporarily for $$$ reasons, we're helping each other out here because were both strapped), and I'm starting to feel like I just dug myself a grave! I keep feeling like I should leave her but I don't know why, she's done nothing wong. I don't know if it could be seasonal depression (because it just started getting balls ass cold here), or could it be sheer boredom from not working, or depression because I'm pretty much out of money, or what.....
All in all, the depression is killing me. I feel like I have no friends. I feel like my life is empty and there's no reason to live. No, I'm not getting suicidal thoughts or anything, but I just feel like life is pointless. I never feel like this, I'm not used to this, I'm usually the happy-go-lucky guy.
All I want to know is, do anyone else ever notice this happening to them after long-term frequent marijuana use? I do not want to feel this way anymore, it feels like a long, dragged out cocaine comedown, it's awful. I've done other drugs, but not a lot of anything else, nothing that would cause long lasting depression.
I'm going to start cutting down on weed severely. I'm resisting smoking because now, when I smoke, all it does is haze out the bad thoughts for a little while (kinda) only for them to return in a little while. I'd like to get to a point where I smoke recreationally every so often with friends, and not habitually like I currently do. My lungs are taking a toll too...
Thanks in advance and sorry if this is in the wrong place.
Last edited: